View Full Version : just friends?

01-2008-06, 12:31 PM
There's a girl that i met about a month ago. She is in one of my classes. I worked the kino and we have great conversations and she has fun with me. She doesn't mind me putting my arm around her or hooking arms, and i tried the hand squeeze method and it worked(but we have not actually held hands yet). We talk on the phone several times a week and have hung out a couple of times. However, she is comfortable talking about guys who want to go out with her but she just wants to be friends with them. Sometimes i feel that we have a connection and attraction between us but other times its not there. I am also sure that she has not done much with guys and is prude. What does this mean?

01-2008-06, 01:05 PM
it can mean everything in the world.

if she is talking to you about how other guys want her, then she is testing you in a way, to see how you react. I had a girl once tell me "you are the first guy who had the balls to actualy come up to me, talk to me, ask for my number, call me, and ask me out without talking behind my back about how hot i am, because thats what all the other guys do."

01-2008-06, 01:38 PM
how should i react and what should i say when she brings up this topic

01-2008-06, 01:50 PM
Dont be jealous, is a good start. Show her that you have girls chasing you too. Indicate that you are into her??? and not just some friendly guy.

01-2008-06, 03:50 PM
this problem is a real thing she is experiencing right now. I know who this guy is but i am not friends with him. Can this still be a test even though it is true

01-2008-06, 04:19 PM
you really shouldent think about the other guy. lol. he doesnt exist. if she doesnt like him, then he is not there.

01-2008-06, 04:27 PM
alright thanks...if i land with this girl i owe you man

01-2008-06, 07:01 PM
Could mean a lot of things.

Maybe try a little push-pull. Escalate kino a little, and when she pulls back, pull back further. Punish her by turning away, getting distracted, etc.

Review your attraction switches, and consciously work on them. You might be focusing too much on comfort with her.

And you might be ljbf'd. But play the game right, and if it happens, heck, at least you'll know.

01-2008-06, 07:17 PM
I ran into this tonight actually ...

we were getting back to her place and she started talking about that sort of thing. "This guy likes me and I feel bad about it because I'm not into him" etc. I just said "Look, this is a talk for your girlfriends. I'm not your girlfriends." Then she presented a hoop ("get my jacket out of the backseat") and I said "Im not your bitch either. Im not your girlfriends or your bitch."

Of course this was in a joking tone. You can take that into a new conversation, such as as "you wouldnt respect me if I was your bitch or one of your girlfriends. You don't seriously look for guys who will bend over backwards for you do you? that is evil. I can see it now. You with your whip and some poor little skinny guy groveling at your feet ... how far am I from home? Is it too late?"

BTW, field tested. We are in comfort and its a situation that is similar to hpsuausa's. I had to leave early tonight because Iv got a class bright and early but when we first met next time I will start with Kino right away. A quick hug first thing, a point to my cheek for a kiss (to get her comfortable with puckering at me) then I go on with something else, leading the way ... push/pull


01-2008-06, 07:27 PM
if a girl calls you and asks what color and type of shirt she should get, is that a friend or an attraction signal?

01-2008-06, 07:29 PM
Its a test. Make up a color. Tell her a tube top. say I dont know "but I really like this one pair of pants ... you think it would fit me as a shirt?"

It all depends on how you answer the question. dont be needy and dont jump through her hoops (unless it is a legitimate question. Like, if you are a fashion designer)

01-2008-06, 07:36 PM
well i f'd that one up lol. i still have a lot to learn. hopefully somehow this works out

01-2008-06, 07:43 PM
not a big deal, fix it for next time and dont get stuck on it. You apparently already have some place in this girls head if she is asking you for fashion advice and one grain wont tip the scales. Just dont F up next time or you will be just a friend.

That pants thing I said is something I did a while back to get over approach anxiety. I picked up a teeny tiny shirt at the front of a store and I asked the first girl I saw if she thought it would fit me. Wait for a second ... no, as pants. Do you think this would fit me as pants. AND that line worked at 3 am at meijer with some drunk girls, haha, they were fun.