PDA

View Full Version : BradP Style Mystery & Avoiding Questions - HELP!!



jbrett
07-02-2008, 08:43 AM
So my impression of bradp is he won't really tell a girl much straight up at all. He'll always leave her guessing and comes off as very mysterious... I try this my best but it backfires in two ways:

1. She keeps on the question I won't answer. My frame is to never give the game up. If I say Im a garbage man than thats what I am and she's not sure if Im joking. So she'll just keep at it, asking and asking. So its lose lose. She either doubts my integrity and thinks Im lying OR she wins the frame because I cave. :(

2. All this mysteriousness builds up and shes like "OK but seriously WHATS YOUR DEAL." And if I entertain that for even a second it turns into...
"what do you do, where are you from, your name, ect"

and BAM she's controlling the interaction. Bad.


Please... thoughts. I wish I could ask Brad about this.

Vapor
07-02-2008, 09:28 AM
Too much mysteriousness kills comfort.

2. All this mysteriousness builds up and shes like "OK but seriously WHATS YOUR DEAL." And if I entertain that for even a second it turns into...
"what do you do, where are you from, your name, ect"
Most girls are going to want to know those things, and a lot of others before they have sex with you.

If I were in your situation, I would control this by setting up the rules. "OK, we can't do the boring name-work-hometown questions everybody else does. It's too dull. We're going to play the question game. There are three rules...." *run question game*

jbrett
07-02-2008, 10:15 AM
thats money man! I thought about using some sort of fun rules to limit her questions, like you can only ask me three. Or one every 5 minutes haha. thx for the advice

Vapor
07-02-2008, 10:23 AM
thats money man! I thought about using some sort of fun rules to limit her questions, like you can only ask me three. Or one every 5 minutes haha. thx for the advice
I believe it's in the routines manual, I wouldn't change anything about it. The rules are "You can only ask interesting questions, you can't ask a question somebody else has already asked, and... you go first."

Any question can turn into a conversation, and then just ask "Who's turn was it?" when things slow down. I have done this in long distance stuff and it's killer, but really it's good any time.

Sinn
07-02-2008, 12:58 PM
Brad does a lot of confusion stuff so he answers questions differently everytime to keep them off balance, the key is they can't know if you're serious or not. If girls are doubting you then it's probably not funny enough.

You can also obey the rule of one funny answer then a sincere answer.

Best,

S

BradP
07-02-2008, 03:18 PM
Ok let's consider a few ways of handling this and the caliobrations that go along with them.

If you need something simple, stick with what Sinn was saying. That's a practical and usable pattern. I'm going to give you some more complex stuff, since you're looking for mastery.

There's a time to flirt and tease, and there's a time to just be normal and talk to the girl on the level.

Most guys don't know how to to tease and have to learn, this is why i stress the teasing stuff. but it's not all I do, there are many times when I give straight answers.

That doesn't mean that you're giving up the frame or losing control. If she likes you and is curious about you, what's wrong with going with that frame?

But the point is to make her work a little for it, since she will value you more as a result.

The calibration is basically this: if she likes you a lot, you tease less. If she's not that into you yet, you tease more.

here's some standard fun stuff for this.

what do you do?
I work at sesame place. i play snufalufucus. i'm the front half since I'm tall and I get to do the voicce. wanna hear? "hiiiii biiiiird."

no really what do you do.
hmmmm, are you a bit intrigued with me. that is so cute. you have look in your eye like I'm your 4th grade crush.

well i really just wanted to know what you do.
OK let's play a game. you guess what i do, then i'll guess what you do.

Hmmm, i don't know. are you an actor?
I've always thought about doing that, but never actually went through with it. good guess tho. I'm actually ___________.
Ok now I'll guess you.
teacher? banker? waitress? hostess? nanny?




So the idea is that this makes it into more of a fun game than just a simple QnA session.

There's the times also where the girl obviously is already int you. Then you can just tell her the answer and then tell her all about how you got into that line of work.

The mis-calibration you're making is you think the idea is "never give a straight answer." Actually you do, but you make her work for it and get attracted to you in the process. You start with the BS answer, and then go through a process from there.

If you've been doing training and self help for a while, you might have quite a few cool things going on in your life. Be vague about them at first, and say "i'll tell you more about it another time." this builds anticipation and keeps her coming back.

For me, i have a lot of cool stuff going on, and if I say all of it at once it sounds like bragging. So I'll sometimes reveal this stuff slowly over a period of months if it's a girl I really like and am going to keep seeing.

complex, i know, but that's the mastery leve of how to do this.