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seldomseen
06-25-2008, 01:49 PM
I realized that this journey never ends. Today I bombed horribly and yet it was one of the few days were it did not affect me. I met up with South from the boards today and went with him to get some chai and talk. At the coffee shop there were two attractive older women and I started making small talk and they responded but as I continued one of them cuts me off and says "okay were going to have to cut you off because this is important" I just said no problem it was nice to meet them both. South said they were rude and I didn't see it that way. They were dressed in business attire and had their laptops, cell phones and papers scattered everywhere. Afterwards we left and two younger women were seated and we talked to them for all of 1 minute and they just weren't responsive at all. One girl kept looking away and I excused us both and went out after trying to plow a bit. An hour later we went to a place for a beer to chill and South tried to open the girls in the booth behind us asking what they recommend for appetizers. They shrugged and I asked if they've eaten there before and they nodded while still keeping their heads down in the menu. No big deal. That was my mindset and it really is no big deal.


I always said if you aren't ever getting blown out then you either are incredibly good with your game or your aren't talking to enough women or groups of women and usually it's the latter. Rejection is better than regret. Too many times we let moments go past saying to ourselves "what if...?"
I used to hate when I wouldn't talk to a single woman in a night and then go home and read over some more material as if that would help. And the next night or weekend I would walk in the bar feeling proud because I know more than the other guys. Yes I've talked to a lot of women but I've also let a lot of others walk past me while searching in my head for something perfect or clever to say. Hell sometimes you just have to go and get blown out and get it out of your system, it's going to happen but the thing is YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN AND WHERE it will happen.

South took it rather hard. He was getting into that 'this sucks' mindset and I told him look you didn't lose a dime out of your pocket, or take any hits off of your health, or anything else to affect you physically, financially, or whatever else. Good salesman get rejected more than passive salesmen because they talk to way more people - and they end up with bigger commission checks.
The thing that always stays in my mind is that women want to be talked too by cool guys. Women want to be talked to by cool guys!

BigDuke6
06-25-2008, 02:18 PM
Rejection is better than regret

Words to live by...

Eyecontact
06-25-2008, 02:57 PM
we talked to them for all of 1 minute and they just weren't responsive at all. One girl kept looking away...

This is just the nature of day game and cold approaches.

A woman explained it to me thus "Sometimes we are just not open to meeting new people".

No problem. It means nothing, move on... the next woman maybe like "you made my day!"

Personally, I like to get a "feeling" for if they are open to being approached. A nebulous concept I know. I guess I am talking about body language. Some women just give off this vibe of "don't come near me". I am happy to oblige because I don't want waste my valuable time.

seldomseen
06-25-2008, 03:28 PM
This is just the nature of day game and cold approaches.

A woman explained it to me thus "Sometimes we are just not open to meeting new people".

No problem. It means nothing, move on... the next woman maybe like "you made my day!"

Personally, I like to get a "feeling" for if they are open to being approached. A nebulous concept I know. I guess I am talking about body language. Some women just give off this vibe of "don't come near me". I am happy to oblige because I don't want waste my valuable time.

Oh very much so. I can usually tell in about 2-3 minutes if they are open. You can usually get a feel for their emotional states yet calibration is a key. For instance had a bad day at work you don't want to be high energy, instead you tone it down with low energy. Ive talked to plenty of girls that were down and they ended up opening up because of the vibe of not pressing or being high energy.

AdamBIZZY
06-25-2008, 03:36 PM
IT feels soo much better to get blown out then it does to wonder what could have been

ooranos
06-25-2008, 04:56 PM
Rejection is better than regret. Ain't that the truth!

I recall a night at a Mexican restaurant/bar when I got blown out of every set that night. Nothing stuck. I opened about 15-20 sets too! It was discouraging, but some nights are just like that. Then I've had nights where I opened the first set and ended up bouncing. But you never know until you try.

DeadEyeDick
06-25-2008, 05:07 PM
seldomseen I have always admired that you have many things to say, and many ways to say them.

great thread, and long thoughts ... :)

unrated
06-25-2008, 10:50 PM
Rejection is better than regret

So simple and true, yet hard to live by at times. Well said man, this is something that will stick in my head for a while whenever I second guess myself on approaching.

south
06-26-2008, 06:35 AM
used to hate when I wouldn't talk to a single woman in a night and then go home and read over some more material

after you left the apartment I went over some more material, LOL! It was good to meet you. Seldom is a good looking older guy with a knack for dialog. He looks like a better looking Don Cheadle! I was like wow man you can't be 41, more like 25. I think if he took a bootcamp he'd be really good because his ability to improvise and come up with dialog is sharp. But yeah yesterday wasn't happening and I let it affect me negatively but I don't regret one moment because we actually started conversations with girls instead of doing the whole sit back and watch thing. I've been out with a few guys and
they were like no lets just chill and have fun and hang back, not talking to 1 girl at all and I've went back on the board, not this board by the way, and they were posting all of this technical advice on approaching and dhv stuff and I'm like dude you didn't talk to 1 girl in 3 hours!! The laptop professional MILFs were the fast talking, Wallstreet wannabe women who looked at you for a second and if you didn't scream money they weren't interested. I thought they were rude! But the other girls were just on their own cloud like girls who read and have ipods on. Its hard to break the ice with them. But yeah rejection is greater than regret.

silverghost
06-26-2008, 09:29 AM
Yeap I agree with this. Dont forget when you get blow out after opening many sets in your life, it has nothing to do with you really. A girl might be in your period. Another might be a lesbian. another might just broke up with her cheating bf and she is hating all men. some other might be so busy with work that her brain is shut down to seduction or everything else for the matter. And the list goes on. So if you get things personally then truely this game aint for you.
I am sure that at least 70% of the people that read pick up material they are like "oh sure they work, when i want a gf i will get one, now i am cool" Dudes what this really says is "I have no balls to go out and try em because some woman might reject me." You make it sound like she ll take a gun out and shoot you. Thats why you ll also hear many say that if you want a gf you ll get her from your social circle. Ehm no thanks. I want to have options in my life, and not get what i am served because someone thought i might like it.
Show me a man that is not afraid to take chances and I ll show you a successful man. Truely spend less time here and go out and sarge your ass off. I cant stand questions of the like" This one girl" Mates if everyone of us was posting for all the girls we meet each night, i wont even put for a week, we d want a second forum just for that.
Anyway great post Seldomseen. Lets hope it will touch some people.

rigerhong
06-26-2008, 09:33 AM
But let's suppose that when you got blown out, the other guy approached the same girl and he made it.

It is total shock and disaster to your confidence and pride.

How do you guys overcome this?

Chince Parming
06-26-2008, 10:22 AM
I've been reading this forum for about a week now and this post was my final decision to join ( what going on everybody?). Letting that one chance slip away from you because of a slip of doubt is probably the worst feeling on earth. I'm frequently in setting like that and I end up kicking myself the day after. It's refreshing to see this positive attitude taken by it.

seldomseen
06-26-2008, 11:39 AM
But let's suppose that when you got blown out, the other guy approached the same girl and he made it.

It is total shock and disaster to your confidence and pride.

How do you guys overcome this?


You're selling computers. You work for Dell the other guy works for Acer. You both are selling the same pc with different names. The Acer guy gets the sale from your prospective client. If it happens every time then you probably need to be retrained. If it happens only on certain occasions (and it will happen) you just need to realize it's the nature of the business.
Riger I'm sure some instructors on here, even the top level guys will tell you about nights they didn't hook a girl and she ended up going out with, kissing or talking to some other guy even a guy less attractive or less cool than themselves. I don't care if you're skill level is a 10 you will not attract every woman - that's an exaggerated idea that you can 'have any girl you want'

Ali lost to Joe Frazier only to watch George Foreman crush Joe in two rounds. You think Ali lost all his confidence then? No years later he went on to beat Joe Frazier and George Foreman.

wildinout8
06-26-2008, 03:41 PM
But let's suppose that when you got blown out, the other guy approached the same girl and he made it.

It is total shock and disaster to your confidence and pride.

How do you guys overcome this?

It's all about how you frame the situation and remain positive about it.

1) As soon as you say bye and turn around she could start feeling like a cunt that was short with you...she could start feeling like she wants you to come back and talk to her, but some other guy just picks up and opens her from where you left off...

2) She could already know the guy...

3) She could have bad taste in men and the douche that followed you up was just her type...

Great post Seldom...what you wrote is so true. Getting blown out is going to happen - bottom line. You can't make every shot...can't get every job...can't ace every test. All you can do is be yourself, do your best and let God sort it all out end.

...but how good does it feel when some random sexy girl opens up her body language and respondes positively and sexually to you when you weren't even really expecting it to come from her :D

silverghost
06-26-2008, 04:33 PM
Some girl might be into guys with blue eyes because the 2 guys that she hooked up some time ago made her cum harder than every other guy. Simple as that. Or you raised her buying temperature and u didnt close and she hooked up with the next guy. Or he wa better than you. So what? If you approach 1000 sets and this happens 10 times is this the rule? or the exception? Dont take the exceptions too seriously its a mindfuck.

ooranos
06-26-2008, 07:20 PM
But let's suppose that when you got blown out, the other guy approached the same girl and he made it.

It is total shock and disaster to your confidence and pride.

Why?

She didn't like your approach. Okay. Great. One down, thousands more to go.

The big problem here is that you are seeking validation of yourself through other people, namely from women. Stop it.

seldomseen
06-27-2008, 03:07 PM
so here I am today in one of these 'rejection > regret' moments at the Mall. There was this very attractive shapely woman walking. I froze. For a second I froze.

Early today I opened a two set sitting down outside for ice cream by pretending I was on the phone talking about my friend getting hit in the face by his girlfriend with a corndog and how mustard was on his face. The girl busted out laughing and after I got off the phone they said I feel sorry for your friend and I said can you believe that? His girlfriend hits him in the face with a corndog during an argument! I sat with them and talked for a good 15 minutes but they were too young for me. I'm 41. 18 just feels rather weird to me now but they enjoyed every moment I was there. By the way I've used that corndog routine plenty of times with younger sets and they always look at each other and start laughing.


So back to the Mall. Yeah I completely froze up with this twenty something, very hot, very built woman with long flowing hair. Soooooo I noticed a thin attractive girl working in the jewelry store going outside. She went out for a smoke and I followed. As soon as I got outside and put my hands on my hip and go 'Damn it, damn it, damn it' She goes you look like you're upset with yourself. I told her how there was this attractive woman in the Mall and how I froze up when wanting to talk to her. The jewelry girl was half white, half Filipino and very attractive and very flirtatious. I couldnt tell if she wanted to turn me into a customer or if she was genuinely interested because of me talking about this other attractive girl and talking about how I never blow approaches like that. She introduced herself as Donna, asked me my name, my age, and even took off her sunglasses and stared me in the eyes. I then knew there was something. But she had this big rock on her fingers. Big rock!! I said man your husband did his homework on this - Green Lantern would be jealous of this thing. I grabbed her hand and did a fake cold read/palm read. She called me out for flirting. I told her she needed more of a butt and I'd be flirting. She turns around and shows me and then request that I feel. I felt hers, she felt mine. She then gave me a blowjob in bushes and I ate her out. Okay Just kidding, disregard that last part.
But after heavy flirting she had to get back in and I was happy to make up for the blown approach by flirting with the jewelry girl. I still couldn't get over the Marilyn Monroe built woman I got tongue and approach tied with. Rejection > regret.