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Scooter12
09-02-2007, 10:58 AM
So, last week I am introduced to this girl, we talk, bullshit, whatever then part ways. So maybe 3 times this week I saw her and it ends up being just me and her sitting outside talking. It started with things like, "come sit with me while I smoke this cigerette" or, "stay with me so I don't feel awkward" which I couldn't see as being bad things, at least she's pretty comfortable around me right? So last night it was, "come upstairs to this party with me" where there were a bunch of guys I don't get along with.. I went with, then later on " walk with me back to my dorm to get my camera" I conceded and went with even though it felt like a stretch that she was trying to escalate.

All that being said, I know I'm falling into her frame, jumping through her hoops when I do those things, but what can I say/do to respond? Saying no to some of these simple requests just seems like being a prick, not being alpha.

Jenner
09-02-2007, 11:07 AM
you're done
no real way to salvage this cuz youve basically been her lap dog the entire time
i could be wrong but i doubt it
imagine how wierd itd be if u said no now after all that
or it could be she wants you to bang her
who knows

Legion5
09-02-2007, 11:44 AM
So, last week I am introduced to this girl, we talk, bullshit, whatever then part ways. So maybe 3 times this week I saw her and it ends up being just me and her sitting outside talking. It started with things like, "come sit with me while I smoke this cigerette" or, "stay with me so I don't feel awkward" which I couldn't see as being bad things, at least she's pretty comfortable around me right? So last night it was, "come upstairs to this party with me" where there were a bunch of guys I don't get along with.. I went with, then later on " walk with me back to my dorm to get my camera" I conceded and went with even though it felt like a stretch that she was trying to escalate.

All that being said, I know I'm falling into her frame, jumping through her hoops when I do those things, but what can I say/do to respond? Saying no to some of these simple requests just seems like being a prick, not being alpha.

"Why don't we drive instead, you're paying for gas money" "why don't we take the bus instead, you're paying for my ticket".

"Why don't we also get eggplant salad and whiskey, you're getting my share, you'll love the stuff".

"Ok but when we get to my room you have to tidy it up"

Scooter12
09-02-2007, 05:06 PM
Alright guys, first.. I'm a college student and I like to drink, I like being drunk and will continue to do so no matter how many guru's say not to, no matter how much material I read saying otherwise. On top of that I will not be the creepy sober guy trying to hook up with drunk girls no matter how unsuccessful I have been in the past. That being said, who here can honestly say, while inebriated, that they would refuse an offer to go to a girl who you consider attractives room?

Also, to the point, I did not ask whether I have a chance with this girl, or what to do to get this specific girl, this is not a one-itis. I want to know how to react to a request of that sort, I felt like I had no response that would not completely blow her off, I would never post on here to ask how to react to a specific girl at any given time, I would rather know how to react situations I cannot handle so that I can handle any girl.

So, the question is, what do I say, how do I react when a girl asks me to go somewhere or do something with her that I really do not want to do?

thestudent
09-02-2007, 05:11 PM
Well, just my idea:

Start asking favors. Maybe, if she asks you to do something, retort along the lines of, "You know, I do all this stuff for you, what am I getting in return **grin**." Say it kind of playfully, yet suggestivly. Let her know your joking around, but plant the seed. Then just keep retorts like that going. "Your so demanding, gosh **grin**." Just small things like that, yeah?

It isn't a huge, "Look at me, I am Alpha, rawr." But, It is subtle, and strogn at the same time. Just make sure you don't say it in a "Wtf man?" kind of voice. That could just shut things down completely.

Just my musings. Hope you can get even just a little shred of help from it.

Jenner
09-02-2007, 05:25 PM
oh sorry i misread your post
legion is right
just turn it around somehow so shes doing things for u like he said

Legion5
09-02-2007, 05:55 PM
Alright guys, first.. I'm a college student and I like to drink, I like being drunk and will continue to do so no matter how many guru's say not to, no matter how much material I read saying otherwise. On top of that I will not be the creepy sober guy trying to hook up with drunk girls no matter how unsuccessful I have been in the past. That being said, who here can honestly say, while inebriated, that they would refuse an offer to go to a girl who you consider attractives room?

I noticed this post again, if she is sober it is often a shit test or a guilty pleasure for her to go and makeout with a guy which you get nothing out of. Other times it's an IOI but in all cases before C3 if it isn't like "let's go color" it should be refused.

If she is drunk she has Plausible Deniability and she KNOWS that you know that she knows that everyone knows... and the only result with that sort of lack of social responsibility is her going to hook up with you (Now I would recommend not drinking and refusing here but hey... whatever ONS is cool, though you didn't hear me say that).



Also, to the point, I did not ask whether I have a chance with this girl, or what to do to get this specific girl, this is not a one-itis. I want to know how to react to a request of that sort, I felt like I had no response that would not completely blow her off, I would never post on here to ask how to react to a specific girl at any given time, I would rather know how to react situations I cannot handle so that I can handle any girl. for some one with such a frame you need to be more aware of reframing or taking over frames or CT's in general.


So, the question is, what do I say, how do I react when a girl asks me to go somewhere or do something with her that I really do not want to do?

If you do not give girls compliance they will not hook up with you.

Likewise if they do not give you more compliance than this they will not hook up with you.

To be honest you could throw up the hoop of her agreeing that her idea was bad and doing something to replace it's function in the situation, like building comfort or moving to the C3 location, but this would ONLY work, if the situation was REASONABLE, because otherwise you would DLV for not having a sense of adventure.

As such based on your question I have to point out that I cannot answer it and instead you need to get a sense of adventure.

By reasonable I mean if she wants to hook up in an Anthrax Plant and you know what the location is and she doesn't.

To further elaborate, there is ALSO a different between a situation which you do not want to do under the current circumstances, and a situation which wouldn't work or would be DLV under all circumstances. For the later reffer to the above on replacing unreasonable situational functions. For the former simply change the circumstances like in my first post.

Furthermore all these posts have been about the normal positive girl compliance tests that are not shit tests (unless those you mentioned were done in A2, then they are) (though being a girl if she sees an opportunity to imbalance the compliance she will do it which again as above you need to watch out for).

Right so outside of Shit Tests, Positive Girl Compliance Tests, Partial Shit Tests which get attached to everything a girl says including positive compliance tests, Unreasonable Compliance Tests.

Besides these 3, the situation can also be none of the 3, and can in Fact be an IOD. I know based on what you said it was inappropriate to neg on them so they were not IOD's or shit tests, but this is to give you the full expansion on the sort of events your described from a girl.

Right. So if she says something like "hey let's get you kicked out of the club", that would be none of the 3 but in fact an IOD. Another example is "Hey let's make a pact not to hook up". As such treat this as any IOD taking everything into context.

I hope my 4 way divison helped.

kuraykillua
09-02-2007, 06:53 PM
You need to turn it around fast. Hate to say this but it's hard to change all of a sudden, it would help if you have someone to help you with, like an experienced friend or something.
-k

Hellcrypt
09-03-2007, 06:16 AM
Alright guys, first.. I'm a college student and I like to drink, I like being drunk and will continue to do so no matter how many guru's say not to, no matter how much material I read saying otherwise. On top of that I will not be the creepy sober guy trying to hook up with drunk girls no matter how unsuccessful I have been in the past. That being said, who here can honestly say, while inebriated, that they would refuse an offer to go to a girl who you consider attractives room?


No offense but you will not ever succeed with that kind of attitude. I am a college student and I don't drink, I still pick up chicks. You on the other hand need to justify your needy ass by drinking so you think you have a chance with chicks(kind of reminds me of the fat guy in Super Bad). I am not telling you to stop drinking, but the way you came out on this post made you sound like some asshole who thinks he is too good for any advice.

Anyway you are in her friends zone now and she sees you as a pushover. Just use her as a pivot for other girls and start being more cocky to her. If you think that would be rude, then you have not learned anything.

Scooter12
09-03-2007, 09:34 AM
I'm obviously here for advice, why would I be on this forum if I thought I was too good for advice. However, every person has things about them that will not change, I happen to think trying to pick up drunk girls when I am sober is a bad thing to do, does that mean I have a better chance if I am drunk? No, but it does mean that if I'm sober and a drunk girl comes on to me I will humor her and reject her advances.