View Full Version : Making friends, farming pivots...

06-17-2008, 04:49 PM
At the moment I don't really have any friends that are girls, but I wanted to have more female friends in my life, both as pivots and because it's lame to hang out exclusively with guys.

My problem is that whenever I try and make friends with a girl she ends up coming on to me and I can't figure out a way to lay the 'Let's just be friends' line on her without hurting her feelings and causing her to lose interest in being friends. Every time this has happened in the past the girl becomes uncomfortable with spending time with me after they have expressed direct interest and I (politely) turned them down.

Of course I could only talk to girls who I'm attracted to, then if I can't attract them I can at least potentially make a new friend, but I'd like to get some help since I'm in the middle of one of these situations right now, and also because this has been a recurring problem for me.

In this particular situation I am trying to be friends with a girl who I share mutual friends with, she has cute female friends and goes out to a lot of clubs I would never otherwise visit, so it'd be great if we could be drinking buddies or something like that. Unfortunately, I think she is interested in me as more than a friend and I'm just not attracted to her, but would really like to just be friends cause I do think she's cool and that we'd be good friends.

I've done everything possible to not show interest in her while maintaining a friendly demeanor, but it's not working. I don't want it to get to the point where she directly expresses that she likes me and I have to let her down. Any tips or tricks to deal with this?

Big Business
06-17-2008, 09:08 PM
First of all, it sounds like you've got the best kind of problem. "God, all these women like me!" Looks like you're doing something right.

Try to actively talk about other women that you are pursuing. This can be a good jealousy plot line to run with women that you ARE interested in, but it can also help to diffuse women who think you are into them.

If they actively come onto you in a way that you cannot avoid, you want to pump up their ego as much as possible as you are letting them down. Women hate rejection even more than men. "I'm sorry, Sweetie. You are one of my favorite people in the world right now, and in another time and place I would be doing dirty things to you, but I know we wouldn't make each other happy."

06-17-2008, 10:25 PM
I agree this seems like (as my wing Churchill would say) a high class kind of problem. I would say don't be so direct in the rejection. Go out but drop IODs and keep her off a bit. Stick to a strong frame of going out and meeting new people and bring her along for it. If at some point it blows up, so what? You will have another in queue to go out with.

06-18-2008, 06:30 AM
Try pushing her (them) into situations with other people around. Happy hours with the group. A bunch of folks going to play pool. That kind of thing. This signals you like her company and can even have a great time. But it also cools her off some (it's bold for her to make overt advances in front of others). It sends a strong LJBF signal when you're not isolating. The same reason girls feel more comfortable meeting people in a group (because it's a SAFE environment) can work for you in reverse.

There is a downside to all this great game. If you are out DHV'ing all the time, plenty of girls will see you as High Value. Hearts will be broken...