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View Full Version : Calling when not arranging a date..or should I arrange one?



theagx
07-08-2008, 01:11 AM
Hi,

I have had a day3 with a girl and haven't contacted her since that day (Sat night/Sun morning). It is now Tuesday and I thought I should keep myself in her mind by calling - but whenever I call, it is to arrange a date. We've seen each other every weekend for 3 weekends now (day1 - 3), and it might be seeming predictable? I also don't even know where to take her if we go out this week. Day 2 = iceskating, Day 3 = pub and club. I want day 4 to be another adventurous activity like day 2 was, to keep things interesting.

Should I give her the gift of missing me this weekend, seen as I have a friend's stag night to go to on Saturday. If I call and she is available, shall I arrange a Friday day 4? I don't know what to say if I am just calling to "chew the fat" and banter. I don't know what to say if I am not leading up to an invitation out. If I don't see her for 2 weeks, will I fade out her mind?

"Hi, we had fun, didnt we? OK c ya" - That's how it would come off.

I think I might arrange something for Friday. Bowling???

FreakWave
07-08-2008, 05:03 AM
Hi,

How is the relation at the moment, did you kiss her for example? How is she reacting till now, did she call you already, did she text you? It might be wise to demonstrate some value if she didn't, so just don't call her for a couple of days.

Decide if meeting her this weekend fits your schedule. You don't have to meet her every weekend.

She might call you, and you know what you want.

If you're getting nervous, say thursday, call her. Tell some things about your week, a short funny story you heard of or something you did. Ask what she did. It really doesn't matter that much, just chat a bit, like you'd do when you meet her. At a certain point you can let her know you are busy this weekend, but this doesn't mean you don't like her. For example:
She: So what do you do this weekend.
You: I've got lots of things to do. stag night, something on friday, etc.
She: (At this moment she thinks: he doesn't want to do anything with me anymore, but says) Sounds like a lot of fun.
You: But I was thinking we could meet next week.
Make an appointment for the day only, and call her next week for more details.

You can also do a step back, just send her a light and funny text message today. Use some callback humour as described in the text game basics by braddock and savoy. This will build some comfort and get you into her mind again. You can call later on.

Hope this helps.

theagx
07-08-2008, 05:43 AM
Hi,
Thanks Freakwave.

I k-closed last Saturday night, and had a lot of kino. I just texted her an hour ago with some callback humour and she replied.

BTW, I have the stag night this Sat. but am probably free Friday night, and if we were to go out, it would be THAT night.

Also, from last Sat. night/Sun morning til now, Tuesday afternoon, I didn't contact her at all. I sms'd her (light and funny text). She asked how I was in the sms reply. I haven't responded to HER reply yet. I will give it a few hours.

FreakWave
07-08-2008, 07:21 AM
Sounds like you're making good progress. :) If it's no problem for you, why don't you call her to arrange a date on friday?

If you don't feel like a date friday, I think you should call her anyhow. Maybe tomorrow or something, just to chat a bit, as a IOI, and also to let her know that you can't see her this weekend (in a subtle way of course). You don't have to tell her why you can't, nor make up some story. Just tell her you've got other plans.

I think calling is better than just some texting for almost 2 weeks, also because you are already way in the comfort zone.

GL

theagx
07-08-2008, 09:44 AM
Fw, thanks.

I think I might arrange something for Friday, but since its such short notice, it will be a local bowling alley or something.

JaggedG
07-09-2008, 02:46 PM
Hey theagx, sounds like you're doing well so far... as usual :P

To answer your original question, as a general rule, there's nothing wrong with calling just to talk and it's actually encouraged (I think it mentioned that in the phone game chapter of Magic Bullets). If you want to really get your head around phone game and have an actual game plan, the best literature I've found so far is here (http://www.mehowgetthegirl.com/ebooks/GTG_PhoneGame_V1.13.pdf). Sounds like you're doing just fine though, as long as you keep emotional momentum and comfort going. Actually, calling her without the intent of arranging a date will help with comfort. Txting is good, calling is better. There's so much good stuff you communicate with your voice that you can't communicate via txt.