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View Full Version : tired of opening sets at school.



thehulk
03-06-2008, 10:09 AM
Ill try to make this as short as possible.

Im 21, started high school two months ago.

its not an average high school its for adults, but is a substantial procent that is young.

There is a girl that attends this school, I want here!

Problem is I have a hard time feeling loose around here, the main reason for this is I dont feel as if I have enough value when im there.

whenever we have break everyone heads to the caffeteria for coffee, Ive probably opened every set there is in the school (its not a big one).

But I cannot muster up the energy to open sets every break, I feel that I need a click of my own.

but I just cant get one

what to do?

Vapor
03-06-2008, 10:33 AM
Open sets in other places.

Familiar
03-06-2008, 10:49 AM
but I just cant get one

This is a bullshit excuse/rationalization. What is stopping you from making friends? Only imaginary walls that you have put up in your mind.

Start small, and make a few friends first. Just try to be laid back and funny, and this will take care of itself as long as you are outgoing. Then, the social proof will make it easier to make more friends.

Don't just start aggressively chasing the girl unless you know what you are doing, if you have no other friends etc at that school you will probably naturally cling to her and drive her away.

Just be sociable and ask people/groups (not just girls) to lunch etc. It really is that simple. Pretty soon you will have friends and be comfortable enough in that environment to branch out to everyone else, and pretty soon you will be friends with everybody. Don't worry about the girl until you at least establish a bit of social proof. Otherwise you will have to choose between being clingy or dlving yourself by being by yourself at lunch/breaks etc

Don't worry about your value. If your being older than everyone is something you are not comfortable, plan a dhv story ahead of time (ie I dropped out of school to do __ cool activity professionally and now I'm playing catch up). However, the fact you are older is generally a DHV. Chicks dig older guys and you will come across more mature then most everyone, and the girls will think they can learn something from you. It's all about anchoring.

thehulk
03-06-2008, 11:56 AM
okay maybe I exaggerated a bit.

its not that I dont have friends, I do, however I dont have a click that I hang out with most of the time because I havent found people that have alot incommon with me.

I am far from clingy if anything im out of reach (but not unfriendly).

there is this one guy thats much older than me, 36 and he is pretty HV we have alot incommon and are pretty good freinds but I keep dissing him by not sitting at his table, the reason for that is that he is the leader of his click and I dont want to be 2nd best so I figured starting a click of my own is better.

but seriously: is it that important to show that I have alot of freinds for DHV or can I just do it another way for example: by showing that im independant and good at school.

Familiar
03-06-2008, 01:22 PM
okay maybe I exaggerated a bit.

its not that I dont have friends, I do, however I dont have a click that I hang out with most of the time because I havent found people that have alot incommon with me.

I am far from clingy if anything im out of reach (but not unfriendly).

there is this one guy thats much older than me, 36 and he is pretty HV we have alot incommon and are pretty good freinds but I keep dissing him by not sitting at his table, the reason for that is that he is the leader of his click and I dont want to be 2nd best so I figured starting a click of my own is better.

but seriously: is it that important to show that I have alot of freinds for DHV or can I just do it another way for example: by showing that im independant and good at school.
A few points:

1) From my perspective, that guy and his group seem like a perfect solution to your problem. Your reasoning for not wanting to join his clique is the result of some false notions you seem to have about being alpha. To reframe some of them:
- Alpha males hang out with alpha males. They don't avoid hanging out with other alpha males for fear of being beta'd or 2nd best. If the dude is more alpha than you, there is NOTHING wrong with that as long as he isn't tooling you. Game respect game, right?

-There doesn't only have to be one alpha male. A true alpha will recognize when someone else is also alpha and respect it. In fact, the alphas will raise each others value. Generally alphas are seen with other alphas, notice how cool people generally hang out with other cool people?

- If this is not the case and you are generally more alpha than him, it is only a matter of time until you are the AMOG in that group.

- You are worrying too much about status imo, stop worrying about who is "the leader" and just focus on making cool friends. You read the game right? What would have happened if Style had not bothered hanging out with mystery for fear of simply being "2nd best"? Also, you can raise your value later. Remember, your value is always fluctuating.

- Look at it this way. You aren't joining them in their reality, you are inviting the ENTIRE group into yours (if you are the alpha).

2) Generally it IS better to start your own social circle, however it is a lot more difficult than joining an already established one. It is harder because to attract people your group has to be better/more fun than their current group. And if your trying to attract cool people, thats much easier said than done. If you just throw all the wall flowers at school into a group, you will jsut be seen as king of the losers. Obviously, this takes a lot of work and you have to be actually be a high value person to pull this off. Generally, it is just easier to join an already established circle.

3)Being independent (living in your own frame) and being good at school are both solid DHV's. However, preselection is HUGE, it is easily the most powerful attraction swtich. Remember, generally girls are BORED with their lives. The way Mystery frames it, is that all PUA's are trying to convey that they are the type of person who 40,000 years ago would have been leader of their tribe. When you pick up a girl, you are inviting her into your reality (tribe). So you want to have a tribe that she wants to be a part of, or at least visit. Remember, nothing is more attractive to women then status. And status is relative. A self perceived leader with no followers has no status. So get some followers. The higher value the followers (betas) have, the higher value the leader (alpha has).

hmmm went on a bit of a tangent there. But in short yes, it is hugely beneficial to have at least some group to hang out with.