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View Full Version : Breakup - New BF is me



JohnJohn123ju
10-18-2016, 01:12 AM
Hi,
My Gf broke up with me after being together for over 8+ years. Since the break up I have found out that she is dating a guy that is exactly the same as me but only younger (he is literally me about 8-9 years ago, same race, same situation). They were originally work mates but slowly over the past nine months they have become closer, she cheated on me with him once when we were in the relationship. Since the breakup we have had limited contact (I have done the limited NC which caused her to leave continiously, voicemail's etc, When we have needed to speak it has always been polite expect the first few days after the initial breakup). During this time she would say things like 'she will always love me', if only we meet ant a different time, she wanted it all with me (kids, family, house etc)
I have read various book and done all the self improvement and other advice i have found on the internet and related books. I has now been two months since the breakup, so I am not sure if this is a rebound relationship or a planned escape relationship. During the breakup Me and her new BF came face to face and only had a few words before she stopped us and we went our own ways. After about a month we meet up and went for ice cream, afterwards she was all affectionate and touchy, feely, kissy etc even thou she was with the new bf.(she did not tell me but i knew from friends/ her family etc) Since then she has rang me to say that they were having problems and I only offered her minimum advice stating that I was too busy at that time. The next two days she was constanlty texting me as good friends (20+ texts back and forth) then it all went cold except for the odd 2-3 general texts every few days. During the two longs days off texting we agreed to meet up, which occured yestaerday. There was laugther, abit off touching and hugging (like good mates would i guess and there felt like there was attraction there from both her and myself). Anyway afterwards she has not gotten back to me yet and i dont think she will most probably due to pride.
She has now stated that she would feel guilty contacting me due to her situation and we have now stop all communication.

I still love her and want to give her everything and Im guessing the reason for this is due to that fact that we become complacient and I lost her emotionally. All her family are against the new relationship, in fact her mum would be happy if we got back togther as she know how much we really loved one another over all those years. The new relationship has moved on real fast (like a rebound relationship) but i also feel one reason that she is in a rebound ound relationship is because "Replacing you with someone whom is very similar to you shows that your ex is trying to replicate what they used to have with you with this new partner and they might be transferring their feelings towards you onto this new person.

It is now coming up to over 2 month since the break up and even thou I am not fully over her (about 70%) I feel that I have moved on. I would happily spend the rest off my life with her but if we don't get back i will be disappointed but will be ok with myself.

Any Suggestions/advice as even after the breakup and me improving myself i still have strong feelings for her and would like to still be with her.?