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View Full Version : So. After 5 years of boasting in bragging on here. I had to end it.



don juan matus
12-30-2018, 12:35 PM
It's been since July 1 since I went no contact. She has tried multiple platforms to reach me and I block her on everyone.

The last few years were very rocky. Turned out she had NPD. Mpd. And bPD. It was very very hard.

I loved and love her unconditionaly but my friends had an intervention with me. Mostly women. And they said block her for 12 to 24 months then see where you are an how you feel.

She def negatively effected my career and purpose in life. And whenever we would break up. Like 5000 times in 5 years. Something amazing would always happen at work for me

Today has been super rough though. I have really intense dreams and have a photographic memory connected to my emotions.

Any bro or gal advice would be spectacular.

P.s. I was a game master before I met her. And now don't want to look at or even talk to other gals. Even when I go on dates with hotties I still think of her

Conejitto
12-30-2018, 09:04 PM
Going thru the same shit bro. I definitely feel your pain. My situation is a little bit different as some of the shit in our past turned her sour. I only realize now that had we continued to move forward I would have had it held over my head the rest of my life. I'm a therapist and I can tell you that often times those with mental illness truly suffer in maintaining stable relationships. All I can say is hopefully she gets the help she needs. A lot of times with personality disorders...especially borderline personality disorder...there's a very high likelihood of threats of suicide or suicidal gestures for attention. Whether it is or not get the number to your local magistrate, community services board (community mental health agencies..they're called CSBs in Virginia) or contact the police non-emergency services line and ask for a CIT officer that can do wellness checks for anyone in mental health crisis. I'm sure this does not help your worries, but it's something real that probably won't be addressed on here.

As for your situation, yes, I'm in the same boat. LTR after 6 years. I fucked things up with lack of commitment in the past and paid for it in the long run. At the end of the day I've learned that it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. At the end of the day you need to weigh out your own happiness. What is the benefit of having her in your life if the rest of your life is turning to shit? I've been trying to put myself out there, without any real effort, but I'm sure I'm just trying to substitute the loss. You can always look into therapy to help get you over that period of grieving because your game will continue to be effected if you do not deal with what you're currently going through. I'm currently reviewing materials and working on myself so when I do get back out there when I find something worthwhile I'm not projecting the past onto the new girl. As cliche as it sounds bro, work on you. Resolve these issues before you bring it into the next relationship. Hope this helps. Message me if you need anything

don juan matus
12-31-2018, 08:20 AM
Going thru the same shit bro. I definitely feel your pain. My situation is a little bit different as some of the shit in our past turned her sour. I only realize now that had we continued to move forward I would have had it held over my head the rest of my life. I'm a therapist and I can tell you that often times those with mental illness truly suffer in maintaining stable relationships. All I can say is hopefully she gets the help she needs. A lot of times with personality disorders...especially borderline personality disorder...there's a very high likelihood of threats of suicide or suicidal gestures for attention. Whether it is or not get the number to your local magistrate, community services board (community mental health agencies..they're called CSBs in Virginia) or contact the police non-emergency services line and ask for a CIT officer that can do wellness checks for anyone in mental health crisis. I'm sure this does not help your worries, but it's something real that probably won't be addressed on here.

As for your situation, yes, I'm in the same boat. LTR after 6 years. I fucked things up with lack of commitment in the past and paid for it in the long run. At the end of the day I've learned that it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. At the end of the day you need to weigh out your own happiness. What is the benefit of having her in your life if the rest of your life is turning to shit? I've been trying to put myself out there, without any real effort, but I'm sure I'm just trying to substitute the loss. You can always look into therapy to help get you over that period of grieving because your game will continue to be effected if you do not deal with what you're currently going through. I'm currently reviewing materials and working on myself so when I do get back out there when I find something worthwhile I'm not projecting the past onto the new girl. As cliche as it sounds bro, work on you. Resolve these issues before you bring it into the next relationship. Hope this helps. Message me if you need anything

thanks for the wise words, i really appreciate it

i was def having a moment, and exaggerated a bit.

- i am def attracted to other women, i def check out and lust after other women, the truth is i lack any real energy to turn my charm on. i have spoken to many women since july 1, turned some down actually.

- so its really just a lack of energy to sarge and charm the way i have my whole life

- self improvement has always been my thing since i was a teen. and all i have done is focus on health and wellness since july 1.

- had a really hot date on saturday even, no effort on my part really to get sexual, even kissing. just muicro flirting and micro negging lol

thanks again for listening

djm

Rack
02-22-2019, 10:16 PM
I just went through the same thing, this book helped me a lot - https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901