PDA

View Full Version : "people change, right?"



eFlow
03-21-2006, 12:39 AM
okay the reason I'm posting this on "The Main Board" is cause a girl said this to me yesturday...but I've been searching for a good answer to this question for quite some time...
I told her..."I dunno, I think things change, maybe beliefs, views, but I dunno about people..."
what do u guys think...or rather what do u guys think is a good response...

jbrett
03-21-2006, 12:47 AM
You mean a good response or an interesting response? What was the context of the question?

eFlow
03-21-2006, 12:52 AM
You mean a good response or an interesting response? What was the context of the question?
how about both...
it went something like this..."who lies more guys or girls"
she said something like "I think both, it depends..."
I go "u know u can find out a lot about a person from that questions, there past relationships etc etc..."
she goes "yeah, I usto, but not anymore..."
then I forget what I said but it was something that prompted
she goes "people change, right?"
that's somewhat how it went, this was actaully like 2 days ago, but I just remembered it...and was wondering...

Rain
03-21-2006, 01:57 PM
HB "...people change."
PUA "Everything changes...What I want to know is, what is it about who you are now that would make me want to get to know you better?"
It seems to me, that by acknowledging her past behavior, but implying that she has changed, she is qualifying to you. Therefore, I would give her a chance to really qualify and reward her for a good response.

Malibu
03-21-2006, 02:11 PM
HB "...people change."
PUA "Everything changes...What I want to know is, what is it about who you are now that would make me want to get to know you better?"
It seems to me, that by acknowledging her past behavior, but implying that she has changed, she is qualifying to you. Therefore, I would give her a chance to really qualify and reward her for a good response.
Thats a good idea to spin it on her...however i disagree....qualifying her seems to early. If her just came out of A1...barely...and then qualify??? I dont think that will work in his favour later on even though it is a good response up front.
maybe something like "Any living being with a mind of his or her own can change....if they WANT to"....i think this would demonstrate value (shows he is an emotional and openminded person) and then should jump into a routine. The Lying game in this situation would be perfect.
Later when he gets to A3, then he can bring up the subject again and qualify her.
:cool:
Malibu

Remy LeBeau
03-21-2006, 05:48 PM
okay the reason I'm posting this on "The Main Board" is cause a girl said this to me yesturday...but I've been searching for a good answer to this question for quite some time...
I told her..."I dunno, I think things change, maybe beliefs, views, but I dunno about people..."
what do u guys think...or rather what do u guys think is a good response...
by answering the question in the context of which she asked you would be going into her frame of reality, catering to her. i would respond with:
" ahh, but thats not what I asked... i want to know..."
and then continue with your routine. CONTROL THE FRAME. Remember, you're qualifying her.

Rain
03-21-2006, 07:35 PM
....qualifying her seems to early. If her just came out of A1...barely...and then qualify??? I dont think that will work in his favour later on even though it is a good response up front.
You're absolutely right. I guess something about the way in which she replied so honestly and introspectively made me think he was in A2 despite the fact he was using "who lies more..." I think maybe it seemed to me that they were alone during this conversation.
Anyhow, do as Malibu said if in A1, do as I said if in or moving to A3.

doc
03-21-2006, 07:50 PM
Rain, good to read you again...
People change by their actions, so yes they can change, by changing their actions.
Like as in " How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb ?...well just one, but the light bulb has to want to change".
So, lay some c/f on her why you`re at it to break the mood.

cold
03-21-2006, 08:55 PM
okay the reason I'm posting this on "The Main Board" is cause a girl said this to me yesturday...but I've been searching for a good answer to this question for quite some time...
I told her..."I dunno, I think things change, maybe beliefs, views, but I dunno about people..."
what do u guys think...or rather what do u guys think is a good response...
People do change, some are more likely to do so than others, but this doesn't happen when another person tries to change them. Can I say that it has never happened? I can, however, say that what is resisted has an odd way of persisting.
She wants to change someone. . . I'd like to think that it doesn't work because the energy is misguided - she is the one who needs to change.
edit: you want a good response lmao, oops, don't use what I said :p

Hypnovibe
03-22-2006, 04:00 AM
Of course people change....this is an excellent opportunity to DHV with intellectual conversation on values and having a memorable and meaningful conversation with her without letting it go down some road about an ex-boyfriend or something....make sure you keep it in your favor.