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View Full Version : Resparking attraction during a meetup with an ex



armsoforion
12-03-2015, 06:32 PM
Hello everyone,

A few months ago, I broke up with the girl I was seeing for a couple months. I broke up with her, then we agreed to talk about it, then she broke up with me at that point. Since then, we've both moved on—she's seeing a new guy, and I'm at the beginnings of dating a new girl. Anyhow, the ex and I are meeting up in a few days, and I wanted some advice for how to approach that.

I still have feelings for her and would like to at least create some attraction during this meetup. I think she thinks that I want her back, so she's coming at this from the position of control, and will probably put up her defenses if she suspects that I'm trying to make something happen, and while I'm not necessarily trying to make something happen, I'd like to "flip the script" and change that dynamic so that if our situations were to change in the near future, I'd have an advantage.

I'd like her to leave this meetup thinking, "Wow, I forgot how attracted to this guy I am" with a seed of desire planted, thinking of me as confident and not needy, and just wondering if she made the right choice.

I'm looking for some feedback from people who have been in similar situations.

Thanks in advance!

Lemonjacket
12-03-2015, 07:30 PM
You've got a power trip going on here, bro. If all you're looking for is for her to stroke your ego by letting you know she still has feelings for you, you're gonna need to work harder on your inner game. I'm not trying to be condescending, but it's apparent in your writing.

You're with a new girl now, she's with a new guy. So, what does it matter if she's "attracted" or not? The likelihood of you two being together is outside the realm of realistic possibilities. If both of you we're single, it'd be a different story.

Here's the approach you should have: This girl and I had something awesome, let's get together and reminisce on the fun we had. If there are underlying feelings there, that'll be all the attraction you need.

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armsoforion
12-03-2015, 09:21 PM
You've got a power trip going on here, bro. If all you're looking for is for her to stroke your ego by letting you know she still has feelings for you, …

I appreciate the candor, and maybe there is a bit of that, though I'm not really after the ego boost primarily. I just didn't want to set unrealistic expectations for the first post-breakup meetup—just receiving any indicators of interest would be progress. Like you said, it's outside of the realm of realistic possibilities that we'd get together now; I just want to make sure I'm not feeding into any negative notions she has that are leftover from the breakup, and so if I can successfully build attraction, then I know I'm not feeding into any of that negative stuff.

Reading my first post again, I can see that I may not have communicated that well.

Cheers.

Lemonjacket
12-03-2015, 09:34 PM
All good, bro.

Just don't overthinking things. She may not be thinking like that at all. Its likely she misses hanging out and is excited to reconnect. Otherwise, she could've easily avoided seeing you.

The key is, if you're enjoying each other's company, having a good time etc, none of the thoughts you think she may have will even surface, bc she'll be caught up in the positive emotions.

Just remember to go in with no thoughts at all and have fun with an old friend.

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