PDA

View Full Version : I feel like an ass...



jayman
03-21-2006, 07:44 PM
I've been dating this girl for a few weeks now who's a solid 8 and have really built attraction with her. She loves being teased. The other day we were at Wendy's and I was amazed at how much this girl eats. Not only did she scarve down her biggie fries, she also started eating mine! This was a great opportunity to bust on her. She said "What do you expect from a girl who's 20 pounds overweight?" to which i replied, "You mean 25 don't you?" And I was completely joking because this girl weighs no more than 100 pounds.
From that point forward most of the teasing I did had something to do with how much she ate and how i thought she was extremely overweight. And she never seemed offended, she seemed to enjoy it just like most girls enjoy playful teasing. Now she just admitted to me that she's bulimic and I feel like a fuckin asshole for teasing her about her weight. At first I didn't believe her I thought she was kidding but then she was telling me how she goes to a therapist and has a nutritionist and takes prozac.
I need your guys opinion on whether or not you think this is a warning sign to stay away from this girl who clearly has emotional problems, or whether i shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Masters
03-21-2006, 07:47 PM
I've been dating this girl for a few weeks now who's a solid 8 and have really built attraction with her. She loves being teased. The other day we were at Wendy's and I was amazed at how much this girl eats. Not only did she scarve down her biggie fries, she also started eating mine! This was a great opportunity to bust on her. She said "What do you expect from a girl who's 20 pounds overweight?" to which i replied, "You mean 25 don't you?" And I was completely joking because this girl weighs no more than 100 pounds.
From that point forward most of the teasing I did had something to do with how much she ate and how i thought she was extremely overweight. And she never seemed offended, she seemed to enjoy it just like most girls enjoy playful teasing. Now she just admitted to me that she's bulimic and I feel like a fuckin asshole for teasing her about her weight. At first I didn't believe her I thought she was kidding but then she was telling me how she goes to a therapist and has a nutritionist and takes prozac.
I need your guys opinion on whether or not you think this is a warning sign to stay away from this girl who clearly has emotional problems, or whether i shouldn't make a big deal out of it.
In the future.. don't bag on her weight more than once or twice.. if ever unless you have a specific goal in mind: ie her losing it and you know it might cause issues in her head.
Second, I think she's going to have more issues as you get to know her. IF you want to go by the ideals of this community, you should end the relationship and move on.

Hawkish
03-21-2006, 07:58 PM
First i have had a bulimic girlfriend that was a solid 9 so i understand. Second, there will be emotional problems. Third it all depends on how much you like her. IF you reall do feel like you can deal with the issues than in my opinion go for it. You can get great bonding out of helping her through this problem. But dont do it unless your in for the long haul and have the ability to deal with a very very VERY difficult issue. SHE is going to have issues, dont do it if you are not willing to comit to it. I know its not advice this community usually gives, but i just felt since i have been through the same thing i might give you a bit of encouragement. But do what you feel is right man, do what you feel is right. peace :cool:

Malibu
03-21-2006, 08:37 PM
From that point forward most of the teasing I did had something to do with how much she ate and how i thought she was extremely overweight.
Honestly i reckon this is not the case...i reckon she does feel hurt if you tease her...she is just covering it up as a defense. but its all just building up and one day she WILL crack.
In my opinion...no girl should be made fun of even if she takes it as playful...its not what she is feeling truly in her heart.
:cool:
Malibu

Dr. Zeus
03-21-2006, 10:00 PM
Cut and run. Do like she does with her lunch, leave the mess for someone else to clean up.

Vincent Chase
03-21-2006, 10:44 PM
If it were me I would continue the pick up and then help her get over her problems, but that's just me (i'm the love child of Don Juan and Dr. Phil.)
For you I would do like the rest are saying and drop her, that doesn't mean you have to lose contact but no more gaming, and a tip for the future, never use the same topic for a neg multiple times if you can help it and if you can't about 3-4 times in the same vein is the limit. It gives them the feeling of "That's all he's got on me? What an anooying prick." rather than overall disinterest and that's what you are trying to show, you are disqualifying her for you, it should only be aimed to lower self esteem with HBs, your average B5-7 doesn't need "esteem negs".
Maybe tell her that you two could never get together because she's so skinny and you like girls with meat on their bones, then sexually pleasure her and then give her a hand getting over her issues... there I go again with what I would do.
Hope I helped, good luck.

Jack Handy
03-21-2006, 10:55 PM
Its always better to bust on a girl about something other than her physical attributes.
I have done similar things. They didnt have eating disorders. But the way I view it, most girls are a few comments away from trying anything.
Next time make fun of her taste in food instead. Or go for her shoes. She wont ever live that down.

Fresno Smooth
03-21-2006, 11:42 PM
i think shoes and tastes are more appropriate than weight
eating disorders are pretty fuckin serious my cousin has one and it was toguh to see her last weekend
im not gonna lie i would cut and run from this but while it may save you some headaches down the road it may fuck her up more because she wil think did he dump me cause im fat? when she isnt
i dotn care who the girl is 100 pounds is fuckin tiny
if you really care about this girl stick it out and help her through it as hawkish did

TrueReligioN
03-22-2006, 12:29 AM
My experience so far, is neg'ing them is not necesssary what so ever once you get to C1. Maybe I do way too much DHV but I think negging them once you get to C1 just pushes them away. I have crashed and burned so many times lately for trying to Neg once I have their attention. I have totally layed off the negging as of late and have done way better. Negging them once you get to C1 is just shooting yourself in the foot. I am guessing you are ATLEAST to C1 if you are "dating" for a few weeks.
Fader told me that he thought Negging isn't really key and I am begining to belive it. Negging is for 9.5+'s who hate the world and dont want to talk to any guy's at the club. Or the kind of girl that gets off on shutting guy's down. I even recall Mystery saying negging is for 9+'s.
If you are super confident and coming off as a catch from the start is there really a reason to neg?

snakebite
03-22-2006, 01:42 AM
There should be a rule of negging called:
Don't neg girls on there weight EVER
I think its probably the most insecure thing girls have about themselves and it should never be used to neg a target as it is too offensive,
SnakeBite

Vincent Chase
03-22-2006, 02:21 AM
As long as people understand Neg Theroy and what it has evolved into they should be capabl of choosing the proper method.
DLV
Disqualification
Ned
Shotgun Neg
Esteem Neg
and so on and so forth, i've got a post somwhere on the forum about this, search for it.
Negging on major physical attributes, weight included, should be reserved for HBs, thats approx. 8.5+ anything else is a B or an UG. Picking on her nails isn't a major physical attribute.
Learn what to use, when to use it, how to use it, how much to use,how long to use it and why to use it. If you know that then tere are no limitations,anything done right is done perfect.

Flowz
03-22-2006, 02:33 AM
In my opinion...no girl should be made fun of even if she takes it as playful...its not what she is feeling truly in her heart.
^^ just like assholes eh.. lol.. j/p buddy..

Cut and run. Do like she does with her lunch, leave the mess for someone else to clean up.
^^ just thought I'd give u some recog.. this shit WAS funny.. not hilarious.. but deserved credit.. lol

But the way I view it, most girls are a few comments away from trying anything. ^^ wise words playah.. try it urself if u dont believe it ppl.. note: MOST girls tho..

Negging is for 9.5+'s who hate the world and dont want to talk to any guy's at the club. Or the kind of girl that gets off on shutting guy's down. I even recall Mystery saying negging is for 9+'s.
If you are super confident and coming off as a catch from the start is there really a reason to neg?^^ more wise words.. good stuff.. n so true.. Ive said it before n TR will say it again.. (n so will I) don't neg unless she's a fucking SHB..
That's All..
Flowz..