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raiyans
12-17-2015, 02:36 AM
2 months and am still having hard time getting over my ex. Been in few dates but still..my mood is swining all over the place.
I am now going to ask her to block me...a, because I have blocked her before b, because if she is the one blocking me I will not be able to add her back and therefore foce myself to move on.

This is the message I prepared,
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Okay, so we tried the friends thing and it didn't work, and the digital friends thing an it didn't work also..am sure its fun ignoring someone's messages but it has to stop now. actually am grateful to u for being tough about the whole thing..sometimes I wish am as strong as you are..we probably should've just done this a year ago and saved ourselves the whole misery that came afterwards .. If you have got no more to say...then u can go ahead and block me from all social media..this way I wont be able to text u even if I wanted to which is best for the both of us. If there is any advise I would have to give u for ur next relationship it would be..be more communicative, don't text every 3rd day and assume the other part will be knowing that ur busy .. .and, be more compassionate for god sakes .. I go to my friends birthday, u two get drunk and he tries to kiss you, not even a month after we broke up..while he comes after me at least to apologize .. You only look at me and say " what r u even doing here " seriously !! ..and and we break up in my bday..I go to my flat feeling all depressed for loosing something which I though was something , to find the electricity is out...and that's how I turn 28 , all alone sad in the dark...the next day I pull every ounce of strength I have to put the slightest smile.. Only to have u and ur friend calling me a negative asshole , I come to apologize the next morning..to have u standing by the door..as I said a thousand time, I would never have held u accountable for feelings change..but u honestly could have handled the situation better .. U r a human not a machine .. And of course , for ur next guy u should be less critical ... I was hurt so bad after I couldn't answer ur questions about the future.. I was under so much pain , and then finally decided to take sometime off, sort my issues before I get back to you..I spend a whole months, meditating and praying at night and applying and studying in the morning .. I was down to my last 100 euros and a miracle happens, I get a job..I am so happy, i call u.. And what do I get,... A complain ... Ur complaining that am still living in a dorm.how shallow is that!!!
Guess that's all, sorry for the long message but since it is my last one...ull have plenty of time to read it. Ofcourae u have a lot of good qualities that attracted me to you...ur pretty, ur smart , ur fun ur cool, so this is just a feedback . and ofcourse, I have done a lot of Shit..no one is perfet but we shall always seek to improve . and to be fair to u, if not for u I would probably be in a much shittier situation ...so am greatful for u even though it was and it still is mostly pain. The only things that I still wanted to talk about I guess are how is it like having a gay brother , yes I knew :p , and how come u never even liked a Facebook photo of mine... Were u that scared that ur family is gonna find out about me ! Well ... The answers will leave to another life time when we both come back as goldfish.
LG
Raiyan

I know it is a bit AFC, but apperantly I am

Duut
12-17-2015, 02:45 AM
Worst idea ever! Don't do it amigo, 2 months is NOTHING! I don't have time to really go into it, but it's never a good Idea to give her tips and telling her what she did wrong. Not in this way anyway.

Manxman
12-17-2015, 07:39 AM
What Duut said. Don't send this mate. It's a terrible message.

It will only make her hate you even more and I promise you. You may think you get some sort of satisfaction when you first send it. But a couple of days down the lie when she's replied telling you how much of an asshole you are or just ignoring you then you'll regret it.

If you really want to get over this girl then just don't contact her. Get out there and pull other women.

raiyans
12-17-2015, 08:24 AM
What Duut said. Don't send this mate. It's a terrible message.

It will only make her hate you even more and I promise you. You may think you get some sort of satisfaction when you first send it. But a couple of days down the lie when she's replied telling you how much of an asshole you are or just ignoring you then you'll regret it.

If you really want to get over this girl then just don't contact her. Get out there and pull other women.

Alright...guess Ill just keep my opinion to my self..I already send stupid messages, In theory I know how stupid it is..but when your brain is craving, you stop to think. I am now 1 week no contact, I will push it to a month and then just simply block her one more time. removing her from my social circle and life once and for all is the way I will reward myself after the 1 month is finished. She really isnt a bad person..she did say stuff about me which was correct so am not angry at her or anything..I am just strggling to get her out of my system for some reason

Lemonjacket
12-17-2015, 05:09 PM
How long were you two together for?

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raiyans
12-18-2015, 01:33 AM
How long were you two together for?

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A year and a half .. And my dearty little secret is the fact that I lost my virginity to her .. So late at 26..no one even knows that..not even her !

Lemonjacket
12-19-2015, 09:45 AM
Then it's not crazy that it still upsets you. You've had a lot of shared experiences. The rule of thumb is that it takes a 1:1 ratio to get over a past relationship. Some people 2:1. As long as you're making strides to meet new girls, date and better yourself, then you're doing everything right. Hang in there.

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Rio
12-19-2015, 12:03 PM
agree with the above, dont send that msg or any other. your mind is just trying to find excuses to communicate with her and ruminate over this shit but its not healthy. move on.

just block her so u dont see her shit and dont add her again. delete her number. unfriend on FB.

also get a life, not just dates but also other activities that interest you and occupy your time, what's killing you is sitting at home thinking about this shit instead of working on urself, u have so much to work on and this is a complete waste of time

raiyans
12-20-2015, 03:40 AM
When I broke up with her I was completely in my center. I was doin so well at work and I liked my job, and I was very happy And that is why I thought I was finally ready to let go. But I was wrong, the break up had a very bad effect on my life overall. I started feeling a bit less motivated at work. got needy since I needed ot be around my friends all the time not to be alone e.t.c. I have to say that if not for this forums, the impact would have been a 100* worse since am always reading the other posts and I know my story is not unque. I also know that am now merely addicted to my ex "exholic".
I have managed to cope with most of the post breakup feelings like anger and depression etc. the only thing I am struggling with is my guilt. I am really feeling guilty about how I handled my ex overall. I can even read some posts where I advised people to do the right things but still didnt follow my advises with my relationship. I think this is the curse of getting better with women. When you get dumped you can not be angry at the women, which generally make things easier, because you know it is only your faults that drove the women away and you can identify them which makes you feel guilty for the supotage you did to your relationship.