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View Full Version : Ex LDR contacted to ask me to delete the pics of us off social media...



LBmack
01-18-2016, 10:33 PM
A girl that I dated long distance over the summer and also fell in love with, contacted me and asked me to delete the two pictures of us off of my instagram/facebook. She said she is not comfortable with her images and images of us when we were together on my social media. She also said she thought I was trying to pretend we were still together and "show her off".. she is 23 and brazilian and does have a temper. Claims to not believe in "forgiveness and sorry is just a word."

After being NC for 2-3 weeks and hoping she would reach out the whole time in a kind way, I was a bit hurt and upset by this to say the least and I responded in a way that I regret and am not proud of. I said some hurtful things to her, (that I felt were true at the time), about her being heartless and cold etc.
Then we proceeded with the blocking on all forms and more NC. This was a month or two ago. I did not delete the pictures, mostly to spit her. Also because being with her was great and I really fell for her, even though I probably shouldn't have. I tried not to fall so hard I really did, but she had me. I know I have some responsibility for why it didn't work out, i displayed that I didn't trust her, I got insecure and lot my alpha), got drunk and tried making her jealous which backfired terribly and I wasn't being totally honest either regarding some escapades in Vegas before my last visit with her. I was also dealing with serious personal/family issues at the time when I met her which were impacting my emotions and behavior at times.
I know everyone has told me to forget all about her, and never speak to her again, but it's hard. She told me that its over and I need to respect that and move on. It's gotten a better but I still do think about her and I don't understand why she is being so cold twoards me. I don't see any reason why we can't remain friends or at least have no hard feelings. We really got to know eachother and she knows my heart and that I am a good person.
Anyway she responded to an email I sent a while back, saying basically that if I can't even respect her to delete the pictures after she asked multiple times nicely, she doesn't want to talk to me. Also referencing the "terrible things" I said to her and the way I made her feel.

Anyways part of me wants to delete the pictures and tell her that I am sorry for what I said to her and hurting her feelings. Honestly I didn't even think she could care about anything I had to say after showing she didn't care about me. Part of me says, thats the dumbest thing I have ever heard, I have never had an ex ask me to delete the pictures and they were also "beautiful".. It doesnt really bother me having the pictures on there, yes she is really hot and maybe it is a little subconscious showing off. I just don't understand the request and I felt disrespected.

Do you think I should delete them anyway because it might send the wrong message to girls I want to date in the future? Esp girls from church :) ? I don't have any other girls pictured with me on instagram, I don't really use social media that much.

I don't know guys I guess its clear I am still a little sore over the way things ended, I feel like I could handle being friends with her and I would prefer that to the blocking/deleting route. I know we arnt going to be together but I still care about her as a friend. I know that I want to date a girl that I can be that crazy about and feel that way about in the future. It sucks to know that I got real close but the timing and shit I was dealing with, and the way I acted played a big part in it not working out.

I guess I am just looking for some advice and encouragement. I really appreciate it,

Thanks

Hurley
01-19-2016, 09:04 PM
Delete the pics
Don't contact her, ever
Get more abundance in your dating life and forgeddabouther

Getting over an ex (http://www.lovesystems.com/blogs/dating-advice/55064453#_a_4quxtqwffw)

Really, you've been around for 8 years. You know how much good material is available to help you get more options with women. Moving on is the best advice I can give you.

job20
01-20-2016, 01:03 AM
With friends like her who needs enemies ?

ChocolatePUA
01-21-2016, 05:07 AM
Thought I answered this but let's go again,

One question though - was this a profile picture that you recently put up, or a memory picture that you recently featured? Or is it just some old pictures buried deep within your Facebook profile? And how long ago did you post these pictures to your social media?

OP you cannot make this friendship thing work. The only reason why you WANT it to work is because you still have feelings for her and deep down inside (even if you don't want to admit it) want to see if there's a chance of things working out somehow in the future.

There is only ONE realistic option.

Delete her from your life. Totally and completely. Your attempts to remain friends have failed. There is literally NO benefit to having her in your life in any way, shape or form.

DO NOT respond to her most recent messages, or any messages that come hereafter. Do not contact her, whether by letter, email, whatsapp, message, carrier pigeon or smoke signal.

DO NOT send her any explanation, justification, rationalization, or premptive reasons for why you are going away. Simply do it. This is the only reasonable course of action here.

Hrang
01-21-2016, 05:10 AM
LBmack, why do you keep tormenting yourself about this girl?

This is getting ridiculous. I think you may need professional help. Seriously, you're wasting your life. If I knew you in person I would make an intervention by now.

I won't even link to "Kill Beatrice (http://www.lovesystems.com/blogs/dating-advice/55064453#_a_4quxtqwffw)" at this point, I am sure someone already has. Just read ChocolatePUA's reply again.

You are wasting your most valuable ressource on this woman. It must stop.

LBmack
01-21-2016, 11:51 AM
Alright guys,

Thanks for the replies. Yea I don't know what my problem is, apparently I have doubts about my ability to do better and need to change my self concept. It's hard for me to let go of past relationships that I cared about when I feel I made mistakes and have regrets around how it ended. Working on this character defect is a top priority right now as I do know I am not doing myself any favors having these thoughts .. I don't want to waste my time as I do know it's my most precious resource .. I know that I need to get over the past with her and my other ex becuase it makes me unhappy to think about and I am blocking good things from coming into my life by continuing to look in the rear view so to speak instead of being present and working on myself towards the future.

ChocolatePUA These two pics were posted 7-8 months ago .. the were not profile pics .. just on my instagram ..

I wont reply to her message.. you're right I don't need a friend like her . She's not a good friend and she went from "I want to he with you for life" to dropping me in an instant when I fell on hard times.. and yea she would make a shitty "friend"

I guess I need to stop trying to control everything. . And realize it's not up to me.. I feel like I should able to be "man enough" or "charming enough" to be friends with anyone but you are right deep down its the desire for another fling with her and attention from her.. watching my social media and messaging me etc. .

I'm working on this .. yea I've been around since 2008 but I've been in long relationships.. I clearly still have a LOT to learn about meeting women and relationships .

Thanks for your help.

ChocolatePUA
01-22-2016, 06:50 AM
Alright guys,

Thanks for the replies. Yea I don't know what my problem is, apparently I have doubts about my ability to do better and need to change my self concept. It's hard for me to let go of past relationships that I cared about when I feel I made mistakes and have regrets around how it ended. Working on this character defect is a top priority right now as I do know I am not doing myself any favors having these thoughts .. I don't want to waste my time as I do know it's my most precious resource .. I know that I need to get over the past with her and my other ex becuase it makes me unhappy to think about and I am blocking good things from coming into my life by continuing to look in the rear view so to speak instead of being present and working on myself towards the future.

ChocolatePUA These two pics were posted 7-8 months ago .. the were not profile pics .. just on my instagram ..

I wont reply to her message.. you're right I don't need a friend like her . She's not a good friend and she went from "I want to he with you for life" to dropping me in an instant when I fell on hard times.. and yea she would make a shitty "friend"

I guess I need to stop trying to control everything. . And realize it's not up to me.. I feel like I should able to be "man enough" or "charming enough" to be friends with anyone but you are right deep down its the desire for another fling with her and attention from her.. watching my social media and messaging me etc. .

I'm working on this .. yea I've been around since 2008 but I've been in long relationships.. I clearly still have a LOT to learn about meeting women and relationships .

Thanks for your help.

Don't worry too much about it bro. I've been in a similar situation myself, so I know how difficult it is to ignore those messages that come in.

Just ignore her. Delete her out of your life. It will hurt, but that's the best way to move on.