View Full Version : Having trouble getting a girl that is into me to meet up

01-2008-02, 07:53 PM
I met this girl and we talk/text pretty frequently but never hang out. We're both pretty busy but you can always make time. I know she's at least somewhat into me because she does more than just respond to my calls. For example I called her one night and I guess some things came up and she forgot to call that night so she texted me the next day apologizing for not calling back and explaining what happened. At the same time though, I can never get her to hang out. I usually just see what she's doing that day, should I plan out a couple days? Or should I give her some kind of ultimatum? I was thinking of telling her she seems like a cool girl and I would like to find out if my impression is correct , but it seems like neither of us can find time and that i'm not going to call anymore and she can call me when she gets some time. I don't really like this approach, something just seems off about it.

Any thoughts?

Eastern Digital
01-2008-02, 07:56 PM
She might just be busy. She may not be attracted to you, it's hard to tell.

01-2008-02, 08:22 PM
Dude girls cant act crazy for you one sec than totally withdrawn the next. This "GAME" is learning how to balance out our need for intimicay with someone elses need for intimicay.

What judges which way the system goes is when there is a match between the type of initimacy you offer with the one she desires. There not just one form of intimacy out there.

01-2008-02, 08:29 PM
have faith that it'l happen and the moons will align and you'll get her all to your self...

01-2008-02, 10:48 PM
Don't go for an ultimatum, just play it cool. You're both busy people and if she's responsive to you, that can be a sign of interest. If you start chasing after her or making demands, you'll just devalue yourself.

The best idea would be to probably schedule something a few days out, or even weeks depending on how active you two are and go from there. Even better, I'd drop the idea in conversation like, "My friends and I are doing this next Thursday...." and just leave it open. The more desperate you become to see her, the more you start acting like an AFC, and we know where that leads.

In the meanwhile, find someone else to spend your free time with so it doesn't seem like you're actively waiting for this girl to make "face to face" plans with you and you're not interesting/interested in other girls. That kind of tension (jealousy/competition) often resolves any question of if this one wants to be with you or not.

01-2008-03, 12:39 AM
How busy can she REALLY be? If she's into you she'll WANT to see you.

She could have a BF or it may be her ASD way of blowing you off but keeping you as an option. Don't be an option, be an opportunity and don't be afraid to walk off. Don't let her get too comfortable with this, or you for that matter.

How do the conversations go? Is there some sort of logistical problems?

True Pimp
01-2008-03, 03:05 AM
^the two posts above me (JudasSet and Colin), cover it pretty well. I just want to add that I often face the same situation, and it often helps to plan something out a few days ahead and let her know about it ahead of time. If she comes- great. If not, maybe try it one more time, and if that doesn't work, move on to the next and put her on the back back burner.

01-2008-03, 03:51 AM
I ll make the devil's advocate here but say u do go out. Say you do hook up. If she is always busy, what kind of relationship are you after with a girl that is always busy? (based on what u say).
Truth be said as Colin mentioned if a girl is into you she ll always find time.