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View Full Version : The girl complains that she can't just have a guy friend



Andvarinaut
10-26-2006, 06:32 PM
I've been talking a lot to this girl on AIM and at school and have generally been doing a good job with her, at least better than in my hardcore AFC days.
She's been generally going out of her way to talk to me and seems to being having a good time with me, but I could already be in 'let's-just-be-friends-land", I probably should make a move soon.
In any case, she recently mentioned in a covo that she was sad about having just broken up with her BF and wanted to stay single for a while, she also noted that she 'resented' not being able to find a guy that she just could be friends with and someone who wouldnt just want to have sex with her in the end.
I wasn't really sure what would be the best way to respond to this would be, I just said, "most guys don't know how to handle a girl" and moved on to some other interesting topic.
I'm wondering what you guys would make of that, does she really mean it, should I consider this one in LJBF land, or does she mean something else?
Thanks

miaddict
10-26-2006, 06:36 PM
She is using you as her "emotional tampon". And that's not a good sign.
You've talked too much, you have skipped Attraction and went straight into Comfort. You are in LJBF land for sure.

Dragon
10-26-2006, 06:54 PM
I've been talking a lot to this girl on AIM and at school and have generally been doing a good job with her, at least better than in my hardcore AFC days.
She's been generally going out of her way to talk to me and seems to being having a good time with me, but I could already be in 'let's-just-be-friends-land", I probably should make a move soon.
In any case, she recently mentioned in a covo that she was sad about having just broken up with her BF and wanted to stay single for a while, she also noted that she 'resented' not being able to find a guy that she just could be friends with and someone who wouldnt just want to have sex with her in the end.
I wasn't really sure what would be the best way to respond to this would be, I just said, "most guys don't know how to handle a girl" and moved on to some other interesting topic.
I'm wondering what you guys would make of that, does she really mean it, should I consider this one in LJBF land, or does she mean something else?
Thanks
LJBF move on...your either her girlfriend or her boyfriend, right now your her girlfriend. Not saying you couldn't pull something out of this, but that damage control central and not worth it( to me anyways). Keep her as a friend though tons of benefits can come out of it ;)

Legion5
10-26-2006, 06:54 PM
I've been talking a lot to this girl on AIM and at school and have generally been doing a good job with her, at least better than in my hardcore AFC days.
She's been generally going out of her way to talk to me and seems to being having a good time with me, but I could already be in 'let's-just-be-friends-land", I probably should make a move soon.
In any case, she recently mentioned in a covo that she was sad about having just broken up with her BF and wanted to stay single for a while, she also noted that she 'resented' not being able to find a guy that she just could be friends with and someone who wouldnt just want to have sex with her in the end.
I wasn't really sure what would be the best way to respond to this would be, I just said, "most guys don't know how to handle a girl" and moved on to some other interesting topic.
I'm wondering what you guys would make of that, does she really mean it, should I consider this one in LJBF land, or does she mean something else?
Thanks
Ummm she's just pushing an LJBF shit test package (tm) at you, you aren't out yet.
An attracted girl would NEVER say that to a guy. You should probably "make your move" now...
I suppose. (eww lol at that whole rame "Make your move!!")

Tenmagnet
10-26-2006, 07:16 PM
In any case, she recently mentioned in a covo that she was sad about having just broken up with her BF and wanted to stay single for a while, she also noted that she 'resented' not being able to find a guy that she just could be friends with and someone who wouldnt just want to have sex with her in the end.
I wouldn't read much into this. This is pretty typical.
However, if you want anything to develop with this girl, you need to make something happen. You're not going to get anywhere with this girl hanging out with her in Highschool or talking to her on AIM. You need to meet up with her outside school, in a place where you can have some one on one time. If she won't come out to that, THEN you know she's LJBFing you.

Andvarinaut
10-26-2006, 07:27 PM
thanks for the input. Usually I can tell ive been LJBF'd (my sticking point seems to be getting stuck in the middle, since I def don't start out with comfort-AFC stuff) but this one's been tricky. She has expressed interest in meeting me to hang out, saying stuff like "invite me over sometime".
I think AIM is def the issue, without body language or kino possibilities. In the beginning I did everything by the book getting her interested enough to continue contacting me, telling stories, DHVing, making refrences to various other female 'girlfriends' I have, etc.
I think I'm going to cut down our AIMing from now on, and focus on getting her over my house.
Any other advice you guys have on how to have a little fun with this (I don't mind losing her as a friend/pivot, I have a lot of female friends as it is) would def interest me, I'll tell you how it turns out when things happen.

Sabre_Tooth
10-27-2006, 02:11 AM
I think 'emotional tampon' is a great phrase!
A better response to the 'every guy wants to fuck me' would be to mimic her. As in:
'Oh no, BOO HOO, every guy in the world is attracted to me, BOOHOO my life is SO awful!!!'
Then give her some helpful advice:
'You need to make yourself less attractive. I recommend that that you hit yourself with a spade a few times - in fact, as a good friend, I'm willing to help you out with that. Although I should warn you - this service ain't free you know!'
Seriously, don't allow to her get away with all this 'Boohoo my life is awful' bullshit. It's a slippery slope from here to 'Some badboy fucked me and is fucking 15 other women at the same time, boohoo!!! Take me out and buy me dinner in order to make me feel better!'
You need to make it clear that you're not going to be her nice guy shoulder to cry on where this lame stuff is concerned. I think you actually did an ok job with your reply - you handled it and moved on.
But be aware of this in future. As the above guys say - get off AIM and meet her in person. Don't allow her to talk about anything boring or negative. You are NOT her shoulder to cry on.

Phlash
10-27-2006, 05:11 AM
LOL, being a good listener never got anyone laid.
ACTIVE DISINTEREST, USE IT.