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Lost Prophet
01-14-2008, 05:11 AM
A HB that I would like to still see at home and in the past has made it clear she wants to be with me has flaked on me twice (Genuine reasons tho!!). First reason being her mum had to take her to hospital straight from work. She was going to rush the visit to come see me but I said no, stay there. The second was the same relative who is seriously ill was in hospital still with her bf and my HB was babysitting for them. when HB asked her relatives bf what time he would be back he asked her to stay till 9.30.

The HB would be pretty sick to lie about what she has told so I believe her... last night she was asking me what time I was going for her and what we was guna do, then I got a text saying 'your going to go mad, my cousins bf has asked me to stay till 9.30 so he can be with my cousin in hospital for longer, im sooooo sorry :-( x'. I was a bit pissed off but didnt let it show by texting back with 'why would i be mad. guess i'll see you around. enjoy your night x'.

Ive just gone to uni again and will be here for 2 weeks. what would you guys do with contacting the HB again?? I was considering just dropping all contact and doing a kind of take-away but im thinking this isn't appropriate as she had genuine reasons. Should I carry on as normal with her? We are usually in contact loads and this HB seems to plain and simply want me ;)

Cheers

LoveCharm
01-14-2008, 06:49 AM
Wait for her to get in contact with you. Also saying "why would i be mad. GUESS ILL SEE YOU AROUND. Enjoy your night x" to me that indicates you ARE pissed off and this might lower your value. Personally, i would have replied nicely but never got in contact with her till she has with me. But that's in the past now. I'd tell definitely wait to see what she says, then i'd know where i stand while maintaining a bit of frame.

Lost Prophet
01-14-2008, 07:25 AM
I guess it does come across as that. the intention was to just say what is actually guna happen though as I wont see her for two weeks at least. Im not as bothered about this HB as I once was but i'll have to see I guess

Cheers

mikemuldowney
01-14-2008, 07:32 AM
i go with the one call one text rule, after that they come out of the rotation, then if they do try to contact you you will have to genuinly have to ask 'who it is" if they contact you. take with a hidden neg land mind if they want to tread in that area again. the other thing i do is say hey lets just communicate through e mail, seems like you are tough to get together with, this is like a take away with a slight neg underneath, showing you really do give a dam if she is a part of ur life, if she makes an effort from there u got a strong ioi and a reason to beleive all of the excuses she gave u in the first place for not getting together

Lost Prophet
01-14-2008, 08:15 AM
i go with the one call one text rule, after that they come out of the rotation, then if they do try to contact you you will have to genuinly have to ask 'who it is" if they contact you. take with a hidden neg land mind if they want to tread in that area again. the other thing i do is say hey lets just communicate through e mail, seems like you are tough to get together with, this is like a take away with a slight neg underneath, showing you really do give a dam if she is a part of ur life, if she makes an effort from there u got a strong ioi and a reason to beleive all of the excuses she gave u in the first place for not getting together

Oh, contact isnt a problem with her at all. We're talking, messaging e-mail quite a lot... I just wasnt sure what to do with re-initiating contact based on last nights events... if her flakes had not been genuine I would of just deleted her number but last night I thought that I dont want to do that as the flakes have been due to an emergency. You can guarantee that if I message or ring her she will reply (providing she isnt working but then a reply will come later). With this HB I got to point where we both agreed that a relationship would be a good move, but it just never happened basically because of these emergencies and we didnt get a chance to get together before i left.

she doesnt seem to care if i screw up in game terms as i have in the past... but i just dont know what to say to her if i was to call or message her IF i dont decide to do a take-away. any ideas?

mikemuldowney
01-14-2008, 08:36 AM
if u speak w her again, move the frame to showing completly that ur life is kickin ass, socially spiritually, financially whatever, keep the pressure up in the higher value area, convey the higher value in the convo if u talk again hold it this sequence till she jumps or pulls back

silverghost
01-15-2008, 08:03 AM
Well I dont wanna be a deal breaker but mate even if u get into a relationship with this girl, u ll have problems meeting each other so I dont think you should continue. Just because a girl likes u and just because u like her doesnt mean this is the only thing that matters. If for example u were working all week from 9-5 and she was working from 5-12 when u d meet?
I guess its "next" time...

mikemuldowney
01-16-2008, 03:57 AM
indeed, but when do we draw the line. we know our schedlues and if a hb10 come through, we make adjustments, i guess what i mean is it shouldnt be that hard, threre is an ioi in true effort and i will see u a week from friday is not true effort in my opinion. if they want something they we to act like it.

Lost Prophet
01-24-2008, 02:12 AM
Just thought I would let you know about this.... i have to say that i had a little oneitis for this chick a while back which seems to be TOTALLY gone now that im in a relationship with the HB from uni :-D

BUT, I did the thing with the e-mail, I messaged her saying she should e-mail me if she is busy doing stuff... about 10 minutes later an e-mail comes through. although she said she hates e-mailing she e-mailed for the whole of that week and has now gone back onto phone. about a week n half ago i said that she should book the saturday off work so we can go out and she said ok. i didnt think anything of it and when i spoke to her recently i told her about my plans for the week-end. her response...
her: 'Is this the week-end that your coming home like'
me: 'yeah, we should get together and do something'
her: 'ok, arent you busy though all weekend? when are you going back?'
me: 'im sort of open to offers at the minute as nothing is solid as yet. im going back on monday though'
her: 'yeah, well sunday will be best'
me: 'ok, sunday it is then, what time you working?'
her: 'till 6, actually, i'll get saturday off instead'
me: 'even better, i'll go pub on sunday then to see the lads'

Here I started mentioning the HB that im in a relationship with, when she asked me how i was and what i had been upto i told her the truth, i told her where i had been (with the HB) but I hadnt said I was with her. whenever i did, she brought up her best mate (a guy) which i dont take as a threat (unlucky for her). but now, i have her eating out of my hand to an extent, rather than me going about arranging plans shes doing it all... dam im getting good :-P