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View Full Version : Defeat Jealousy- A great mindset



Bubs
01-2008-16, 06:20 PM
This was inspired by a girl with a simple quote on David DeAngelo's series.

It plagues most of us, destroys many of us, and makes few of us live a life where the only company we have are our pets and the brief visits from mister postie.

Why do we indulge in jealousy? Jealousy can be the greatest of motivators if you're a person who loves a challenge. It'll propel you into actually doing something rather than wishing on your shoulda woulda coulda's.

For a lot of us, jealousy is pure and simply a defence mechanism- usually taken up by the vulnerable masses who have been previously scorned and don't want their hearts ripped out and stepped on because they trusted them.

In a sense, even as a defence it still acts as motivation. It's amazing how many girls can even give Sherlock Holmes a run for his money when they even get a hint that their loved one is cheating on them. I'm pretty sure every e-mail account in the world can be hacked by such driven women if they really put their minds to it. Who needs special agents? Women can be so covert when they plan on taking a quick peep at your mobile phone to check on your last texts and digits.

The question of trust should not be shunned into the face of everything with a penis. Women cheat aswell, but for some reason that is hardly ever questioned. A man can be knocking boots and pretending he's out with the lads, thinking he's onto the dream life- but what he doesn't know is that his girlfriend is probably shagging his best friend or his brother (ahhh, the reality of taboo)

So the air of suspicion should not be resigned to half the population. What concerns me is that people can't relax into their relationship and trust. And why should they? Infidelity is always on the cards. In the ever increasing rise of porn and the cyber sex world, people still have reason to be jealous over that. Although, if you're getting real sex at home and you're still whacking off over your desktop wallpaper- you need to reevaluate your sexual needs.

Listen- you are not, and should not be the centre of the other persons world. There is a HUGE difference between attraction and commitment. A person can look at the menu but not order. A person can oogle the member of the opposite sex and still come home to fuck…sorry….make love to you.

Jealousy is more of an inferiority complex and selfish act anyway. It's a way of saying, "I don't want to look like a fool. I don't want to be hurt. I fear they like somebody better than me."
They're all justifiable reasons for jealousy, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

The jealousy increases when there is more of an investment.
Ie- having kids, living in a house together, intense emotions and comfort, "we've been in a relationship for 5yrs, it'd be a shame to waste that now". …which makes it ever increasingly difficult for a woman because she feels she needs a man in her life, a provider. Can she make it in the world on her own?

But without jealousy, would we feel that the other person doesn't care?
"Honey, I'm just off out."
"Okay sweetie"
(why does she never wonder where I'm going? She never asks where I go. Doesn't she care?)

It's a terrible game to get into. And how lenient can you be on the terms of honesty and trust, lies and deceit, protecting them and protecting yourself and your emotional investment?

It can be argued from dawn till dusk. You know in your heart of hearts what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't, and what will trigger off the feeling we linguistically categorise as jealousy.

But the more locks you put on your doors, the more closed in and separate you really are.
A relationship means you RE-LATE to your other. It's a partnership. A dance with each others souls- if you want to go all spiritual and paranormal.

You handle jealousy by embracing the fact that attraction does not mean action. I can be attracted to the new craftmatic adjustable bed, but I am still going to be loyal to my trusty bed that has comforted me for many a nights………and because I can't afford one.

Accept that you are not the centre of that persons world. We're all out for ourselves, we only want to bring others onto our ride and share our lives with them. Paths may stray, and by being a stronger person mentally and emotionally- you're adding value to their life aswell.
It's a win-win situation when you think of it like that.

Which explains the mantra:

I want you in my life….but I don't need you.

Vulture629
01-2008-16, 06:25 PM
I fear they like somebody better than me.
Key word = Fear.
And Fear + Jealousy = Paranoia. Jealousy is alright when measuring your results to others, and then aiming to perform like they do. I do this in Bowling a lot cuz I want to get better.

Its when you are afraid you WON'T perform like the other guy is where the bad jealousy kicks in. And its more paranoia than jealousy IMO.

But still jealous ppl in relationships need to get help.

Bubs
01-2008-16, 06:32 PM
Cool man

So you're saying FEAR is the emotion that can lead to JEALOUSY?

I can agree with that. Like, those who are superior....fear a newbie who is getting applause will take them over- so their fear turns to jealousy...and they express that in anger, "grrr, i can do better, mwuahaha"

Totally agree.
nice add :-)

Nemisis
01-2008-16, 09:34 PM
Study the Spartans.
Jealousy is a result of cultural conditioning purely and simply.

These guys lived in a culture where husbands would not only condone their wives fucking other men but actually persuaded them to.
They never experienced jealousy because their societal maps of reality didn't allow for it.

So change your map, realize its a long and deeply conditioned expectation of how things are suppose to be.
But expectations are not reality.

silverghost
01-2008-17, 09:23 AM
Always be excellent, always be different, always be FRIGGIN AMAZING in bed, never be predictable. After these you wont ever get jealous because simply its rare to find someone thats better than you and ofcourse a girl that is satisfied in bed wont lose u to go and fuck some other guy that she doesnt know is he ll be any good.