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Tenmagnet
08-06-2006, 11:11 AM
Hey guys,

I get the impression that a lot of guys out there are doing decently well at getting girls phone numbers and building attraction, but are getting a lot of flaking after acquiring the phone number. This challenge is to help you guys improve your phone game so that you're able to turn your phone numbers into dates. Here's the deal.

Your goal is to spend the maximum amount of time talking to girls on the phone this month. We're going to measure our sucess by taking our July cellphone bills, and comparing them with our August cellphone bills. The bigger the difference, the better we've done!

First though, let's talk some phone game theory.

Men and women view the telephone differently. Men view the phone as a tool that allows us to shedule our lives and arrange meetups with our friends. For a woman, talking on the phone is almost as good as meeting up with a friend. For example, when two guys chat on the phone, the conversation usually goes.

"Hey dave, what's up tonight"
"I'm going to Skybar at 9, wanna come"
"Yeah, totally.... hey, i'll see you there man!".
*click*....

Now I ask you guys this.... have you ever heard a woman talk on the phone like that? Nope! A woman would think that a conversation like the one above is weird and unnatural, and it's exactly the way that a lot of guys come off when we call a girl and immediately change the subject to meeting up. Women want to chat on the phone, even if it's silly small talk, and when we understand this, we can change our phone habits so they make women enjoy our calls, and feel comfortable and natural meeting up with us.

So, here are some rules for this little exercise. Please don't see these rules as hard and fast laws that need to be followed all the time, instead see them as part of the Phone Game Challenge, which is designed to be an exercise to improve your natural phone game.

- Contact girls the next day or the same day that you get their number.
- For the first call, don't even mention a meetup (unless you time bridged for that day). Just vibe and build comfort.
- For subsequent calls, don't mention the meetup untill you have chatted for at least 5 minutes.
- If you get a voicemail the first time, leave a message.
- If the girl you're calling is busy, at work or being destracted, just say "hey, I'll call you back when you're not distracted". If she tries to get you to stay, stay (unless the distraction is really annoying).
- If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don't give up until you have called at least 5 times.
- If a girl is picking up the phone, still call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with ALL the phone numbers you have!
- Don't be afraid to make small talk. If you HAVE the phone number, you are in Comfort! You can get away with mellow chit-chatty conversation. Talk about any topic you want, just try and make it interesting!
- Try and get into deeper conversation. What were you like in highschool? Tell me about your family. Etc...
- Call your female friends and girls who have LJBFed you and talk with them! They count too!

The goal of this is to make you into one of those people who is constantly talking on the phone and getting phone calls and socializing over the phone. You want to get phone backs while you are on day 2's, and constantly interacting with a wide group of friends. You'll be amazed how this changes your social dynamic.

Good luck guys! And post your results here!

Malibu
08-06-2006, 04:19 PM
Fucking BEST OF....!
another tip is when you call a girl....say "I just called to say hi"...this usually gets a good response for me and the girls become very receptive.

Hysteria
08-06-2006, 07:23 PM
Another mindset according to Tenmagnet is to treat it like a game where you have to rack up as many minutes per month on your cellphone bill as possible. Shoot for the high score and see how high you can get it.
I still have to organize my bootcamp study notes regarding phonegame from last weekend, but holy crap, most of it is all in this topic! :D You guys are lucky. :D

Headrush
08-07-2006, 03:39 PM
Very good advice from tenmagnet. Heres my experience recently. I got 2 phone numbers from two diff. girls, left a message for each. I got callbacks from both. Because of logistics (there was a game on in one instance and and in the other she was with her mom and friends) i got number within 5 minutes of meeting them. Didnt run A3 on either of them, lost them both. What should you
do in a situation like this, when you just dont have time to run A3 in person, should you run it over the phone or just skip it and go straight to comfort which is what I did but obviously I fucked up somewhere along the lines.

Malibu
08-07-2006, 04:03 PM
Very good advice from tenmagnet. Heres my experience recently. I got 2 phone numbers from two diff. girls, left a message for each. I got callbacks from both. Because of logistics (there was a game on in one instance and and in the other she was with her mom and friends) i got number within 5 minutes of meeting them. Didnt run A3 on either of them, lost them both. What should you
do in a situation like this, when you just dont have time to run A3 in person, should you run it over the phone or just skip it and go straight to comfort which is what I did but obviously I fucked up somewhere along the lines.
no you MUST run A3...its very important to qualify, and i dont see how you cant run the standard model over the phone.
I suggest fading back to A2 briefly....bit of active disinterest over the phone (hard to do i know but it is achievable)....bit of cocky funny, be playful and then qualify as you would normally....dont time bridge on that call....build more comfort after you qualify first....then on the next phone call time bridge her.

Headrush
08-12-2006, 11:30 PM
thanks Malibu, that cleared some things up. I got another phone number 5 days
ago. Met this one at the store she was working. Got into a little dhv, asked where shes from, her "philadelphia" me "no way, youre serious, I mean, I cant even......" bait, hook, reel, release. I called her while at concert on wed, left message, she called back 5 min later, there was a break in the show so I decided to talk to her. We talked about how she likes Neo, r and b, how she just moved. Talked mostly about music. She said 'well, I dont want to hold you up, since youre at a concert" I said "I'll probably call you tomm" didnt call so I dont seem supplicating but I called the day after (fri. at 8:00 pm), she didnt pick
up, so I left this message "Hey_______ Im just about to go out to (name of club) with a couple of friends of mine, wanted to see what youre up to, call me back when you get this message." Its now sunday morn. and no call back. So should I call again? or wait for her to respond?

krapylet
08-13-2006, 11:20 AM
This is great stuff. Looking at it like a game - I mean like a real game, with a high-score and all - makes that AA-like feeling you get when dialing a recently collected number vanish.
On voicemail and messages.. How common is it to leave a voicemail msg in the US or UK? I've been blindly following the mentality of always leaving a message, but VMs aren't that common here, and I have received no callbacks. Cultural calibration, or throw caution to the wind and leave a message regardless?

Xtreeme
08-13-2006, 12:03 PM
Haha! OMG I love you man! Haha! i hope you u get a big smile on your face every time you get in front of the mirror cause you deserve it.
Here's my story:
I got game, but im developing it with goals of becoming like you guys. My real sticking point is PHONE GAME! I hate the phone. I GET NERVOUS! I dont know why. IM NEVER NERVOUS, im a boxer so i have a natural way of ignoring that feeling.
This will help me. as matter of fact i read the post and i instantly called a girl that i THINK i got LJBFd by on friday (accordingly to my tests and her BL)
While i read the post i thought of who I'd call first and when i read you can call girls u get ljbfd by too I called her first. I call and she's on a party (see most guys still have summer breaks while im facing school tomorrow. dont feel sorry for me though) And some unknown girl picks up and instantly get a good tone screaming XTREEME!! (My real name though) and talks to me like she knows everything about me. Seems as the girl who i think LJBFd me has talked a lot about me. SO I fluff with her and shes having a party and stuff and they dont have coke or anything to fill the liquor out with. So i tell her go down to 7/11 and buy some. She says she's to lazy to do it. I tell her:
Xtreeme:I tell you what. i'll get it for you, just hook me up with someone fun to speak with. (figured I could show that I am the prize, i dont care if i talk to her or someone else. giving her some social space)
*she gets me her best friend*
Xtreeme: Hi! I got a great challenge for you (got the idea from this posts topic :D)
HBsFriend: HI! YEA you are xtreeme right?
Xtreeme: Yes?
HBsFriend: Are you interested in HB?
don't know how to take this as if HBs said she's interested, or that she's totally LJBFing me and telling it to her friends what a looser i am, which i strongly dont think but also cant deny. So IOI or IOD i answer:
Xtreeme: No, right now im interested in you.
HBsFriend: Oh yea? why?
Xtreeme: Cause I got a challenge, go get money bla bla bla.
And when she went to get coke she put me back to HB. We fluffed and it was totally Social Proof that i could get her friend to go buy some coke. We fluffed for a while and then SHE said; so what day is the 18th?
Xtreeme: Friday
HB: Great! we'll see eachother then, right? (we'll be shooting the same movie)
Xtreeme: yea we will. I have a challenge for you too.
HB: What?
Xtreeme: Have fun at your party, if you fail, i never wanna see you again. have fun, Cya!
I know, I know, i should post an fr on this, but i figured this should be on this thread so it could encourage other that only the kick you get by reading this forum WILL get you to be better. Im on such high esteem right now, I'll call all the ladies I have in line.
Peace Fellas!

Sovereign
08-14-2006, 01:46 PM
Unforunately, many girls are not building up enough comfort before the # close. The # is easy to get, in fact if you have anything connection built up and you hand her your phone, it will be socially ackward for her NOT to put her number in.
So remember that, #'s are easy to get. You should be getting about 75% of the targets phone #'s.
However, when that girl wakes up in the morning, she is either going to think, "Ugh, who the hell was that guy I gave my number to, I hope he doesn't call." OR "I hope that guy calls!" and then she checks her phone to see if you did.
You obviously want to be the latter person. In order to get to that point, you need to establish a real connection with her the night before. She may give you her number in the moment (drunk, having fun, etc.) but that number will flake or become much more difficult to maintain if you did not take the time to build a connection (C/F guys this is for you!)

J1n
08-14-2006, 02:24 PM
Unforunately, many girls are not building up enough comfort before the # close. The # is easy to get, in fact if you have anything connection built up and you hand her your phone, it will be socially ackward for her NOT to put her number in.
So remember that, #'s are easy to get. You should be getting about 75% of the targets phone #'s.
However, when that girl wakes up in the morning, she is either going to think, "Ugh, who the hell was that guy I gave my number to, I hope he doesn't call." OR "I hope that guy calls!" and then she checks her phone to see if you did.
You obviously want to be the latter person. In order to get to that point, you need to establish a real connection with her the night before. She may give you her number in the moment (drunk, having fun, etc.) but that number will flake or become much more difficult to maintain if you did not take the time to build a connection (C/F guys this is for you!)
Yep, it's easy to get the #, hard to follow up the next day on the phone. I am gaming a girl and experiencing the same thing. So this is what I am doing. I met her at club and danced with her.
I called, she didn't answer, called again, she didn't answer. Over the period of few days.
I texted: We aren't even dating, and your already playing hard to get.
hb7: who is this
me: omg, we made out and you didn't remember? we are breaken up
hb7: where and when did we make out? darn you are breakin' up with me
*I ignored the message*
1 hour later
hb7: You are such a punk, you get me everytime, I got a new phone and didn't have your number.
me: You are not getting me back this easy
That was yesterday
She called me today, and we talked for 10 minutes. I told her I have to go run some errands so I'll call her later. I am going to build up abit more attraction and comfort before setting up date.
critiques?

Rain
08-16-2006, 09:10 AM
- If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don't give up until you have called at least 5 times.
- If a girl is picking up the phone, still call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with ALL the phone numbers you have!

I also wonder about this. Can someone explain to me how this is NOT AFC behavior? I realize the goal is to dramatically increase your time on the phone, but calling without an answer every two days seems quite needy. It seems to project an empty dance card, you know what I mean?
I do agree, however, that multiple calls, especially when most are NOT about setting up plans, if she is investing is a good thing. But if you've recieved no return call, or she hasn't answered even once, I don't see how calling every two days appears as anything but freaky, psycho-stalker behavior.
Please, enlighten me.
PS. Otherwise a stellar post, as usual, Ten.

Face
08-16-2006, 09:28 AM
Can someone explain to me how this is NOT AFC behavior? I realize the goal is to dramatically increase your time on the phone, but calling without an answer every two days seems quite needy. It seems to project an empty dance card, you know what I mean?
I agree--only b/c of Caller-ID. If she did not see that you called, then who gives a shit?! But, she can see that you keep calling. And that sucks.
Just think back to the (exaggerated) scene in Swingers.
I, personally, would not lose her #..BUT I would wait a few days, then a week, then a month, etc. NBG as long as you space if out.

SaxMan
08-16-2006, 10:54 AM
I am building up a large social network, actively building value (actually being a fun/interesting person, not just acting like it), and learning new skills. My background is in the professional world where your value is largely dependent on your network so I am applying many of the same skills to my social life now.
Basic rules --
1. Work through, not to your contacts.
2. Everyone is important. It's now who you know it's who they know.
3. A large social network consisting of men in the game whom can serve as wings, women you've gamed or who are just friends, and other people who plan various events you attend is very important.
Build your social calendar by finding great events you are interested in -- happy hours, meal specials, organized group events, and events planned by close and not-so-close friends. As you meet new girls or even new guys call them up regularly and invite them to come along to the event you are already attending.
I now have a 'girl list'. These list includes all girls I have contact with for any reason. Last night I called each of these girls whom I knew was in town. There is currently five girls on this list -- all added in the last two-three weeks.
One is out of town. I met up with one for the first time last night so no need to call. One did not pick up so I left a voice mail. The other two are now coming to some event in the next few days. I really hit it off with one of them and ended up talking for 45 min to an hour. We really get along and will likely be great friends. She is new in town and wants to try so many things. Her openess to new activies is appealing as my current awakening through the game is bring me out of my shell and I am now trying all sorts of fun and adventurous things. She is joining me Friday evening for street car drag racing and is really excited about it.
The last girl on the list is a girl I met online. I find online to be useful as an added channel and is to be used sparingly. Skills are built in the field then when you have a few minutes or are stuck at home for some reason you just apply the same skills to an online chat and bounce or timebridge before asking for a number.
We are meeting Saturday. Last night we spoke for a while and I thought I was showing some disinterest or teasing or flirting but she really just kept rambling on without much of an emotional investment. So finally I got tired of listening to her and really dug into her being what I thought might have been downright insulting or rude. That is when she sparked up!! She started really having fun, told me I was funny and was laughing. I initally told her she should come to a party on Saturday, she asked if we were going to be weird, I said she was probably right that she's probably strange and shouldn't come. After some banter I suggested we grab a drink Saturday afternoon using David D's online 'prentend I have to walk my cat' line and she was in! She is driving 45 minutes to meet me two minutes from my house.
I posted the above FR as an example. Staying in touch with people provides for interesting results. You find out they are doing something interesting and they invite you or they come along to one of your events or you set up a date. In the above example that was the fourth or fifth call in a week to the girl I met online. But since I am just trying to build a social network and am not terribly interested in her why not call a few times?? It may end up we sleep together late Saturday or she comes to the party and provides social proof or she just becomes a friend that comes to other events.

Tenmagnet
08-16-2006, 12:16 PM
I also wonder about this. Can someone explain to me how this is NOT AFC behavior? I realize the goal is to dramatically increase your time on the phone, but calling without an answer every two days seems quite needy. It seems to project an empty dance card, you know what I mean?
I do agree, however, that multiple calls, especially when most are NOT about setting up plans, if she is investing is a good thing. But if you've recieved no return call, or she hasn't answered even once, I don't see how calling every two days appears as anything but freaky, psycho-stalker behavior.
Please, enlighten me.
The act of calling itself, is IMO, not needy. Needyness is telegraphed when you call a girl up and have nothing interesting to say, or only try and get her out.
Calling once every two days is not "psycho-stalker behavior", at worst, it's slightly AFC-ish, but you're faced with a dilemma when you have an unresponsive number: either you call repeatedly and appear slightly AFC, or you don't call, and the number stales perminantly. Appearing slightly AFC is the lesser evil in this case.
You would be surprised the number of women who are really disorganized, and let their cellphones die without recharging them for 5 days, and other silly (but true) stories.

adamm411
08-16-2006, 12:26 PM
Awesome post: informative and concise.
I've never been a big fan of phone conversations. It just so pales on comparison to having a real live person right in front of you! The excitement and fun factor seem to go way down. Nonetheless, this seems not to be the case with women. I think women like to talk on the phone more than they like sex. More than they like shopping.
My question is this: very often I get voicemail. What type of voicemail should I be leaving? Especially on the first callback. One chick told me I left a really long, rambling message and she looked annoyed. Her girlfriend who I called also, complained that I had called way too late (like 10:30 PM). My phone game needs improvement, to say the least.
Adamm

Whogots
08-16-2006, 01:13 PM
The act of calling itself, is IMO, not needy. Needyness is telegraphed when you call a girl up and have nothing interesting to say, or only try and get her out.
Calling once every two days is not "psycho-stalker behavior", at worst, it's slightly AFC-ish, but you're faced with a dilemma when you have an unresponsive number: either you call repeatedly and appear slightly AFC, or you don't call, and the number stales perminantly. Appearing slightly AFC is the lesser evil in this case.
Good points. I have a question. How about a situation I'm in now? ...known her a month and a half and we have alot in common. She has a very busy shedule and so for the most part she's been the one calling me maybe 1-3 times a week and a little less the past 3 weeks. Talk for a hour at least each time. Usually txt/email back 'n forth some days and been on 4 dates. Comfort is there but been unable to escalate further due to circumstances and what not. So 2 weeks ago didn't hear from her for a bit and txt'd her about her being too busy jokingly etc. and she started the whole email ping-pong. Told her in an email in not so many words to just call me and she did that night. Left loose plans to hookup the weekend before last and so the Thurs txt'd about maybe that night or fri cuz I was going to be busy sat/sun night. No reply. Then on sat left her a msg with her bro and still no reply. We're now at Wednesday and I think it's a write-off. I figure if I call now it's 100% loser/every other guy on the line but if nothing happens on her end it'll go stale. Maybe she is just real busy or playing hard to get.

Tenmagnet
08-17-2006, 07:02 AM
My question is this: very often I get voicemail. What type of voicemail should I be leaving? Especially on the first callback. One chick told me I left a really long, rambling message and she looked annoyed. Her girlfriend who I called also, complained that I had called way too late (like 10:30 PM). My phone game needs improvement, to say the least.

I usually leave something really simple... ideally with people talking in the background or something.
"Hey, what's up <pet name>. I'm just <doing cool DHV thing> and I thought I would give you a call and say hi. I'll call you back."

Then on sat left her a msg with her bro and still no reply. We're now at Wednesday and I think it's a write-off. I figure if I call now it's 100% loser/every other guy on the line but if nothing happens on her end it'll go stale. Maybe she is just real busy or playing hard to get.
You're staling out... if you're not going to see a girl for weeks, you NEED some good phone conversations. You need to meet up with this girl immediately.

JPZA
10-07-2006, 12:00 AM
Hizit
I really agree, when guys phone each other it is usually very short and precise, UNLESS we are reveiwing a sarge :)
With HB's I have learnt to change and reform to a more "conversational" telephone call.
But I was actually so astonished and taken back from the last nr I received an who called me:rolleyes:
So this is what happened.
On Friday I had a pretty hectic day at the office so this HB calls me roughlyt at 1pm, she was going on a half day, she only called me to say good bye whilst we were e-mailing me the whole day, so the phone call, i found a bit odd, and being as busy as I was I said , ok thats interesting, but I do expect one last email from you before you leave? and then kinda finished the call.
I did get a last email " Ok sweets , im off and enjoy your weekend"
Do you think she is pissed off from my abrupt phone ending?
JP

Claudius
11-07-2006, 07:45 PM
- If a girl is picking up the phone, still call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with ALL the phone numbers you have!
What about texting/online conversations? How should we limit these things in relation to phone game so we don't across as too needy?
Claudius

Tenmagnet
11-08-2006, 09:38 AM
As long as a girl is enjoying your texts and replying promptly, there's no real limit. Sometimes I will text girls 4-5 times a day, other times I don't text at all and call every 2 days.
I try and make a point of taking a bit longer to reply to her than she does to me.