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View Full Version : Help with cock-blocking roommate!



Pastah
11-23-2006, 02:27 PM
Sorry if this is in the wrong forum, I'm new to this site. Feel free to move it where it should be. I just figured that it's safe here since I'm 19.
SO long story short, I met this girl and we're dating now. She lives with her parents, so sex at her place is pretty much out of the question.
I, on the other hand, live in a house with three guys my age, so we can do whatever we want here right? WRONG! One of my roommates (and his GF) have a history with the girl I'm dating (read: they hate her with a passion). Due to this, my roommate isn't even allowing her into the house.
My roommate's GF comes over all the time, has a key to the house, stays the night regularly and has a bunch of personal belongings here. Basically, she's moved in and doesn't pay rent. I guess my roommate has a little bit of power since his mom owns the house and is renting to all of us, but he doesn't have the power to refuse my GF from coming over!
Naturally, my GF and I are extremely pissed off (and horny). It's gotten to the point where I say to my GF "Fuck (my roommate), come over anyways!" and she doesn't want to come over. I can't live in a house where my own GF isn't welcome or comfortable coming over!
I've tried talking to my roommate and his GF about this a few times, and every time they both get really awkward and quiet. Nothing ever comes from our talks. The latest talk ended with "Let's talk about it later." I really want to just rip them to fucking shreds, but I'm pretty sure I would make both of them cry. (Ironically, my roommate is an AFC who happened to snag an awesome GF...)
So what can I do!? I want to remain friends with this guy, but friends don't let friends cockblock! Any advice would be very much appreciated.
Oh, and did I mention that this girl is the hottest girl I've ever met and I'm a virgin? Yeah, talk about when it rains it pours :(

PaulB007
11-23-2006, 07:34 PM
If you are 19 you are probably working. Rent a cheap hotel room for the night, thats what I reccomend to you.

Greg House
11-23-2006, 08:26 PM
Do you have a car?

Jonnyco
11-23-2006, 08:43 PM
I agree rent a hotel room for the night, or also ask another friend to stay at their house for a couple of days or something because your real friends will help if they know you need it!

SeraphicWing
11-24-2006, 01:09 AM
They arent a friend to me if they cockblock u, I dont care what the situation is cockblocking is unacceptable.
I'd say check out motel6 aswell.

Pastah
11-25-2006, 12:22 AM
If I brought up the idea of a motel 6 she would just think I'm using her for sex. The issue isn't so much the not having sex, but the fact that I can't even bring her over to hang out. I just want her to be able to hang out with my friends without being ignored or made fun of. My friends are so fucking highschool.

Rewok
11-26-2006, 03:16 PM
I will say this again and again I am afraid, re-frame yourself. This is your house just as much as his. You pay the bills. You pay the utillities. You pay the half he needs to still have a place to live.
Tell him youre haveing her over because she's your gf. He doesnt have to talk to her, and if he doesnt like it, then his gf can stop coming over as well. Even go as far as to tell him that if he doesnt want her in the room, then youll fuck on the (hopefully communal) couch, or that youll just do it with him in the room. Youve respected his wishes, now it's time for him to respect yours.
Its all about how strong of a person you are. Never be a bully, but never be bullied either. Youll be fine. Good luck.
-Rewok

Ringer
11-26-2006, 03:57 PM
Second what Rewok says.
This guy's behaviour is unnacceptable. He certainly is not behaving like any 'friend' should.
Point out to him that you aren't going to stop seeing this girl, that she is important to you (basically what you have said before), but he is too and you don't want this to come between you and him as friends. But the fact is, she is your girl and she is going to be coming over. So ask him what his reservations are. Ask him for his concerns, and remind him that you have been nothing but accommodating to his girl. Be firm but fair.
Really, the key to winning any argument is to make the other person feel like you are agreeing with them, when in reality they are actually agreeing with you.
So be strong, but don't mention a 'choice' between him and your girl. It's not quite ultimatum time yet. Explain that his behaviour is hurtful to your gf and ergo, hurtful to you too.
If he starts crying, fuck him, its because he knows he's in the wrong.

AbsentFriend
11-26-2006, 04:08 PM
You both pay rent so you should both get to decide who gets a key to the house and you're both free to invite your girlfriends over. She doesnt pay so her opinion doesnt even matter, if she's not happy take her key back and tell her to go fuck herself.
This is about getting some respect. Don't let some loser AFC and his GF ruin something for you and your girl. If they really dont get it, start being a complete fucking asshole to them. Your roomate being AFC will panick that his relationship is going to shit because of you and he'll leave your girl alone.

Pastah
11-27-2006, 09:45 PM
I already tried what Rewok suggested. My 'friend' offered a "compromise": he will pay for my rent for the winter term so I don't need to find a sublet... in exchange for her to never come over. I told him that that was fucking unacceptable, and that I'm having her over anyways. That shook him up.
Problem is, she doesn't want to come over when she's not welcome. He's never going to welcome her into the house, so basically I'm fucked. Actually... no, I'm not fucked.
In fact, she is being really stupid about this situation. She doesn't think that I care, or that I'm trying hard enough to get her into the house.
I sacrificed two friendships, isolated myself from my friends to some degree, and turned down a free $2000 for her.
We went out to a hypnotist show tonight, and all she did was ignore me, talk to other people, listen to her fucking iPod while I was trying to talk to her... and she still thinks I'm the one who isn't trying. I want to talk to her in person and I hinted at her to come over to the house and talk, regardless of my fucking roommate, but she didn't quite get the hint.
Oh, and as for being an asshole to my roommate and his gf, I'm already there.

AbsentFriend
11-28-2006, 01:57 AM
Your roomate and his girlfriend are childs. Act like one too. Make her feel unwelcomed. Throw water at her anytime she comes over until she leaves.

Rewok
11-28-2006, 09:49 AM
wow dude.
the girl sound like a dike. you PUNISH behavior like that. you now express active disinterest in her when youre with her, untill she asks whats with you, then tell her her behavior at the show was unacceptable
use negs, back turns, the whole deal
-Rewok

Pastah
11-28-2006, 11:23 AM
I've been doing that, but she's the type of girl to do the saaame thing right back at me.
She started playing solitare on her iPod at the show, so I put my headphones on and started listening to music.
She wouldn't say a word to me, so I cheered and clapped extra loud when our friend (who everyone knows has a crush on me) went on stage.
After the show she left me to talk with her guy friend, so I fucking left and walked home without any warning. She texted me (TEXTED!?) asking where I went, so I texted back the address of the house she's not welcome in. She texted back "Oh".

Doofio
11-29-2006, 08:32 AM
You need to sit down and have a nice little chat with both your current roommates AND your current girlfriend.
I would reccommend the girlfriend first. Explain to her very sternly that you are making every effort in your power to resolve this situation and that her behavior towards you about it is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Wait for her to accept it and move to stage two, the conversation with the roommates. If she still acts like a bitch, ignore her until she complies or simply dump her, it's not worth all of this hassle if she is going to constantly throw the blame on you.
Now, the conversation with the roommates should go something like this. You live in the house, you pay rent, you pay utilities, you buy groceries and YOU tolerate what your other two roommates do. You have the right to expect the EXACT same treatment and respect for you and your friends. If they choose not to respect that, which seems to be the case, then they aren't treating you as a roommate or a friend, but just someone they are allowing to live there. Stop paying your fair share. Become the d-bag roommate. If it's hot and they turn on the AC, buy a fan, pay $30 less on the electric bill than everyone else and tell them you didn't want the AC on so you're not paying for it. Same goes for heat and water. Tell the roommate w/ a girlfriend that since she is allowed over, she can start chipping in, and until she does or stops coming, you're only paying half of your rent.
Start getting sloppy, don't do dishes, buy paper plates and plastic forks, eat their food, blast music at obscene hours, be obnoxious to their friends and make them not want to come over. If you don't want to go that road, you can end it all with three simple words..."I'm moving out". I'm sure you've got other friends at school you can live with and if not, find some.

Pastah
11-29-2006, 12:50 PM
Haha that's great advice man, and I tried a bunch of that... I would've kept going at it too, but there's no need anymore.
I had a long talk with her, and it turns out that the reason she was being all distant and annoying is because she isn't completely over her ex. I can't say I didn't expect this, but I just wish my friend hadn't convinced me she was upset because of my roommate situation.
I've made up with my roommate and his g/f, and me and this girl went back to being friends. It's amazing... right after we agreed that dating was a bad idea, all the tension was lost between us and it became so much easier to talk and hang out with her.
Thanks for the advice guys, now head on over to my other thread to help me turn this girl into a fuck-buddy :D

AbsentFriend
11-29-2006, 02:31 PM
You still need to resolve the issue with your roomate and his shitty girlfriend or the next time you have a girlfriend the same thing will happen. They currently don't respect you and that's not acceptable.

Pastah
11-29-2006, 04:46 PM
No no, it's not like that at all. They would have been cool with me having ANYone else in the world over, they just (apparently) had a long, horrible history with this girl and her friend. They told me that they wanted her out of their lives for good, and my having her over all the time would conflict with that.

Rewok
11-29-2006, 05:29 PM
light his shit on fire
-Rewok

_Plethora
11-29-2006, 05:44 PM
Have you reflected on this situation at all ? If not, its vital that you do … from what you posted you were cock blocked by a close friend, then ignored when you tried to reason with them. Next blew off by a girlfriend (who you probably were taking out regularly ?) and then after the situation went all fine and peachy as if nothing had happened – showing you can be pushed around (consciously or unconsciously).
Read some alpha male books, watch Tom Cruise movies … whatever works to teach you how to be more a more dominant male. Also, remember who the prize is and that any girl, who mistreats you, is replaceable.
Next time you will be able to recognize and prevent the situation before it escalates.

Pastah
11-29-2006, 08:12 PM
Don't pretend you know the situation. My roommate had a good reason. He wouldn't have deliberately cock-blocked me unless he had a damn good reason, he's not that type of guy at all. I alpha'd him to the best of my ability, to the point where he was nearly in tears. He was willing to sacrifice our friendship to not let this girl over. He may be an AFC who got destroyed by this girl in highschool, but he meant nothing personal towards me.
Regarding the girl, I don't think she was ever really my girlfriend to be honest. We never went out alone, we made out drunk a few times... and that was about it. I thought she was lookin for more, but I misread the signs. She was looking for mindless sex and I've realized that, so now I expect to take full advantage of that.

Vincent Chase
11-29-2006, 08:36 PM
light his shit on fire
-Rewok The Wok, is joking. BTW.
Don't light his shit on fire.
Use thermite.

miaddict
11-29-2006, 08:47 PM
I cant believe this thread is dragging on for ages.
Simple solution: MOVE OUT OF THE PLACE.

Vincent Chase
11-29-2006, 08:58 PM
I cant believe this thread is dragging on for ages.
Simple solution: MOVE OUT OF THE PLACE.
Ditto

Pastah
11-30-2006, 02:54 PM
I'm not sure why this is still dragging on. I AM moving out in a month. I'm NO longer dating this girl. Now she's a potential fuck buddy. Let this thread die :(

Silverfish
12-02-2006, 03:40 AM
No offense but your friend sounds like a weirdo loser.

Pastah
12-02-2006, 11:57 AM
I can understand how it would look like that from what I've posted, but you don't know all the details. I recently found out that my roommate was (allegedly) cheating on his current g/f with his ex g/f, and his ex is best friends with the girl I wasn't allowed to bring over. That's part of the reason he didn't want her over I suppose.