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View Full Version : Pushed a girl away, Please Help



acemcloud
10-11-2015, 08:12 AM
Went out on a couple dates 3 yrs ago, she moved to be closer to her sister. We recconected on FB earlier and started seeing for appts 2-3 weeks (massage theorapy)

Appts ended with hugs and usualy a kiss on the cheek. After months I finaly got her out to dinner, french restaurant romantic setting under tree with wine. Ended the night with a kiss on the lips and with our previous histery I said I love you with her responese being I love you too.

Havnt seen eachother in over 2 months as she finished school and started a new job as a nutrionsist, also holiday time factor

Became emotional and relied upon her. I told her I realy dont care that were not dating and consider you to be a close friend. She stated shes glad were friends and that I dont care that were dating.

I told her I dont mean to be so emotional as I have been going through a rough time here said she is my only friend here and that I miss her. She stated that shes sorry to hear things have been rough and that shes been very busy and making a life change.

I replied what would I do without you (which I have previously stated, she knows how I feel) and we will have more special nights together and always wear the bracelt for good luck (Which i purchased for her Bday July 1).

Her respone was have a good night, I have sent positive txts and an apolagy.

Been 2 plus weeks and no responses. Has anyone eperianced and non responsive girl and how long should I try contacting her ive been told minimum a month.

TheRogue
10-11-2015, 09:14 AM
Before you contact her, you definitely need to work on your inner game and neediness. You told her you loved her after one date? Then got emotionally needy, said you can't live without her, kept texting her with no response, and kept apologizing (for what?). All of these behaviors will push women away and wreck any attraction that they have for you.

As a man, you have to be the stable rock in the relationship (read "way of the superior man", it talks more about that). You can't rely on a woman to be sole emotional support. We can be a primary emotional support for our children, but you don't want to set that frame. When a woman looks for a man, she needs an equal (or better) partner; someone strong she can rely on when things get rough. It's ok to show some emotion, but you gotta have other outlets to deal with them, like meditation, journaling, a therapist if things get really bad, etc. Don't dump all your problems, hopes and dreams on a woman.

In this case, wait at least 3 months, and make some serious changes to your life so you don't get this needy again. If your life is not satisfying, work on your career, pick up some hobbies that you're into, volunteer somewhere, and meet some new friends from those activities. That way, if you do talk to her again, you'll be less likely to fall into the needy behavior that pushed her away in the first place.

acemcloud
10-11-2015, 11:16 AM
Technicaly a 3rd date. But with the signs and statements from her I know we will be friends in the long run. Its just getting by these weeks which is the toughest part. I think what drew me to her was that work occuied all of my time and was working 5 months 12 hrs days withoutt a day off and when we reconnected I was so happy to see somone in my life who I considered a friend and its just been a chllange not talking to her.

ChocolatePUA
10-12-2015, 05:34 AM
Technicaly a 3rd date. But with the signs and statements from her I know we will be friends in the long run. Its just getting by these weeks which is the toughest part. I think what drew me to her was that work occuied all of my time and was working 5 months 12 hrs days withoutt a day off and when we reconnected I was so happy to see somone in my life who I considered a friend and its just been a chllange not talking to her.

Unfortunately it seems as if you have some serious life issues and challenges that will not be easily solved.

As Rogue said, you pushed her away by being far too clingy and needy, and putting too much expectations on her. This probably stems from your lack of emotional support from others, as well as your own ability to cope with whatever you're going through.

You need to be more active, socialize, make more friends and connections. People that you can rely on. People that you trust. It will take a while though, so I encourage you not to RUSH to make friends, but to put yourself in situations where it will be possible.

For the present moment, try to forget about trying to "win her back". Focus on developing yourself, and putting yourself in a position where you no longer "need" her.