PDA

View Full Version : Having real standards



b0bhawke
01-2008-15, 06:53 AM
All the best PUAs urge us to have real standards when chatting up girls.

We do this by finding out something "interesting" about them in A3 and then qualify them on it. That is not a real standard.

Or sometimes we think of a desirable quality for a girl to have and frame a question around it, making sure that it can only be answered positively. That is not a real standard.

Having real standards means you actually will walk away from a girl if you find that she isnt to your liking.

The whole A3 phase seems fairly artificial to me. It wouldn't be there if you actually clicked well with the other person (Or it would, just not in a form familiar to us).

I have tried the normal A3 stuff several times and it just doesnt feel natural. This is not the way two people who are genuinely made for each other would "qualify" the other person. It would be subtle, implicit, and probably very difficult to create without genuinely being very much into the other person.

Also, I am baffled how PUAs can spend 4-10 hours in the comfort zone with someone that they are not comfortable with. Sure you may have worked hard to make sure she is comfortable, but what about you? I think that 4-10 hours of comfort would take a hell of a lot of material, which you will probably need if you dont actually click to tell with that person, and would be very difficult to fake.

Why isn't there more willingness to walk away from the girl if she doesnt meet your standards?

Ajny thoughts/comments would be appreciated

sevant
01-2008-16, 03:27 PM
What are you an AFC?:D

Good post IMO




I have tried the normal A3 stuff several times and it just doesnt feel natural. This is not the way two people who are genuinely made for each other would "qualify" the other person. It would be subtle, implicit, and probably very difficult to create without genuinely being very much into the other person.

That's what it was like for me. So I would throw out all the fake interest and go into what was really attractive to me. It's more of a turn on anyway.

Also, I am baffled how PUAs can spend 4-10 hours in the comfort zone with someone that they are not comfortable with. Sure you may have worked hard to make sure she is comfortable, but what about you? I think that 4-10 hours of comfort would take a hell of a lot of material, which you will probably need if you dont actually click to tell with that person, and would be very difficult to fake.




Only thing is chances are the woman is going expose some personality flaws. But personally if I think she is an attractive person I will work on some comfort.

sevant
01-2008-16, 03:30 PM
That's what it was like for me. So I would throw out all the fake interest and go into what was really attractive to me. It's more of a turn on anyway.

^Sorry these were my words

pfb03
01-2008-16, 04:06 PM
That's a really good, genuine, relevant point you have brought up, and I think it depends somwhat on your position on game.

Mine is to improve myself and practice until the one I really like comes along. Its just a necessary part of the psychological evolution of a sexual relationship that must be done, or the next step cannot be taken.

Everyone has standards, but as you progress through the game, you are growing as a person - how could you not right. As such, your standards and desires will grow and change, and what you want in a girl will be different, but you would never be able to get to that point unless you go through the process with girls, and part of that process is the fake qualification and progression through the m3 model with girls.

You could by all means only 'dance' with girls you genuinely click with, but how many girls you meet does that happen with? How would your physiology and mentality cope with a 1 in 100 girl you click with without having gone through the steps with girls you just practiced on?

Without the 'dancing' with the girls you dont really give a shizwiz about to practice, aclimate your body and mind, get used to the m3 model, become increadibly sociable, become a stronger person, and knowing yourself better etc, the process of becoming a 'PUA' (inverted commas cos it's only a label and state of mind, nothing real) would be rediculously slow process to the point of standing still.

That's why the qualification is false and lame; cos it's necessary, without it she would'nt feel qualified and progress would halt.

Your question about spending time with girls who you dont feel comfortable with makes me think your understanding just needs expanding. When you progress through the game, you will change like I said earlier, and when you develop, your comfort bounderies will expand dramatically just because of the process and the juice you get from sarging and 'dancing' with girls who you use lame and false qualification with.

You wont feel uncomfortable around these girls because you will just feel naturally comfortable. Reading that back, I doubt it will make much sense, but I dont know how to put it. You will just feel so comfortable in your own skin, that if Anyone is going to feel uncomfortable, it'll be the guy standing at the other end of the coffee counter cos he will be so confused as to how you got such a gorgeous girl, and She is the one who looks nervous around you. You will feel comfortable almost anywhere from going through this process. You will never have to worry about going to meet someone or about starting a new job or about being called in to see your boss cos your so comfortable living in the world that you will be in actuall physical pain...maybe not, but you get the idea.

This is all just my oppinion and I hope it not only helps, but that you dont feel the need to pick holes in it just because you want to take a position against it.

b0bhawke
01-2008-16, 04:43 PM
I don't want to pick holes. I just want to see other people's opinion on this. And offer my own. Then perhaps we can all learn something :)

I think it is necessary and useful to "train" A1 and A2 - I think the things that you do and say in this part of the pick up are both very important and highly conter-intuitive to most men(well at least me). Also, it is very easy to train as you dont have to invest that much time or effort.

However, I don't think comfort onwards needs to be trained (again speaking only for myself). Perhaps if you wanted to get better at having sex then you might want to practice comfort but apart from that I dont see any reason to - when you do find a girl you really like, comfort will be effortless. I say this having been in the comfort phase with many girls who I didn't particularly like, and also with a girl I met 6 months ago who I get on amazingly well with. With the crap girls I actually didnt want to hang out with them, and had no motivation to have sex with them beyond acquiring bragging rights to my friends(That is not to say that I felt uncomfortable. I'm actually reasonably good at comfort. It's just that they gave me no reason to want to pursue them further). With the other girl I really enjoy talking to her, and I practically want to fuck her every second of the day. It really is so easy and effortless to talk to her, and has been from the moment I approcahed her.

I read something a long time ago which made the point that you should practice everything so it all works when you eventually do meet the right girl. However, I think this only applies to certain parts of the pick up. It certainly does not apply (at least in my opinion) to the relationship stage. It would be far too time consuming and painful to maintain a relationship with a girl you dont like much just for practice. But I go further than this and say that there is no need to practice beyond comfort. Training A1 and A2 gave me some insight into the workings of the female mind - enough, I think, to have a pretty good idea of how to handle whatever comes next.

Again, thoughts/comments appreciated

ringleader
01-2008-20, 11:07 AM
I think if you haven't had many relationships or been with many girls, you're not going to have many standards. Standards come when you've been with someone and been unhappy and thus recognized something you DON'T like.

I don't know how many girls you have been with, so I may be off base. However for me, I learn something new I don't like from every girl I'm with. So for the next girl, it will be one of the first things I'll check.

This goes hand in hand with being a high status male. The act of qualifying the girl based on your standards will be congruent with having been with a lot of girls, which may be why it's universally attractive to women.

Just a thought,
Ringleader

derek817
01-2008-20, 07:14 PM
in response two people are genuely made for each other....i don't know about you but i don't belive in love at age 18....lol far from it love is around late 20's early 30's. maybe mid 20's. a girl will think o..i showed him ioi and he automatically liked me that just so fake i know what he wants he didn't really want anything from me...get to no me so if you don't want to do A3 don't but your most likely doing it not subtly enough. it could just be a screen frame and getting to know the girl and most girl when you get to know them their cool. so mention you lik what you fine cool in them and boom your done wit A3.

derek817
01-2008-20, 07:19 PM
in comfort i turn off my game...if there is a interrupting i turn it on again....but that doesn't mean disregard it it just means that comfort is and should be you just being you....how can someone not genuinely like you? they can't people don't like people when there low value...but your not in A1 your in comfort so keep the comfort portion in the back of your mind let it be their but...being able to do comfort should be more natural then TMM.