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Pimpski
10-31-2006, 09:21 AM
I just realized my largest sticking point:
I freeze up when things get sexual.
Its fucking awful man, and it happens every time (unless there has been major comfort built and "I" feel comfortable). I've had a lot of hook ups in the past and a couple random lays (prolly like 10) but i never enjoyed them. Actually, now that i think about it i've never even came during these random fucks, i've only been able to come with girlfriends. When i think about sex with a stranger i feel like a deer in headlights. This is some deep inner game shit that I NEED to fix otherwise my entire practice of PU is actually a huge waste of time. I say this not because my goal is random sex with random girls, but rather I am NOT giving off a sexual vibe with girls. I am NOT ready to have a sexual encounter at any time (like an alpha male should be). I get fucking scared.
I need help guys, please.

Valmont PUA
10-31-2006, 12:47 PM
I don't think it means that you're not alpha or anything. Different strokes for different folks? If your psychology demands that you know a girl more before having sex, then that's what it is. I'll be there's an evolutionary psychological switch in there, somewhere. Maybe it's your primate brain telling you to be slightly more choosy with whom you mate - she may look healthy but have psychological anomalies that might might hinder the rearing of offspring, for example. So so what. Don't push the sex part - forget about same-night lays. Push it back to Day2. Or Day3. Don't make getting sex your focus and you'll relax - and therefore it may even come when you don't expect it.

sdnightfly
10-31-2006, 01:08 PM
Maybe you're just more comfortable being sexual with someone that's not just a random fling. Might be morality from childhood in the back of your head coming up. You like gradual buildups with someone more than being spontaneous in that way.
Pick up doesn't have to be about f-closing if you don't want it to and you put too much expectation on it. You can take it as far as you want it to go and call it a night. By choice. It's all up to you and what you can deal with.
Alpha males aren't all about the destination as much as they are the journey. Once you're in there, it's fun but it's nothing that's going to be anything you haven't done before. PUAs can have fun just collecting numbers and having a good time with the women, they can have the potential to f-close but don't act on it all the time. It's that choice of f-closing or not and not worrying about missed opportunities that is prob. a lot more fun.
Your situation is not that unusual, and it's far from a negative quality. if it means f-closing during an LTR, that's your thing. You avoid doing fools mate and buyers remorse if you don't f-close and make yourself HVA that you don't f- every girl that spreads her legs open for you by choice so there are pros to it.

Pimpski
10-31-2006, 02:02 PM
Maybe you're just more comfortable being sexual with someone that's not just a random fling. Might be morality from childhood in the back of your head coming up. You like gradual buildups with someone more than being spontaneous in that way.
Pick up doesn't have to be about f-closing if you don't want it to and you put too much expectation on it. You can take it as far as you want it to go and call it a night. By choice. It's all up to you and what you can deal with.
Alpha males aren't all about the destination as much as they are the journey. Once you're in there, it's fun but it's nothing that's going to be anything you haven't done before. PUAs can have fun just collecting numbers and having a good time with the women, they can have the potential to f-close but don't act on it all the time. It's that choice of f-closing or not and not worrying about missed opportunities that is prob. a lot more fun.
Your situation is not that unusual, and it's far from a negative quality. if it means f-closing during an LTR, that's your thing. You avoid doing fools mate and buyers remorse if you don't f-close and make yourself HVA that you don't f- every girl that spreads her legs open for you by choice so there are pros to it.
Fly, u just made me feel a whole lot better. I think the biggest problem is not this quality itself, but rather the way i handle it. Its been a point of insecurity for me which can come out subconciously while gaming. I think i've been trying to pretend that its not really there and faking that i want F-closes right away, making me come across wrong. But there are other times where I WANTED to F close but couldn't out of anxiety. (i mean, i had a 9 throw herself at me while alone at her place and i pussied out and pretended it wasn't happening). I think that sex is something i pretend doesn't exist, as it makes me feel guilty. This is definatly residual from my childhood experiences. I feel that I want to be able to be sexually open and free, unhindered by judgements of others but i've grown up with the impression that sex is something u don't talk about and random sex is going to get you in trouble. And thats how i feel with sex, like its going to get me in trouble. I guess its a fear of STDs, pregnancy, etc. Even with a new relationship it can take a while. I get anxiety and its awful. Is there a "Sex is ok" workshop somewhere? lol

roony
10-31-2006, 02:41 PM
sounds more like a health problem, then a psychological problem... i used to have the same thing, till i added some sort of holistic drops on the advice of a practitioner. Did a bit more then fix the problem stuff was made by a comp called primavera,

Blade7252
11-02-2006, 01:01 PM
Well back onto going caveman.....it landed me a 3some and at the same time.............................................. ....................................crabs:(

Dragon
11-02-2006, 05:43 PM
I just realized my largest sticking point:
I freeze up when things get sexual.
Its fucking awful man, and it happens every time (unless there has been major comfort built and "I" feel comfortable). I've had a lot of hook ups in the past and a couple random lays (prolly like 10) but i never enjoyed them. Actually, now that i think about it i've never even came during these random fucks, i've only been able to come with girlfriends. When i think about sex with a stranger i feel like a deer in headlights. This is some deep inner game shit that I NEED to fix otherwise my entire practice of PU is actually a huge waste of time. I say this not because my goal is random sex with random girls, but rather I am NOT giving off a sexual vibe with girls. I am NOT ready to have a sexual encounter at any time (like an alpha male should be). I get fucking scared.
I need help guys, please.
Look...cavemannning doesn't nessarly mean your going have sex right then and there.. I've cavedman a girl in the past and I couldn't get a #, heh, still had rocking time though :) . Its a step to going sexual but nothing is "sexual" till you get a full monty or by my definition it is. As of giving a "sexual vibe" lets get to the point...the only reason your talking to her is to get sex or else you can talk to your guy friends, correct?
So take the bull by the horns, and say to yourself your going be giving her a amazing experience just chatting or potentially taking it further, and your the guy she's going remember all her life. Just because your the type of guy who does that, who makes women feel open and sexual to you. I think your just not comfortable in your sexuality yet or you wouldn't have this problem. I could be totally wrong though.
BTW: Deep innergame problem? I'm a full supporter of innergame since I say 60% is inner to me 40% is outer. But its a reality problem if anything, you haven't made one you want, starting from this post cut off any past crap such as this problem...its not you now or you in the future. :D
Good Luck!

Pimpski
11-03-2006, 10:03 AM
Thanks Dragon, great post.
I think as for being comfortable in my sexuality, i would have to say that i'm probably not 100%. Not in an "am i gay" way, but more like the thought pattern of my past sexual encounters leading to disaster. But you're definatly right man, i just gotta cut that out. As for what I want, i would have to say an awesome girlfriend is what i want...but i also want to be comfortable with casual sex if I want it from time to time hence the work i'm putting into it.
Oh and by the way...
I DID IT! I was totally gaming this girl last night and F-closed her. I remember screaming to myself in my head "GO CAVEMAN" right when i felt that anxiety/deer in headlights feeling and it went right away! I didn't come from sex tho, still weird anxiety about that with a stranger but I'm definatly on the right track.
I came to an important realization with that experience. I always had in the back of my mind the idea that "i don't know if she wants it" and a quick release to back out. But i realized that I'm the one MAKING her want it, and she WANTS me to take control cause it makes her want it more. The more caveman i went, the more she loved it. No more dancing on eggshells for me lol. If we don't go caveman, we're not doing the girls justice. And thats effin sweet.
Thanks again for your inspiring words.
The Pimpski