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bruzeh
11-01-2016, 10:18 AM
hello, i would firstly just say that i am looking for help, i have done my part by taking part in counselling and a psychiatrist.
Here is the story: (boys perspective)
it was a typical break-up nothing special X (X=girl) lost feeling for me after 6 months of being together throughout the duration of year 12. Since we broke up before summer it meant that it let me just go depressed and not go out and etc etc. X started going out more and more since she was 18 already she could go to clubs and have fun where as i could since im 17. seeing all that happen through snapchat got me ****ed knowing that she was out in the world and i couldnt do anything to stop a guy hitting on her, the most beautiful girl in the world. i had enough and i started going out. there was one point she got drunk and called me and said she had something to say to me but she got cut off and told me she'll tell me tomorrow and of course she didn't tell me. I had enough so i went to a party and of course got drunk and i called X and i didnt hold back i said i loved her and etc and hung up. a Few days later i went to another party and this time i went to far i drank almost whole entire bottle of vodka and started vomiting and all the stuff and my parents had to pick me up and all that stuff and X found out i still dont know what she thinks about that but it was obvious i did i to just forget all my problems for a night. 2 weeks latter school started this is when i lost my mind, having to see her every day it had got me going crazy because i couldnt handle it. there is a twist to this my best friend Y started hanging out with X and this got me upset because i told everything to Y but he still talked to X. I didn't want to say anything but i regret it now. time past and me and X called one another calling each other just sad because we both couldnt handle seeing each other and she couldnt handle seeing me sad all day every single day in school. i couldnt help it because i lost the love of my life there was no other way for me to act. Than one day i was going home and i saw Y and X and another person at X's house smoking together after school and this got me heated (i was on the bus and it happened to pass her house) so i got off the bus and when to my best friend and told him WTF and shouted and everything i punched the wall multiple times because i didnt want to hurt anyone and i walked off with more angry ive ever had in my entire life that im was fcken sad and the were all happy and etc etc. 2 days later i wrote a note say i was going to hurt myself and do **** and i gave it to X and Y but i got people to give it to them and than school got involved and thats the day i lost my best friend and lost any hope with being friends with my X, i went to the A&E and i talked to 4 psychiatrist about the whole situation. i realised i ****ed up and i couldnt do much about it, i went to talk to the head master to apologise to X and Y and a few other people that were involved and at first it was good since it was only me and X but than more a more people showed up and it turned in more of a joke and pointing out my **** ups which is fair to be honest since i was the one that cause all of this and so it ended up in X wanting to hear how i was going to change and prevent anything else from happening out load which was fair. than came October which was the month on X's birthday and i wanted to do something so what i did was write a love story about our past, gift card from whole foods and more etc etc. the love story was the tricky one since i didnt know if it was going to be acceptable so what i did is i gave it to her best friend to read with the intentions to not cause any conflict or drama and i told her not to give it to X to make sure if its acceptable or not to give. but she gave it to X straight away and it ended up her hating me more and her brother threatening me to leave X alone or there would be consequences. That was the complete opposite what i wanted to happen, so this meant i had more hatred towards me. throughout all of this i had started hanging out more and with a guy in school that was going out with one of X's good friends that didnt go to the school. I didnt become friends with him because of X at all but it may have looked like that and so when X's bday came around she didnt invite the good friend because she saw on snapchat that i was hanging out with them now and then. i found this out a few days ago when a friend had called me at midnight to come out and "crash a party" because she wanted her ex boyfriend back so i said okay ill go with you because i didnt want her to be alone at midnight roaming the streets. so we went to the party and once i left i realised the X's best friend was at the party with her boyfriend and i said **** but i couldnt leave. so i called the ex boyfriend to see if he could come out to talk to her but than the boyfriend of X's bestfriend got the phone and told me how i have manipulated everyone, told lies and everything to make myself feel important and etc. he told me to apologies one more time so i did and X replied with angry which is completely understandable because all i have done in this whole situation is hurt her and cause conflict without knowing. so we talked and i attempted to try and be honest and have no manipulation and no lies and tell the truth about everything for one second she wanted it but than something changed her mind and she wanted to be left alone but i couldnt i said i just wanted to be honest for one moment. I dont want to do it to change her mind about me i just wanted her to know the honest truth even if it made me look more as the bad guy than fair enough as long as she knows the truth but shes didnt want the truth. she blocked me once again on social media and now im begging my ex bestfriend to tell her to give me a moment of honest truth because i know this is all on me i could have blocked her the second she broke up with me and left it but i did all of this and its got to the point if i even try to right my wrongs i look like the bad guy. I am the bad guy, i dont wake up in the morning and think how can i make this worse it happens without knowing i never wanted to hurt anyone i never wanted to be in this position im in with people ive lost and now her brother is coming to town from uni and yeah seems like fun. thats my post breakup story there is obviously more to the story but thats sums it up. this is not for sympathy this is more for opinions thanks for reading if you even got this far have a nice day

Duut
11-01-2016, 11:13 AM
Welcome to the forum.

To be honest, your story is not an easy read. But that doesn't really matter because there is only 1 solution for this.

Delete her from your life! You have made a mess of things to such an extend it's not solvable. I can understand now you know that you went to far that you want to make everything okay again but it's just not going to happen. Your priority should be to get over this girl, to realize she is only so special because you make her so special. Give this a place and give yourself some time to move past this so you can reflect on it with a clear mind. Remove her from every social media and also her (best)friends.

Time heals and so will this situation. You are young, take these experience with you, learn from them, make sure nothing like this will ever happen again!

If you still feel this is not something you can deal with I still would suggest to see a psychiatrist or anyone who is capable of dealing with this.

Hope this helps, good luck!

bodyczech
11-04-2016, 05:39 PM
Hey, you are 17/18.
Understand this, even if you were perfect for each other this relationship was not going to last, and not last long at all. You are too young to get hung up so hard on anyone, both of you. I would recommend at your age not staying with anyone longer than a few months and just enjoy yourself, at least for the next few years. If you get hung up and put girls on pedestals don't go into anything long term at this age. At this age doing a 2 - 3 year long term relationship is crazy imo.I just recommend to anyone this age - chill, experience different women, don't lock in with anyone.
Now 'give yourself some time' and some experience and go enjoy your youth!

raiyans
11-06-2016, 04:06 AM
a) this story, as sad as it is, is not a unique one. Almost everyone of us has been through this kind of shit in his life. This is really what turns boys into men and life isnt always that easy you know.
b) look at the positives in your life. You are healthy, your young , you might have good parents, descent home etc etc. If you put the effort you will have a wonderful life full of beautiful women ahead of you
c) if your best friend is hanging out with your ex then he aint you best friend. Fuck that bastered. Delete him and stop talking to him at once.
d) its okay to change your school, and your surrounding if it would help you forget about your ex
e) your a human so give yourself a break. We have emotions, we get hurt we make mistakes etc etc etc
f) I have been through a similar story myself. You can find my pathetic posts in this forums just about a year ago. The key that helped and made it all better is to learn to forgive. And am not talking about forgiving her because this is relatively easy, am rather talking about forgiving yourself.