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chopchoi
08-06-2015, 10:56 PM
I met a girl online, and we met up earlier this week. It went o.k.

We chatted for two hours, and we had so much in common. Then we started making out in the bar. We took a break, and were just sitting there, admiring the view from the balcony, and she asked me what I was thinking. I said, "I'm thinking that I like you a lot." Then we made out some more, and I tried to get her to come home with me. She said she had to work early, and my place was too far. I said, "what about your place?" She said she couldn't because she had room mates, so she wouldn't bring a guy home unless he was her bf. I said, "I can be your bf." She asked how I could feel that way on the first date. I said I knew it was weird, but that I'd never found so much in common with someone on the first date before (I always tell the truth when I'm drunk, and it always fucks up my game), so I'd be willing to give it a chance to see how it goes. She said she wished I lived closer, and asked if I had any other ideas. I suggested we go to a hotel, but she said she didn't want to hook up in a rented room. I asked what she suggested, and she said we should wait till next time. The problem is, she's about to go on holiday for three weeks. So, I asked if she had any time before she left. She said maybe Friday night. That night she texted me that she had a great time. I told her I did too, and wished her a sweet dreams.

The next day, I didn't text her at all. I just felt like I went too far the night before, and so I should create a bit of distance so she doesn't feel like I'm totally up her ass.

Now it's Friday, and I had to text her to see if we were still on for tonight. I thought about chatting her up a bit before asking, but then I thought, she's gonna know my real reason is to find out if we're on for tonight or not, so that will make it awkward. Better to just ask directly.

She said she's meeting friends for dinner, and doesn't know what time she will finish.

This is a slippery answer, because she doesn't agree to meet, but kinda leaves open the possibility of meeting me after dinner.

Normally I would just make other plans and not sweat meeting her tonight, but she has serious gf potential, and I'd really like to close the deal before she goes on holiday. But it's awkward because if I'm available to meet her with such short notice, that makes me a loser with nothing to do on a Friday night. Is there any way to solve this?

Duut
08-07-2015, 03:03 AM
You need to calm down and ask yourself what is the real reason you like this girl. You guys had 1 date, so if you had a lot of things in common, great. But you basically asked her to be your girlfriend on the first date. Also you tried too much when proposing a hotel to hook up. This all shows you have no other options, and pretty desperate. I would be surprised if you will see her again at all, but if you 2 stay in contact drop your investment level. If she felt the same she would've make time or given you a firm yes/no but the excuse she gave you is in my experience a polite no.

Shofixti
08-07-2015, 03:14 AM
Yes, saying "I like you" too early is definitely an attraction killer. Also, chatting up before asking out is generally a good idea, it allows you to bring back at least some playful energy before she has to make a decision.

Remember, women are all emotion, so what was a great idea 15 minutes ago, might not be so attractive now. Keep measuring buying temperature and escalating as needed.

chopchoi
08-07-2015, 03:41 AM
I get what you say about most of it, but I am not sure about this one:


Also you tried too much when proposing a hotel to hook up. This all shows you have no other options, and pretty desperate.

It was midnight, so what other options was I supposed to have if we can't go to her place or my place? And you can get a decent hotel for $50. It's pretty cheap, so how does that make me look desperate?

Also, I am curious if I should follow up with her about maybe meeting tonight. Like maybe text her and see how her dinner is going, say I'm out with friends also, and if we get a good rapport going, try to get her to meet up.

Or maybe I should just leave it alone?

Shofixti
08-07-2015, 06:30 AM
It was midnight, so what other options was I supposed to have if we can't go to her place or my place? And you can get a decent hotel for $50. It's pretty cheap, so how does that make me look desperate?


It was not the hotel per se, but the logical chain: "My place? No. Your place? No. Hotel? No". It appears like you are desperate to bang her on the first date.

How did you try to get her home to your place? Did you use a plausible deniability excuse?

Duut
08-07-2015, 08:05 AM
It was midnight, so what other options was I supposed to have if we can't go to her place or my place? And you can get a decent hotel for $50. It's pretty cheap, so how does that make me look desperate?


Exactly what Shofixti said. When your place and her place is a no go then just leave it. Except when you guys are really intensively making out and you can see she is super horny then you could propose it but at that time it would also be a possibility to fuck her outside somewhere I guess.

What it comes down to is that you put sex too high on your to do list and will make you look like a frustrated guy.

Read your post where you quoted me again, you should see that it's desperate.

gq1
09-08-2015, 12:52 AM
Your desperation to "close the deal" (ugg that phrase is so horrible) means you are much less likely to have sex with her on the next date.

I don't understand what her being "serious gf potential" has to do with your impatience on this.