View Full Version : Wow, just realized that I HAVE NO IDENTITY. Craaaap.

12-19-2005, 08:41 PM
I've spent the past week studying the Venusian Arts Handbook and finished it tonight. The stuff about grounding reality is near the end, so I only read over it tonight. I previously thought my reality was powerful, and I am happy being in my own skin. Basically, my inner game is rather solid, and my outward personality reflects this. However, it turns out that this is not the case. I have no true identity.
I CANNOT sum up who I am in one term as suggested (like "magician", "writer", or "public speaker"). I am a jack of some trades but a master at none. When I was young, I wanted to be a fighter pilot, an actor, a doctor, a dentist, a martial arts instructor, a rockstar, a professional soccer player... the list goes on. I went through a short phase of each. Right now, I am a university student of biotechnology, ready to graduate in 5 months. I currently enjoy a few hobbies... the venusian arts, fragrances ("colognes" to the public lingo), and music/guitar. These three things are basically what I spend my non-school/non-social free time studying and pursuing. I'm pretty easy-going in life.
However, a venusian artist cannot define his life entirely by the venusian arts. So scratch that off my list. I'm basically just a normal student who enjoys a few different things in phases. Although my personality is extraordinary and truly unique, my identity is NOT.
If I'm not passionate about something, how can I ever expect a woman to find me attractive specifically in THAT respect? Sure, I have other "attractive" qualities, but it is all incomplete without a proper grounded reality. Looks like I have some stuff that I need to think about in the next few months, as I will be graduating soon and will be out in the working world and living on my own within a year.
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any advice you might offer. :)

12-19-2005, 08:49 PM
You're a student talking a subject with more letters then the greek alphabet, play guitar and like playing with women. What part of that isn't and identity. Get into the music, get into your subject and love it. It sounds to me like your identity is pretty much completely defined there, whether you like it or not. Just embrace it. As long as you do, others will.

12-19-2005, 08:55 PM
Build your Grounding technique by the book...When I was little I wanted to be ____. Tell a story about it. Then as I got older thought I wanted to be a ____. Tell a story about that. In Highschool this happened that propelled me in this direction..(this should be a story). I've been going to university studying to ____ so that when I graduate in 5 months I can finally start pursuing ____. This is so important to me because_____....Then within the next 5 years I'm going to ______...because I feel that that would ultimately allow me to ____....
Do you feel me brother?

12-19-2005, 08:59 PM
Oh, it's DEFINITELY who I am right now, but I just cannot define it in a strong word that fully and wholly encompasses WHO I am. I actually do love my biotechnology, guitar, music, women, and parfums. Maybe I should be even MORE gung-ho about every single one of these... that sounds pretty manageable. I love who I am and I am very comfortable in my own skin.
I'm just a regular dude who enjoys a few things and has a lust for life. Doesn't sound nearly as attractive as summing it up in one word like "ROCKSTAR!" or "ACTOR!" or "TYCOON!", know what I mean?

12-19-2005, 09:02 PM
RODZILLA!!! That was very eloquently described there... I can't thank you enough for that. I was trying to adopt the reality grounding thing to my multi-faceted life but couldn't quite figure out how to factor in all the changes. The way the Handbook stated it, it seemed like it was easy to fill in the blanks ONLY if you had ONE huge thing you lusted for (in Mystery's case, it was magic and being a magician).
Thanks again for the superb answer and solidifying the last little piece of inner game I didn't know I was missing until half an hour ago. :D

12-19-2005, 09:06 PM
Next time I get to Ottawa, we're going Saring!
You ever get to Kenora?

12-19-2005, 09:06 PM
I didnt read all of this thread but I perused it. You need to get inner game. Figure out who you want to be, write some affirmations, set goals and acheieve them. As far as figuring out who you are, we cant really help you with that you have to know who you are and who you want to be.
You already have ideas, you listed some.
Write your afirmations, set your goals, and work to achieve them. You can do anything you put your mind to bro.

12-19-2005, 09:44 PM
We used to offer a 1-day seminar on identity building in Las Vegas with Mystery. Is there demand to bring this back? I know he'd love a break from teaching stripper game all the time ;)

12-19-2005, 10:50 PM
Rodzilla, I've never been to Kenora, but if I ever go THERE, we'll go sarging there too. :D
Fad3r, if you read my posts, you'd see that I basically have no issues with my inner game EXCEPT this one missing piece I never knew I was missing until I came across the grounding reality article. I'm pretty solid and my outward personality reflects that. I'm probably the most laid-back, indifferent, and apathetic guy anyone's ever met. It REALLY came in handy during my early days of approaching women.
Savoy, I had no idea you even took away the Mystery Identity Building program. I just assumed it was still being offered because it's still on the MysteryMethod.com website under "Specialty Programs". Personally, I think I'm good for now, but there may be other guys out there who realize they don't have a true identity and suddenly panic like I almost did earlier in this topic. :p :o

12-19-2005, 11:14 PM
it's not what you are. it's who you are. don't get lost in the myth of identity. notice in styles the game how he keeps his PUA identity apart from his public image as a writer. it's because he is neither of these things.

12-19-2005, 11:46 PM
I think that's one trouble with me, my friends (90% of which are female, by the way) know I generally love being social and being around women and flirting relentlessly with them. Being a flirty PUA is congruent with who I am inside. I don't keep my love for women or the game separate from everything else. I'm not Clark Kent keeping the Superman identity a secret... I AM living as Superman.

12-21-2005, 12:20 PM
So you think you have no identity... If you're anything like my age (20) you will be changing your identity a lot soon...
Anyways, meditation is the key (or one of the keys).
I know they (who? I dont remember) do these meditation sessions for like 3 days, 12 hours each day (or something like that) where you ask yourself questions. Some people take longer to find their answer, some people take shorter.
The point is that for you, you could ask yourself "Who am I?"
You will come to many conclusions about who you are. Your subconscious will give you hints. Maybe you will even see your past lives. Who you are is defined by your "inner game"... or just inside of yourself... not what is outside of yourself. Venusian arts. That is just what you do on the outside. Do you do it on the inside? I dont think so. But really, you will come to many conclusions. For every question you ask yourself, you will come up with 2 more questions. Eventually you should be able to boil it down to one answer though. Something that makes sense to you, and you alone. You could descibe it to someone else, but it would take a lot more than one phrase or sentence to explain it.
It will be painful, but if you want to know who you are (Right Now), this is one great way to find out and look beneath your skin at your core. It will most likely change over time to some degree. Just be willing to be whoever feels best to be if you do change.

01-03-2006, 06:36 AM
Hi guys. I'm glad Hysteria brought this up because I was going to start a thread about it. Sometimes when I ask myself "Who am I?" I have no idea what to answer. I read the Venusian arts book too, and it says that you are what you do regularly. I've had goals for a long time, well before I got into pick up (I got into Anthony Robbins, Napoleon Hill and Brian Tracy during my mid teens) and I don't think they clarify my sense of self or my personality.
I want to have my work published in major science jounals like Nature and Science; I want to have my own laboratory where I direct the research; I want to run my own business, say a small supermarket. I want to bench press 300 lbs. I want to squat 400 lbs. I want to read all the comics with my favourite superheroes in them. On the side, I'm interested in politics and current affairs and regularly campaign for the Conservative party. Those are my main goals/hobbies. I engage in activity that takes me closer to my goals every day, but how do they increase my sense of self? And how can I convey my goals/personality/identity in an interesting manner?
And what is the difference between identity and personality? Apologies to everyone but this has been driving me crazy!!!