View Full Version : Ugh why hasn't this gotten any easier? After 7 months?

03-13-2017, 08:49 PM
Hey guys, my names Dave I'll be 30 in less then a month.. I've been reading posts on this forum off and on since my break up in Augest.. I will try to make a long story as short as I can.. last January while at my local hangout bar my buddy tells me that he met a cute girl named Christina in there a few days prior but that she's married..a few weeks later I happened to be in there with him again and she walks in.. we meet say hi and she automatically starts ball breaking (which I like) about the Harley Davidson beanie hat I had on.. as the next few months go by I would randomly see her in there and send her a drink or vise Versa (I even met her husband once) the entire time we would flirt but were nothing more then friendly acquaintances at the time.. one night in may I randomly decided to invite her up to the bar.. she said "I'll see what I can do" she shows up with her gf from work (that irronically me and my buddy had graduated with) we all hung out that night and got pretty wasted.. I had made some stupid joke about something and she looked at me and said "your so f*cking cute!" At this point I realized she had alittle thing for me.. fast forward the next week I see her there and it's during the day and she got too drunk to drive home so I told her I would give her a ride home and bring her back for her car the next morning on my way to work. She agreed.. we get to her house and before she gets outta the car she kisses me.. 20 min later she messaged me a topless pic of herself and was like "I can't believe I just sent that".. fast forward another few weeks and we were hanging out alone going on dates, we would kiss and hold hands but she wouldn't sleep with me Bc as I was told at the time it wasn't right while she was still living with her husband, she told me she was filing for divorce and that they slept in separate rooms (they do have a 3 year old son also) fast forward another few weeks and I'm really starting to like this girl, she is litterally everything I have been waiting my entire life for, I cut off all the other girls I was talking to for her and I told myself that I wanted to do the right thing and make it work with her.. we started sleeping together in July and that was pretty much everytime we would see each other a few times a week..that lasted about a month, then suddenly in a hotel room in Atlantic City after a comedy show and dinner.. she started acting cold, wouldn't sleep wit me and said "I think we are moving too fast, I don't want to be here, I want to go home" so we made the hour drive back in the middle of the night, she got outta my car and that would be the last time I'd ever kiss her, the messed up part is I said to myself as she got outta the car "that's the last time she'll ever kiss you like that" the next few months broke me.. we stayed in somewhat contact but it was like a different person living inside her body.. she was cold, distant it was like none of the things she told me when we were together meant anything to her at this time.. like we never happened.. I begged and pleaded (like an idiot), I cried to myself for a few months over her, I litterally almost didn't want to live anymore honestly, I'm lucky I didn't loose my job for my half ass attitude, I racked up all my credit cards buying fancy clothes and watches and anything else I could think of ( I'm now about to be in a chapter 7 over it.) I had just stopped caring about everything, and all I could think about was getting her back.. within 3 weeks she was already hooking up with other guys.. and I was sulking drinking myself to sleep every night just to wake up and start again the next day.. I hated myself for letting her in..I hated myself for ignoring all my friends who told me to stay away from her Bc she's married..but most of all I hated myself Bc I didn't hate her.. no matter how much I wanted to I still loved her.. then enter Chelsea, the cute 23 year old (ironically met her at the same bar) she was a breath of fresh air in the shit storm that was my life at my time of self destruction.. we hooked up off an on for a few months and even though I knew it would never go anywhere serious, when I was with her I didn't think about Christina and that's all I knew.. but the second I wasn't with Chelsea, Christina would creep back into my brain.. last month Christina went mia.. she deleted her fb and blocked everyone she knows.. I heard from her gf last week who just saw her and she said that she went back to her husband and to tell me she deleted my number Bc she wants to make it work with him.. I guess I'm happy for her, even tho I'm really not and I still miss her everyday, pretty much throughout the day.. Chelsea and I are just friends now (in fact we are going to Florida for a few days soon) and I'm glad that We are on good terms and I started hooking up with a new girl last week. But why can't I get over Christina? No one in my life has ever made such an impact in a few short months, her and I connected so deeply on all levels and such a high chemistry.. then she just turns it off one day and a few weeks later says she just wants to be friends... it still kills me everyday, I wish I could contact her but I won't. I just don't know what else to do, my friends are all tired of hearing about her after 7 months and have pretty much told me they don't want to hear her name ever again.. anyway, I'm sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.. any real advice is much appreciated, I haven't spoken to her since November.. last week she did give my motorcycle helmet to her gf when she saw her, who gave it back to me. (It had been in her trunk since the summer) I told her to tell Christina i appreciate it Bc I had assumed she threw it away.