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Madcat7
02-13-2008, 02:08 PM
Hey Guys, one, question, how do you handle the situation where you are "rejected" by a girl for the kiss even when you are sure (at least I think) she is interested in you.

To not make this too long, I've been dancing with this girl like 2 months, 1 time a week... (we take salsa classes together) and she eagerly comes to my place for the pretext of "practicing" our dancing moves.
You know, kino escalationg while dancing in couple can go very fast and yesterday when she was at my place, we were dancing, then I just stopped, looked her right into the eyes (I see her pupils where really dilated, at least I imagine she isn't like that all day long) and went for the kiss but she didn't move, like saying what are you doing, the she told me she's sorry (like that "I don't want to hurt your feelings..." crap) she wasn't expecting that.

I just said that when I feel something, I just do it, so if I just felt like kissing her.. that's the reason why I went for the kiss when she was less expecting her (when in reality I passed quite a few opportunities going for the kiss). Anyways I told her I was just curious about her, acting like if the "rejection" didn't affect at all and that I just wanted to see where this goes. She seemed happy to hear that but, well I don't know where it will go.

Anyways, my question is your advice here:

Shall I call her and tell her that I'm sorry for making that move yesterday (don't want to sound AFC), that it wouldn't work between us to disqualify myself in an attempt of generating more attraction.

Or should I just don't call her and act like I did nothing last night and try to escalate again next dance class.


I won't act like a wussy and invite her to dinner or buy her something. I think this is falling in the LJBF zone but I'd like to know what's your take on that.

Thanks, ;)

M_Kay
02-13-2008, 02:16 PM
Don't even think about saying sorry to her for your actions. You're a guy and basically you wanna reproduce and you shouldn't apologize for that.

If I was you, I wouldn't call, let things carry on the they are and just try and escalate attraction whenever you come across her yet.


Don't mention what happened at all, and just act like she loves you when she's around. That'll get her really confused and we know what that leads to.

Mk

Gillette
02-13-2008, 06:30 PM
You don't necessarily have to apologize for it, but if things progress, it'll probably come up again.

I personally had something similar happen where I went in the for the kiss but didn't get it. I was kind of frustrated but we stayed in contact and I kept running game and when she brought the issue up, I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable but I made it very clear that I wasn't apologizing for the action. I said something like "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, but I don't apologize for the kiss. I'm a man and I'm attracted to beautiful. That's just who I am."

This situation sounds more like she thought you had already befriended her. If you guys had hung out at your place more than once, you probably should've escalated and gone for the kiss the FIRST time she was there. If you don't, then she might start thinking that you're not really interested in her or something that'll be basically you putting YOURSELF into the LJBF zone.

My personal rule is, if a girl comes back to my place, that's a major, Major, MAJOR IOI and I have to go for a kiss at the very least but usually it's a lot more.

Renagade
02-14-2008, 11:38 AM
My personal rule is, if a girl comes back to my place, that's a major, Major, MAJOR IOI and I have to go for a kiss at the very least but usually it's a lot more.

I will have to remember this, I've been on the wall myself, I'm still in just attraction, but I'm not really trying to move up. I don't really care about the sex as much most the time, I'm just trying to be a fun socialble guy who is enjoying time with people in college. I say just don't go nuts. I try and talk to everyone, its funny, I see some, I strike up a conversation, even if only 5 6 sentences long, I see them a few days later and its like hey you fucking guy in the parking lot, whats up? lol.

Back on topic though, I actually had only known a girl for one class, had walked with her to her next with a friend of mine, [not to far from my own building] but after he left, I said goodbye, went in for a kiss when she went in for a hug, whoa, ackward, lol. I didn't realise it till about 30 seconds later, I didn't tell her to kiss me I just did it, whoops, thats not how you do it. When I said goodbye she said "OK" I was sweating bullets for a few hours, Should I apologise or not. I decided to go with M_kay's approach, I wouldn't say anything, and if she brought it up I would say that I a sorry, I usually just kiss any girl I know when saying goodbye, and if she has a problem its cool. Its says I'm usually with girls :). Next class, she was with me and I was saying goodbye to someone, she basically said, say goodbye like you do, and she was smiling, no spite, funny :).

Hope that helps. - DON'T SAY SORRY.

Madcat7
02-14-2008, 12:37 PM
Thanks guys, that's why I love this forum.

I won't say sorry to her, I won't apologize for being a man like DD says, but the approach of Gillette seems interesting: Don't apologize for the action, only for making her unconfortable... only if the topic arises again. As I imagine, the topic will not arise when I'm with her unless I speak about it, what I won't so I'll continue to act as if nothing had happened and try to escalate again next time I see her. The problem is I see her only for dance classes once a week and if I invite her again to my place, well, you know, she will know what my intentions are, I don't want that to be so obvious.

Do you think I should wait till the next class to escalate again after 1 week?
Or call tell her that I want to practice again?
Or just say to her I need to speak with her...

Damm, too many questions, I must stop thinking too much...:)
Thanks for the advice

wierdmtg13
02-14-2008, 04:17 PM
i'd call her to practice again. the thing with dancing is that because of the high amounts of kino its easy to misinterpret. dancing requires kino. i think you should've done a few things differently on the kiss, which you can try the next time if you do.

first off, i'd call her to practice again so it wont be awk in class. and in class DO NOT make it awk. make sure to keep a smile on and be yourself. dont let this hang over your head, especially not in class. the thing with kiss rejections is that she may not be expecting it and may not be ready. in dancing i like to escalate into next kissing while doing salsa. then if you go for the close make sure to do this little preroutine - put your finger tips above her forhead, touching her hair, and make a "C" shape down the side of her face down to the chin. twist your fingers forward and pull her in gently- going 90% and let her go the next 10%. make sure to be the first one to pull out. push her off and be like, ok shows over, lets get back to business - practice. that way you are in control and leave her wanting more. then you are set to go. dancing with a cute girl that is now, if already wasnt, attracted to you and you can take it from there.

good luck =)

Madcat7
02-14-2008, 04:41 PM
Thanks man!

I forgot that little routine you learn on the Pick up artist show...., I've got to do this next time we dance in private ;)

Strife10
02-14-2008, 08:32 PM
That's also a perfect opportunity for a freeze out. Just say "I totally respect that. It's cool if you don't want to it just seemed like something on your mind." Then say "I'm going to go check my e-mail real fast or myspace or something. It'll get her to realize that 1) you're cool with it and 2) you have other shit to do besides kissing her, her rejecting you puts her in control, you freeze out to get that control back.