View Full Version : He's so smart.

01-2008-12, 05:44 PM
Now bare with me on this. Last night I stopped at a bar after doing a magic show so I was dressed to perform so to speak. A girl complimented me on the outfit I was wearing and before I could really say much another guy next to me that I was talking to showed the girl my ceiling add that was almost directly above us (For those who have never seen ceiling adds some places do this. You pay them a small fee and they basically blow up your business card into one of the ceiling tiles). It has a picture of me kind of like my avatar and it says, "The award winning magic and comedy blah blah blah".

A little while later I ended up performing for a group at a table and I noticed the girl and her friend came over and joined the small crowd watching me perform. Her friend assisted me in one of the routines I performed.

After I was done I sat down with a group of friends and the girl came over and joined us. We got to talking and it was strange because we had a lot of the same interests. I wasn't gaming or using any routines here. Just talking honestly and I found that it was like a perfect Sarge. She's into theater. I perform on stage. Books were named that we both had read. We've been to some of the same places like shows in Vegas and a military base I once lived at for about a year and she lived there too when she was a kid and her father was in the service. We talked about how we both like art. I pulled out my cell phone and showed her a couple of pictures of some of my art work and to my amazement she showed me one that she made on her phone.

Then a topic came up that really surprised her. She didn't know I was deaf. It just never came up and with the music blasting I could probably hear better then her with my lip reading. She found out when the waitress brought me a drink and she signed "Thank you" to me when I gave her a tip. The know me at this bar so they often sign what few words they know in sign language. So she was like, "You know sign language?" That's when I told her I was deaf and at first she acted like I might just be exaggerating a sleight hearing loss. But I told her that I am almost completely deaf.

After we talked about that for a bit and I taught her a few words in sign language. I left to use the rest room and got caught up talking to a few friends. When I came back to the table she said, "You're so smart".

I know this post has taken a long time to finally get to the point I want to ask about but I felt I needed to explain the situation. When she said, "You're so smart" not only once but a few times. I didn't know what to say. I basically just said thank you. I know I could build the comment up or down. I don't know if it's modesty or what but it's just a hard comment to respond to. It's kind of a double edge sword because my mind starts to think is this pity? Is she just saying this because I'm deaf and do things people think deaf people can't do? If she didn't find out I was deaf would she have thought this? I know it had a lot to do with how many things we had in common but, "You're so smart" could be a pity comment and that's the last thing I want or need. That screams LJBF.

Any thoughts?

True Pimp
01-2008-12, 06:28 PM
Hmm mate I tried putting myself into her frame of mind and decided that she said "You're so smart" because she is genuinely amazed that you were able to overcome your handicap and live the life you want to live. I wouldn't interpret it as her LJBF'ing you just because of that one comment.

01-2008-13, 01:42 AM

As I read your post, I thought of two things, one, reading your previous posts, I remember you writing that you are deaf. So I was, wow, this guy is awesome that he can carry a conversation and hold his own. I was actually going to start searching your posts from before because I was confused if you had said you were completely deaf, or you could still listen to voice, etc. So when you stated in this post you told the girl you were actually deaf, I was like, wow nelly! the girl will think you are putting on a show. the number two thing I thought about is that, if you read one of my previous post, one of the girls I fell head over heels for, I never gamed her. And you state, you weren't gaming her or pulling lines. You were genuine. You were out there having fun and didn't think too much of the "game" when you were talking to her and she piqued your interest. So when she told you "you are smart", it caught you off guard. Because you were not in the "zone".

I will say, Kudos to you, ( i know you heard this before ) but I had a friend who was deaf, and it was impressive to see her and I will use the quotes loosely here "toy" with the guys who always hit on her.

I say that story because had we bumped into each other and you would have mentioned to me that you were deaf, I would have told you about my friend and how amazing it is that the handicap, if you will, doesn't hold either of you back.

I have to agree with True Pimp, she was probably blown away at you. That's why the comment. And I will add, the reason you are reading too much into it, is becuase you weren't gaming her. You two were genuine while you were chatting up a storm.

The real question is, did you get her number? Or made plans to see each other again?

Once again, becuase it has happened to me before, she caough you off guard with her comment, because you were genuine, not gaming her.


01-2008-13, 03:02 AM
Honestly, I just think she was genuinly impressed. I sure am. :)

Pony Boy
01-2008-13, 03:55 AM
her perspective changed once she found out you were deaf. this can be a bad or good thing...it's like meeting a couple of guys that you think are really cool...but then you find out they are homosexual...so then you start acting a bit differently. or finding out your parents aren't your birth parents because you were adopted...it kinda changes things.

there's no doubt that she's still into you...but there was a change in perspective when she found out you were deaf.

01-2008-14, 04:46 PM
Yes, I will see her again. We exchanged Emails and I told her about a public show I have coming up. She Emailed me about it and I told her I'd get her a ticket to the show.

I think Pony Boy hit close to what I have on my mind about it. The switch of interest after finding out about my deafness. I mean we were getting alone great before that but after that the comment about me being so smart just kept coming up. It was almost like anything I told her amazed her but before that the conversation was just moving along normally. It was almost like she couldn't get the fact that I'm deaf out of her mind after I told her.

I've run into girls, usually ugly ones, that are attracted to me and make the "I don't care if you're deaf" comments and it always turns me off. It's like they're trying to make themselves feel special that they have the heart to be with someone that has a "difference". I know that don't seem all that bad but when you're on the receiving end all that says is "This girl doesn't think I can do better." I'm not sure if I just explained my mind well enough but it's a hard feeling to describe. Basically it boils down to this. If I feel you pity me then get away from me. :)

Roberto - Your comment about the deaf girl toying with guys made me laugh. I've toyed with people too. Usually people that know me though. For instance not long ago I was at a bar and a guy I've known for a long time was talking to me and he leaned into talk into my ear. A lot of people do this in a loud room. Anyway, he was talking to me in my ear and of course I can't hear him if I can't see his face. But I just let him keep talking and I was nodding my head as if I was hearing him. You know, "Yea, OK, Yea". When he was done talking and backed away I just looked at him and smiled. Then it dawned on him and he was like, "What the fuck am I doing?". :)

Or when someone takes up a collection to put money in the juke box and come around to me. "I'll give you a dollar if you play a polka song for me". :)