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View Full Version : Ive played nice and thats not worked... what next?



blackthought
06-25-2008, 01:26 AM
I hooked up with a girl a couple of times (and im looking to make this serious). theres a small problem though.

It turns out her group of friends (guys/girls) all hate my guts.

They clearly know my reputation as a bit of a player. Never the less, every time i show up its like stepping into hellfire. The back-talk, attitude and outright disrespect just adds to the tension.

The fact that i don't react to any of their shit makes them amp it up even more. Now they've started targeting HER and making feel guilty for even associating with me, and to tell you the truth i can see her cracking under the pressure very very soon ( she lives with them btw)

Anyways im going to her birthday this weekend and i do not...repeat... DO NOT want to put up with their shit again.

Ive played mr. nice-unreactive guy with these guys and thats not worked, what next?....

DanJer
06-25-2008, 01:43 AM
Tell her you've changed. You went thru a phase and now it's passed. You don't regret it because it's helped your confidence in yourself.

Time to bare your soul. Go re-read the last chapter of Neil's book 'The Game'

ONLY DO THIS IF IT IS TRUE.

With the friends it will take time and they will need to see the change with their own eye's.

silverghost
06-25-2008, 06:14 AM
Oh man I ve been there and in my expirience it didnt worth the trouble but feel free to do your thing. Especially if a guy wants to destroy you he will. He ll try to befriend you and try to hook you up with some girl so he can be mr nice guy to her "see i told you he was looking at other girls". You know how it goes. Either be extra careful or be extra flawless in their and her eyes.

Sy
06-25-2008, 06:27 AM
Remember its your identity

People only don't like you for it if you are apologetic about it, or try to make up for it, or on some level aren't 100% congruent with it.

Own it, never apologise for who you are. Deprecate by all means, but if they're quite serious in their accusations against you, just own the accusations and take it to extremes. Always in a deadpan tone, like its the most boring thing in the world.

You sound like you have it pretty much figured out though. Stay open and honest about everything with the girlie and all should be well. Every faith in you man :)

The Therapist
06-25-2008, 10:17 AM
Make it clear to her that you do not like the way her friends treat you. You would never treat one of your buddy's girlfriend like that. Even if you hated her guts, you had more respect for him.

Then add on that you dig her blah, blah, blah, but maybe from now on, you two spend more time alone, as opposed with her friends.

Do you two spend any time within your social circle or just hers. Bring around some girl friends. Bring two or three wo hang out with her social circle and 1 or 2 of the girls will hit it off. Or, there will be a cat fight and you have the chance of seeing a boob pop out, then after it's over you can open every girl in the bar with the, "Hey, did you see that girl gang fight earlier?" "Yeah? Well they were fighting over me! Isn't that crazy?"

Spanish_Prisoner
06-25-2008, 11:30 AM
blackthought,
your only way to have a longterm thing with her is to get along with them, since she lives with them and they are her friends. go out with one or all of them. hang around and try to have a fun time. show them you are serious here. if it's true you want her longterm, then make the others feel safe for their friend too.