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ImYoda
12-12-2006, 08:43 AM
How do you react to girls talking about Other guys? Should you try to reframe the other guy to make them seem like a chump or use amog tactics? Or should you just ignore the conversation?

Leslie
12-12-2006, 09:17 AM
Don't try to make them seem like chumps, it will make it look like the conversation gets to you, makes you jelous or uncomfortable. But don't ignore the conversation, if you can try to sneak into it - do it. Maybe they are shit-testing you, seeing how you react when they start talking about other guys. Don't get uncomfortable.

KevinW
12-12-2006, 11:48 AM
its a good question and bit awkward. one time i got two chicks to go on a date with me at a fine italian restaurant. i left alone for a few minutes, came back and they wouldnt shut up talking about "this guy"

i have to say, its awkward and uncomfortable. i think the best would be to engage yourself in the conversation, ask questions about the guy, how they know him, etc. and you kinda get the feel if they are attracted to him (usually they say if he has a gf).

once you are engaged in the conversation, you can slowly direct it to another topic. say "that guy" plays tennis, you bust out a cool story about tennis or sports, and now you are back in the spotlight.

generally, i hate it when im present and they start talking about some shit i cannot possibly relate (oh my god, i died my hair the other day and my sister added too much brown, blah blah).

i usually excuse myself, or completly distract them with a crazy story (with lots of unknowns). one that involves them asking lots of questions.

miaddict
12-12-2006, 12:08 PM
How do you react to girls talking about Other guys? Should you try to reframe the other guy to make them seem like a chump or use amog tactics? Or should you just ignore the conversation?

Girls talk about guys a lot. That's what they do, and we guys talk about girls a lot too[in other ways].

I have a lot of female friends. And many times, I go out with them, and the "guys' topic come up.

Do I shy from it? NO. If you ignore the conversation, you shut yourself from the conversation THEY are interested in. You want to be the odd man out?

Do you reframe the other guy? No for the reasons stated in the above poster.

I will not start asking about the other guy. It just shows that you may be suddenly gay or something.

What do I do? I participate in the conversation by giving them "the guy perspective"(not the whole truth of course, but bits of it that makes them nod in approval). Then you can ask about the guy. Some girls think they understand women (and some of them actually do understand men better than men understand women in general). You give them peek into a guy's world through your eyes... you're in the group and part of the women's club. It's not such a bad thing, really. You just dont need to wear make-up, speak in silly voices and act like a sissy.

Usually pay attention to what women talk about. Dont change it into something you want to talk about(unless there is a good reason to it). Sure, redirect the conversation when needed (and dont let it be all about fashion, shopping), but do not interrupt theirs just because you are in 'unknown' territory. Instead, admit you dont know about this topic and would like to hear their "opinion' or views. But make sure you relate and respond.

ImYoda
12-12-2006, 06:13 PM
Girls talk about guys a lot. That's what they do, and we guys talk about girls a lot too[in other ways].

I have a lot of female friends. And many times, I go out with them, and the "guys' topic come up.

Do I shy from it? NO. If you ignore the conversation, you shut yourself from the conversation THEY are interested in. You want to be the odd man out?

Do you reframe the other guy? No for the reasons stated in the above poster.

I will not start asking about the other guy. It just shows that you may be suddenly gay or something.

What do I do? I participate in the conversation by giving them "the guy perspective"(not the whole truth of course, but bits of it that makes them nod in approval). Then you can ask about the guy. Some girls think they understand women (and some of them actually do understand men better than men understand women in general). You give them peek into a guy's world through your eyes... you're in the group and part of the women's club. It's not such a bad thing, really. You just dont need to wear make-up, speak in silly voices and act like a sissy.

Usually pay attention to what women talk about. Dont change it into something you want to talk about(unless there is a good reason to it). Sure, redirect the conversation when needed (and dont let it be all about fashion, shopping), but do not interrupt theirs just because you are in 'unknown' territory. Instead, admit you dont know about this topic and would like to hear their "opinion' or views. But make sure you relate and respond.

Would I just in my "guy perspective" agree with them?

Like if one girl says: "Chris is soo cute, too bad he can't decide between mary and sue...

Me: yea, sometimes guys are like that, the inability to decide is probably rooted in insecurity though...

Sumthing like that?

Vincent Chase
12-13-2006, 12:47 PM
Why do you have to react at all?
I have no idea, why.


In any case, if you MUST react, react positively.

If you're in attraction:
"He is pretty cute, you should go talk to him."

If you're in comfort:
"He seems like a cool dude, we'll introduce ourselves in a bit."

MILF_Hunter
12-13-2006, 01:25 PM
This is a really good topic i think because ive had this situation a lot. I'll be with chix and they'll say something like "(insert name) is so hot, he's blah blah blah omg he's so hot blah blah" and im like 'yeah..well...what are you talking to me for if he's so great, why dont you go and fuck him'. This clearly wouldnt be the best answer, at least i dont think it would lol. Some people here have said to ignore it and not react. I dont know if anyone else finds the same thing but it really gets to me when they keep going on about it. Especially when you spend hours every week in the gym and they're talking about some skinny little bitch. The idea 'what sports does he play' she'll say 'tennis' or something..and then trying to change the topic to that is a pretty good idea i guess. I know one chick who's obsessed with some guy and this guy sux and she'll go on about him all the time to me. Often i just respond with "i think its pathetic how you can be so obsessed with 1 person". Anyone else got any ideas?

LoDit
12-13-2006, 01:53 PM
Girls talk about guys a lot. That's what they do, and we guys talk about girls a lot too[in other ways].

I have a lot of female friends. And many times, I go out with them, and the "guys' topic come up.

Do I shy from it? NO. If you ignore the conversation, you shut yourself from the conversation THEY are interested in. You want to be the odd man out?

Do you reframe the other guy? No for the reasons stated in the above poster.

I will not start asking about the other guy. It just shows that you may be suddenly gay or something.

What do I do? I participate in the conversation by giving them "the guy perspective"(not the whole truth of course, but bits of it that makes them nod in approval). Then you can ask about the guy. Some girls think they understand women (and some of them actually do understand men better than men understand women in general). You give them peek into a guy's world through your eyes... you're in the group and part of the women's club. It's not such a bad thing, really. You just dont need to wear make-up, speak in silly voices and act like a sissy.

Usually pay attention to what women talk about. Dont change it into something you want to talk about(unless there is a good reason to it). Sure, redirect the conversation when needed (and dont let it be all about fashion, shopping), but do not interrupt theirs just because you are in 'unknown' territory. Instead, admit you dont know about this topic and would like to hear their "opinion' or views. But make sure you relate and respond.

listen to this man, he knows exactly what he is talking about :cool:

ImYoda
12-13-2006, 04:47 PM
Yea, I understand that Miaddict and Chase's advice is best approach, but i needed something more specific, and was wanting for them to clarify.

Because to me, saying "yea he is kinda cute" would probably get me a couple of stares... And I understand the point is not to care enough about others opinions to react, but I would really Like something that can change the topic away from another guy.

Besides, If I just talk about how cool this guy is or agree that he is cute (lol, I still can't stand this one) dosen't that just reinforce his value?

It seems like if I am DHVing for him.

Rewok
12-13-2006, 05:22 PM
grow some nuts and experiment dude...

you make tons of threads of nothing but theoretical reactions to overlly specific topics that have already been covered

not one of these posts is going to get you laid, even if you quote it line for line.. do what fits YOUR frame

-Rewok

Vincent Chase
12-14-2006, 01:44 AM
Yea, I understand that Miaddict and Chase's advice is best approach, but i needed something more specific, and was wanting for them to clarify.

Because to me, saying "yea he is kinda cute" would probably get me a couple of stares... And I understand the point is not to care enough about others opinions to react, but I would really Like something that can change the topic away from another guy.

Besides, If I just talk about how cool this guy is or agree that he is cute (lol, I still can't stand this one) dosen't that just reinforce his value?

It seems like if I am DHVing for him.

You're uncomfortable saying: Yeah he's pretty cute. Whoa dude, unless i'm mistaken you lie women. That's just a guess. Now, what's the issue with saying something like that? You afraid it's going to turn you gay? You're suddenly NOT going to like women?

In any case. You're NOT saying: "Yeah he is cute." you should be saying: "Yeah he is cute, you should go talk to him."

You're giving her free range. She has the free will to go talk to him, she's not getting locked in. If it's JUST you and her, it's probably not that cool because now you're all alone, THEN if you go game other people the two of you are split, you're no longer in a set together. It's best when there is two or more women, then chat the other up while she's gone. IF she goes. Odds are she won't, unless she's a hoyden. BUT, IF she does go then talk with the rest of the set until she returns. If she brings the dude back, you can continue to run game and treat him like a regular obstacle, befriend him and ETC... It's the ultimate active disinterest.

If you're in comfort, you introduce MAY introduce him, you never have to, but you CAN. then all three of you befriend and then say: "We'll we got to jet. I've got a surprise for her." And bounce. Nothing lined up? Easy, when she asks what the surprise was you go: "I tricked you into leaving when there was no surprise. ...SURPRISE! Let's get some Ice Cream/Let's go in here/Do you hear that music? Lets check it out."


You're looking for a line to deflect the conversation away from that dude and start a new topic or possibly continue and old one. Well there probably are some, but I don't know any and I've got a news flash for you bro:
If you're keeping them interested and invested then their attention won't wander to another dude.

Something i do when their attention wanders to random shit though is snap near them and go "Shows over here, doll." aaaaand continue. It would probably work negatively (DLV) in this case, but you could give it a try, maybe follow up with a joke or something.

ImYoda
12-14-2006, 07:52 AM
grow some nuts and experiment dude...

you make tons of threads of nothing but theoretical reactions to overlly specific topics that have already been covered

not one of these posts is going to get you laid, even if you quote it line for line.. do what fits YOUR frame

-Rewok
They aren't theoretical. These are things that I encounter that are giving me trouble. So I am in the field.

@ Chase, I like the "why don't you go talk to him" reply. Does it have the same effect if I don't say "he's cute.. etc"?

I'm not a homaphobe, but some of the blonde HB's might take it literally.

Vincent Chase
12-15-2006, 12:21 AM
If you say, you should go talk to him it's like you're trying to get rid of her.

If you say, "I can see that, he's built pretty well/He is cute/I'd bang him (lol)/Dudes got style, that's for sure. You should go talk to him. It's like you're her guy friend that's looking out for her. Guy friends don't fuck lady friends, you're in the clear, you can continue gaming, later when you cum on her back she won't be thinking about you mentioning him being cute, she won't be thinking about him at all... unless you suck in bed, in which case she might wonder what sex with him might have been like... but guess what, SHE'S NOT HAVING SEX WITH HIM. She's is having sex with you.

ImYoda
12-15-2006, 11:42 PM
If you say, you should go talk to him it's like you're trying to get rid of her.

If you say, "I can see that, he's built pretty well/He is cute/I'd bang him (lol)/Dudes got style, that's for sure. You should go talk to him. It's like you're her guy friend that's looking out for her. Guy friends don't fuck lady friends, you're in the clear, you can continue gaming, later when you cum on her back she won't be thinking about you mentioning him being cute, she won't be thinking about him at all... unless you suck in bed, in which case she might wonder what sex with him might have been like... but guess what, SHE'S NOT HAVING SEX WITH HIM. She's is having sex with you.

If i seem like I'm trying to get rid of her, would that be considered active disinterest? Or would it be completely counter-producutive? Thanks for the pointers by the way, can't wait to try them in-field.

Silverfish
12-17-2006, 01:48 AM
Yoda, you love theory too much. More experimentation, less bitching to ppl for help with ur problems. U can't always know exactly wat to do in every situation, thats why u experiment. And if girls in ur set start talking about other guys that says something about u. Ur not holding their interest.