View Full Version : Break up over poor communication. Fix or fucked?

05-04-2017, 11:57 AM
I'll try and keep this short and sweet. I would like to try once more with this girl, i really loved her but i am out and about in the meantime meeting other girls and keeping busy.

Together 4 years bar a few weeks. Im 36, shes 27. She has a kid from a previous relationship but this is not an issue for me. I was never expected to play dad.

We were in love with each other, girl def. loved me slightly more than i her but the love was mutual. Very intense, passionate relationship.

From about 2 years in she said she wants my kids and has asked me to marry her more than once. I made it clear at start I don't want kids and maintained this through the first 3 years however in the last 12 months my stance softened however around this time she started stating she doesnt want anymore kids even off me so i left it.

Regarding marriage i said no it's not something i believe in but made it clear i love her and am rejecting marriage itself, not her as a partner.

Apprioximately 3 years into relationship she moves to her uni city about 40 miles away. We see each other weekends mainly from here on in. We have never lived together in the 4 years (my bad i know)

Approx 7 weeks ago she messages me and says it's over, she loves me more than anyone but we have no future as i am not committed to her. She goes cold turkey on me and vice versa. After 2 weeks of no contact she starts messaging me saying shes been hasty, she wants me back etc but without explaining why she flipped other than saying im non -commital.

During weeks 2-5 of the breakup shes chasing me but i say i cant take her back until she explains what she means. We meet up one day to exchange items and spend the day together, its good fun like the old days and not awkward at all. She wont let me do anything sexual, just light kino etc. A few days later she comes round and makes me breakfast in bed again its fun, light kino, she wont let me do anything sexual though. She says shes not sure what she wants, she forgot how good we are together etc.

This day she explains we split up due to us not having lived together even though we agreed we would in year 3. I recently bought a house for us all but she explains she wont leave her uni city due to child being in school there ( she never mentioned this before) I say fine i will move to your city, she lives in a cool she also says she wants my child and as i will not give her one this is the deal breaker. I explain i would like her to have my child but for 12 months she was adamant she didnt want another. She said she was only saying this as she was scared if she asked again she would puish me away.

This week was our 4 year anniversary she msg'd me and things escalated into an argument quickly. She says im still her favourite person in the world but if we try and get back together now it would just seem forced. I said i'm sorry you feel that way because we have never been like that but if you don't think its worth trying again then i am going to have cut all contact i cannot be your friend so i wish her all the best and have now blocked her.

We have essentially split up over having a kid with each other, both uf saying we didn't want one but deep down both of us did.

I said to her if you change your mind you know where i am but i won't be waiting too long.

Any hope guys or any advice?