View Full Version : Group Dynamics: Convincing lower-value people in group to come to event

04-08-2008, 10:48 PM
Hey guys, this is a question in social/group dynamics..

I have a bit of a unique situation, which I thought I handled well initially. I just got college acceptances this past week, and an email was sent out to the kids who got accepted from my area. Now, this is the college I'm likely to go to, so I want to establish leadership over the group as soon as possible. There are six people who got accepted to the school from my area, and I sent them all an email congratulating them and saying that we're going to meet up next weekend at my favourite lounge downtown. Here's what happens:

-Two kids reply and figure out they're way too far away (3ish hour drive) to come. Damn.
-One girl (HB8.5) emails back immediately and says, Yea, I want to meet up with everybody
-One guy hasn't replied yet
-Two girls (UG4 and unknown) say that they were on a road trip for a sport, just got back, missed the week of school so need to catch up on HW and shit on the weekend. Pretty weak excuse, I think I scared them away a bit because I (maybe prematurely) somewhat DHV'd in my original message. One said:

As HBUnknown said, we have been on a road trip with the team and I unfortunately won't be able to meet up with you guys this weekend either. I have a ton of homework to get done before the end of next week!

So.. what do I do? I originally wanted the whole group to be there (NOT to sarge the HB 8.5, rather, to establish leadership for when we get to campus). But, I was pretty forceful in suggesting the meeting, so now when only 1 says they can make it I'm put in a crappy situation. Do I conform to the Ug's and say ok, we'll meet another time? Or do I try to convince them somehow? Thoughts, opinions? I think changing plans would be DLV.. but i dunno.

EDIT: I originally wanted to invite them to come with me and my friends to bring them into my world, but decided against it because I thought entertaining 6 NEW people while hanging with my friends would be difficult. That's why my situation is difficult.. I can't be like "well I'll be having a blast with my buds while you're doing HW" or anything like that, because of the choice I made. blah

04-08-2008, 11:04 PM
Depending on the size of the college, you can be fairly certain you'll never see these people on campus when you get there.

04-08-2008, 11:08 PM
Depending on the size of the college, you can be fairly certain you'll never see these people on campus when you get there.

1,948 were accepted this year. And I know I probably won't see them, but I figured if I were leader of a group coming in I'd have an easier time building a strong social circle of cool guys and hot girls.

04-09-2008, 05:39 AM
I dont think it will matter if you become the leader of this group. The real time to become a leader is when you first move in, thats where you need your social value to skyrocket. Matter of fact, by you becoming the leader of this 6 people group, you might even end up limiting your social connections in college. So I suggest that you dont sweat it, when you move in, just make sure to become a leader then, because that is the time when it is actually worth it.

04-09-2008, 02:18 PM
I know it's not what you originally planned, but why not just go ahead and meet up with HB8.5. She seems keen, the others don't.

Go with the flow... what have you got to lose, maybe you will make a new friend!

Good job in taking the initiative and organising something.

Btw, I hate changing plans to fit in with other people.