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View Full Version : my ex now has me by the balls



raiyans
10-29-2015, 10:20 AM
and so I am finally making it to the breakup part of this forums :/ . Started at newbies, then general, then relationships and now unfortunately I am here .
anyways..those who have been following me know that I have recently broke up with my girl.
I have done stupid things in the last days before the breakup like blocking her of facebook because of her being non responsive and what so on. We then got together and broke up and this was not so bad, she suggested to be friends and I agreed. I did not have any intentions of having her back at that point so I thought there would be no harm in it. Next day I met her in a party arranged by a common friend. I was hitting on so many other girls and she got extremely jealous. At one point I was smoking and she came to me and said that she is not sure about me but does not want to hurt me again and that she is looking for someone more energetic etc etc. I did not argue with her nor did i try to demonstrate my self. I just noded my head and listened. Another girl called me at this point so my ex picked up my phone and answered her before the other girl hang up. I was just laughing inside. At that point I got a bit of hope and I became a bit needy. The reason behind my neediness was also how I saw other guys trying to hit on her. She repeatedly pushed them away and I admired that. During the conversation, she told me that her friends are thinking that am not the right person for her and she can do much better. I then started talking normal and starting kino escalating on her. she pushed me away but we had a good laugh throughout the conversation before I started again to kino escalate, I was progressing really well until one of her friends who is also her roommate came and took her away. I told her to stay, held her arm, but with eyes full of tears she pushed me and said that it's time for me to let go of her and leave her alone.
Next day, I was sleeping at my friends place who doesn't live far from her and I invited her for a walk. I told her if she agreed to keep the drama at her room I can take her with me for a walk and that she doesn't need to end our encounters with drama. She rejected the offer. I then waited for the weekend and asked her to go for coffee, again she said she will be out of town which was indeed the case (I look back now and I can see that I have been chasing bit too much). I told her that we need to talk when she is back so that we can discuss things as she was confusing in the party and that she should not listen to her friends etc etc. She said that I am being childish and the breakup was her decision. Since then, I feel that she started resenting me more and more. I have tried to add her back on facebook, but she deleted my request and told me that I have to pay the consequences of my actions. I am really not sure what to do now. I wanted to atleast have a good breakup because I have to see my ex quite often. and I know that since I still have feelings for her, she still has the power to hurt me real bad. I don't mind getting her back..but this looks extremely unlikely at this point. It seems that the closer I try to bring her the further I push her. I will probably get a chance to take her for coffee next week. At the beginning I was thinking about just kissing her the minute I see her, but then this sounded real stupid in my head and I decided to watch less movies from now on. Now I am just thinking about using this date to sort out the hanging issues so that she can re-dump me without feeling the need to hurt me in the future. Just try to apologize for the stupid shit I did when we were together. what do you guys think. Can I get a girl back who's been brainwashed by her friends. Can two people make a clean breakup. I need to focus on my job and my studies and this thing is wasting a lot of my energy and focus. Everybody at work was asking me why am so depressed today which is very rare with me. you can see that this post was written casually and had a bit of humor but deep inside I am pretty hurt as I have been really stupid to my ex at times. I feel as though I have put her in a situation where she had to do this :( . Sometimes I also feel that if she wanted to be friends she wouldn't have started resenting me after the breakup and that she is now shit testing me coz she has feelings still. I have read so many of these disparate posts in the forums, never thought that one day I will be a sender. I think the biggest mistake I made with my ex was too much gaming. at one point I loved her deeply and she did the same and was asking me for more commitment. but I was reading at some forums, never be sure about a relationship so that was my answer to her. "I am not sure". from that moment on, things just went south. In the other posts, I have been told that the relationship was broken and I was advised to quite it anyways. but walking away just seems so hard!!

Victory
10-29-2015, 02:15 PM
First to start with break ups in general are not clean.

In your case, looks like you are confused and are not sure what you want. Do you love this girl and see yourself being with her in long term? If the answer is yes, then this should not be a problem, as you can be honest and express your feelings and can get her back. And, if you are not sure, and the answer is no, then you have to just let her go and stop thinking about her, and go out and meet other girls. You have to know first what you want from this girl and have to stand with your decision.

raiyans
11-01-2015, 06:57 AM
So , she seems to be very upset that I blocked her and broke up with her in an angry moment and here is my plan.
I will meet her
I will admit my fault by saying something along the line of "The last thing I wanted to do is to hurt you or take you forgranted and for that Im sorry"
Then..I will let her know that being friend is a bad idea and that she only wants it because she is scared
I will then propose a timeframe so ill tell her that we carry on for the next months and if things don't work out we part our ways.
I will try to kiss her.
If she denies my kiss attempt or insist on being friends i'll just kill beatrice . so I will just stop all sort of communication and ask her to do the same.
This seems for me as fair and a good plan.