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View Full Version : Erm a girl having problems qualifying herself, what do you do?



nForce
03-17-2006, 10:30 AM
Me; if i were to ask you to name qualities about yourself, what would they be? and they cant be about your looks or something you do!
Her; erm thats a hard one
and her trying for like 5 minutes to think of things but trying really hard it was funny, in the end she asked me what my 3 would be, i told her and then she just used them back (btw she got 2/3)
How should I have reacted to this?

Vapor
03-17-2006, 10:35 AM
She's got LSE, so compliment her on her "modesty." But don't give her five minutes to think.
"You know, lots of girls practically recite their resume when they get asked that question. It's so dull. But you're not full of yourself, I like that."

Audio
03-17-2006, 10:35 AM
I get this as well. It means they might actually be boring. IOD when they're not giving you answers, say things like '...you're not impressing me!', and they usually start working REALLY hard to think of something. But the cool ones usually have something worthy to say.

nForce
03-17-2006, 10:39 AM
Yea but the thing is this girl is the funnest girl to be around that I know, shes really outgoing and got a nice energy about her, but it kind of just got her thinking she couldnt answer it, I did qualify her for it though
and i really really doubt she LSE although deep down she could be, shes more of an AW but she is really outgoing and loud, hence why i thought it was wierd

Cedar
03-17-2006, 10:54 AM
This is normal for girls under the age of 22. They have NO direction in their life. Reward them for having a favorite color [props to Sinn on the Cliffs List DVD] or ask them to future project. ie, 'What's one thing you want to accomplish before you die.'
This is a personal sticking point, btw. I will eventually force myself to hit 18+ venues to prove to myself I can carry on a conversation with ANYONE. But I'm not there yet.
Focus on doing physical activites together vs deep conversations.

nForce
03-17-2006, 10:55 AM
This is normal for girls under the age of 22. They have NO direction in their life. Reward them for having a favorite color [props to Sinn on the Cliffs List DVD] or ask them to future project. ie, 'What's one thing you want to accomplish before you die.'
I struggle in 18+ venues because of this, btw. So fucking hard to vibe with chicks that have nothing going for them. Best to talk about yourself and let her lap it up.
How do i qualify chicks like this, I really don't wanna have to go 'i think your so hot', although theyd love it at this age

Vapor
03-17-2006, 10:58 AM
and i really really doubt she LSE although deep down she could be, shes more of an AW but she is really outgoing and loud, hence why i thought it was wierd
You're probably right. People who are extroverted around strangers aren't often LSE types. Maybe she was really into you and got tongue-tied, or didn't want to say something dull, or set herself up to get C&F'd. The key is finding a way to reward her and hit her up with a compliment not based on appearance if she is qualifying herself to you.

Face
03-17-2006, 10:59 AM
I don't think you have to qualify this type. If she shows IOIs and hangs around, you're doing fine. You need to DHV and "dumb it up".
Keep it simple. Challenge her with juvenile bets and reward her for stupid shit.
Show her how cool you are, and she'll want to be on your arm b/c subconsciously she feels she aquires your traits.

Cedar
03-17-2006, 11:17 AM
How do i qualify chicks like this, I really don't wanna have to go 'i think your so hot', although theyd love it at this age
Future projection.
PUA: 'Tell me what it'll be like to hang with you. Your kinda cool, but...I dunno. Am I gonna get sick of you?'
PUA: 'Do you have a favorite colour? OMG! I have a favorite colour too! We have SO much in common!' [Sinn - Cliffs List DVD]
PUA: 'What do you want to be when you grow up? Don't say princess.'
HB: 'uh....hmmm...I dunno know?'
PUA: 'OMG! You don't want to grow up either! high five!'
Stuff like that. But like I said, I haven't put a lot of effort into that age group.

obie
03-17-2006, 11:37 AM
Being able to A2/A3 all types of girls is consistenlty is kind of a SP for me. Seems I get A2/A3 really easily wth certain types of girls but others really couldn't care less about my DHV. Anyway, that's neither here nor there, more of a disclaimer.
In A3 you gotta be able to validate them, whatever they say (or don't say).
PUA: Are you adventurous?
HB: Uh...kind of... not really
PUA: OMG you're just like Velma on Scooby Doo. Quiet, and intellectual... I bet you solve mysteries... That's so awesome. Most people need to show off and put themselves out there, but you can have a good time whatever you're doing. That's so cool. You might be a bit too much for me though
Thing is though, you gotta recognize when the HB is into you and is trying to qualify herself but can't vs. her not actually trying. Like everything else this takes FE

nForce
03-17-2006, 11:57 AM
Another thing guys, if I ask a girl like last night 'name 3 qualities about yourself, what would they be? and they cant be about your looks or something you do!' and she tries really really hard and spends ages trying her best to think of some, is this just her wanting to answering the question, or can you take it that shes really into you?

Dr. Zeus
03-17-2006, 12:47 PM
Always assume she's into you and just isn't able to think of an answer. "It's always on."
And asking a girl to name all the interesting stuff about herself is a very generalized question. So if she's having trouble, move into something more specific.
If she's taking too long, look at your watch. Yawn. Rub you eyes. Say, "OK, let me give you some help here. If I were your boyfriend..." Pause, look at her like you're not buying the idea either. "I know it's hard to imagine. You're not even my type. But if I were your boyfriend, at home and sick, would you bring me canned or homemade soup?"

obie
03-17-2006, 01:06 PM
Always assume she's into you and just isn't able to think of an answer. "It's always on."
You need to calibrate whether to stack into a DHV routine between qualification or continue qualifying. Just assuming that "it's on" will lead you to continue qualifying. If she legit isn't ready b/c you haven't built up enough value, qualifying further will build up negative compliance momentum on her part which is NO good.
OTOH if you go back and DHV unnecessarily you are at the least wasting time and at worst making it harder for her to qualify herself later by pumping your own value too much.

nForce
03-18-2006, 05:22 AM
So obie if a girl is trying REALLY hard to qualify herself then you can pretty much take it that 'its on, shes really into me'?

Rain
03-18-2006, 12:05 PM
Just wanted to mention that each time you re-type the question, you leave out a very important part.
"...that would make me want to get to know you better..."
I'm assuming you're just being brief while typing, and not actually leaving that part out. If you ARE leaving that part out, no wonder the girl is having difficulty.
And why are you qualifying if you aren't certain about her interest? Her answer to your qualifier is not meant to be an IOI. You should have received at least three IOIs already, hopefully more. Then you qualify in order to find reasons to be attracted to her. If you can't get her to answer in a favorable way, you don't get to be interested in her.
I'm guessing you are telegraphing interest early and that's why she's having trouble answering. She knows you like her, and is concerned about where her answers will lead you. If this situation comes up again, IOD, DHV, wait for IOI, QUALIFY, SOI.

obie
03-18-2006, 01:24 PM
Rain, I have started deliberately testing for IOIs instead ofjust waiting for them, and more experienced members have told me that it's not really necessary to wait for IOIs to begin qualifying, provided the girl really is trying to win you over with her answers.
I find that it's easier to throw hoops and let her decide when to jump than to chill out and wait for an IOI that you may not see, or may not be obvious.
nForce, that was my question a while back. Is jumping hoops and answering qualification questions seriously, enough of an IOI that "it's on"... experienced members told me yes.
It's like when you get opened, all you need as a guideline is a neg and then qualification... if she starts qualifying herself, "it's on."

Rain
03-18-2006, 03:17 PM
You've got a great point Obie. But do you think nForce is an experienced PUA?
In order to learn and calibrate your game, nForce, it is best to stick to the linear progression of the M3 model. Pay close attention to A2. Make it last 15 minutes if you have to. Keep to the formula for now.
If a girl sticks around for 15 minutes, that in itself is an IOI. Go ahead and move to A3. But don't be afraid to go back to A2, if she's not qualifying.
Without IOIs, a girl who qualifies to you is just interested. Interested doesn't translate directly to sexual interest. IOIs indicate sexual interest.
Experienced PUAs know that you can move into A3 with a girl who is interested, because once they qualify, your kino escalation will turn their interest sexual.
Anyone else want to chime in on this?

obie
03-19-2006, 12:39 AM
I don't think I am an experienced PUA
lol.
Rain's post deserves its own thread.
Maybe I am misunderstanding something, but you don't really need sexual interest in A2 to further the sarge. All you really need is enough DHV to get the girl to begin investing in the interaction. I heard Mystery mention this somewhere, I think on the Approaching Women DYD product.
Once she begins to invest herself i.e. qualify and jump hoops + kino will build sexual interest...

Aequitas
03-19-2006, 10:18 AM
Cedar, that future projection stuff is @*#*@@ GOLD.

nForce
03-19-2006, 12:43 PM
I don't think I am an experienced PUA
lol.
Rain's post deserves its own thread.
Maybe I am misunderstanding something, but you don't really need sexual interest in A2 to further the sarge. All you really need is enough DHV to get the girl to begin investing in the interaction. I heard Mystery mention this somewhere, I think on the Approaching Women DYD product.
Once she begins to invest herself i.e. qualify and jump hoops + kino will build sexual interest...
Nice theory, whats pissing me off at the minute is remebering to game girls, I end up just talking to them, if you get me..

Rain
03-19-2006, 12:57 PM
Read Daddy's recent post, Daddy's breakthrough (http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6353)

obie
03-19-2006, 01:30 PM
Routines absolutely fucking work. 1000s of guys can testify to that fact. Not making an effort to invest in acquiring these tools is just silly.
I know some guys who tell me they don't want to use routines because they are such good conversationalists, and then bitch when numbers blur and they can't get solid attraction.
Makes me laugh.