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View Full Version : Feel shitty after a breakup from a beautiful girl of 1 year



akrimony
04-03-2017, 12:43 AM
Hi,

I'm an on and off pua (if there exists such a thing! :-( ) So in October 2015, I met this really pretty girl in my office who was already in a relationship of 6 years. I was 28, she was 24 then. We began going and we liked each other and eventually, after a lot of hickups and bullshit, she eventually broke up with her guy to be with me. But she stayed friends with him. All fine.

Then I started noticing that she wouldn't put my pictures on fb but had loads of pics of her ex. I confronted her about this and she said she woudln't remove those pics and put mine after getting engaged or something..(we were planning to get married) ..after shitty fight on this, I called her a "whore" and we broke up. But immediately I learnt that she had begun going out with her bunch of friends that also contained "him".

I became beta instantly and called her and we made up and we began being together again but she was clear she wouldn't remove his pics and put mine at a right time.

I didn't say anything..

We made love in the coming months and it was okay. We just didn't confront each other on that topic and she remained friends with him although with almost no contact.

In march this year, she invited him to her brothers wedding after seeking my "permission". Initially I said okay but when I saw her giving him full attention and introducing me to her college friends and him as "a friend" i freaked out and went away from the party and texted her that I didn't want to see her again.

She emailed me and said you're a psycho and all and some exchanges of similar emails later all ended.

We haven't spoken or seen each other since about 4-5 weeks now.

But when I see her pics on fb and all, I get into my loser thinking mode and I think I might never find such a beautiful girl again. And I feel loser to that guy, her ex. Apparently he was rich, was of a metro city and she never ever said anything to put me above him or to show that she valued me over him which made me sad. I did speak to her about this and said "i wouldn't be able to replace him in your life evr.." and she said..."u have a different space in my heart why do u want to replace his.." which was very very hurting..

and now it hurts me more to think that

1) i might not be able to find a beautiful girl as her to be my gf, given my age (30 now) and the social environment I'm stuck in (9-5 IT job in India)
2) she will go back to him easily and they will get married and she never valued me over him even when i was head over heels for her
3) she moved on soo quickly and never once tried to make me stay or say okay i wont be friends with him but u don't leave..


I am so so freaked out of my age 30 years that once in a park i saw young couple (maybe 18 years) holding hands and I found myself being jealous of them..


I can't focus on the things I am good at - writing, music and stuff - and when i force myself to do these things i think- she didn't even value my talents and went off to that jerk who wasn't even good looking but was rich and lived in a metro city (i'm from a small town)..

This is coming in the way of my gaming other girls too. I had sex with other girl post breakup but I couldn't enjoy myself. All the time I kept thinking of how I have downgraded from her and how I used to make love to her and it used to feel amazing and I used to feel like an achiever!

Please help me!

Rio
04-03-2017, 02:14 AM
your focus is wrong

all your mental energy is focused on HER. how to get her, how to keep her, what she said, etc

you have limited power to control others and its a shitty goal anyway. instead focus on bettering urself. your sense of self-worth is tied to who ur fucking. you blow up like a child if people dont do what you want. there's years of self-improvement ahead of you.

work on urself and the rest will fall into place

oh and 30yo is young. most men die without having these realizations

akrimony
04-05-2017, 01:54 AM
your focus is wrong

all your mental energy is focused on HER. how to get her, how to keep her, what she said, etc

you have limited power to control others and its a shitty goal anyway. instead focus on bettering urself. your sense of self-worth is tied to who ur fucking. you blow up like a child if people dont do what you want. there's years of self-improvement ahead of you.

work on urself and the rest will fall into place

oh and 30yo is young. most men die without having these realizations


Thanks man, the last line was very powerful and helped me feel okay about myself. Thanks a ton!