View Full Version : Should I be glad to be rid of her?

08-05-2015, 07:34 PM
I’ve been falling apart ever since my girlfriend and I split and I would love some advice/understanding.

We were together for 6 months - she is 20, I am 24. We spent a lot of time together and with her family and went on an incredible holiday.

She would tell me very intense things such as: “I feel as though I’ve met my soulmate; I want to spend the rest of my life with you”, “if I was to get pregnant now, I might not have an abortion” etc. She also wrote these things in a diary meant only for herself, according to her sister, so I think she must have believed it at the time.

We agreed to try and make things work at distance when we headed off to university (after 6 months of being together) and again she wrote how much she wanted it to work. However, after a week she had stopped messaging me. She called me on one occasion, saying how terrified she was of “messing things up” or me finding someone else. Up until the end of the first week she was still sending messages saying “you’re my world”, “I miss your mind, body and soul” etc.

I decided to go and visit after 2 weeks and we prearranged a time. However, as I was leaving to make the 4 hour drive, I sent a text to confirm and she cancelled, saying she wouldn’t be home. She hadn’t even remembered I was visiting! I went the next day after she had apologised but she still asked me to pick some things up from her house and bring them (so I assumed she couldn’t possibly be ending it). I arrived to find her in tears, although she would not say why. We agreed to go for a meal but she spent most of the time looking at her phone, sending messages to her new friends and to some random guy, as though she didn’t even care I was there.

When we arrived home, I demanded to know what was going on. She said she had gone home with the guy she was messaging the night before and “cuddled” although insisted nothing had happened. We ended there and then, telling each other how much we meant, both crying and her sobbing her heart out saying “I won’t say goodbye, this is just goodbye for now”. However, a few days later, she was posting messages online saying things like ‘Best Mood Ever!’.

Essentially I believe that she thought she meant everything she was saying at the time, but went away and found someone more compatible (we didn’t share a sense of humour or much conversation, just great sex). I also believe that she was a touch infatuated, feeling mostly lust. What I want to know is what you think about what happened? Was this a sh*t way to act or just an immature girl at college?

08-05-2015, 08:18 PM
She is young and wants to have fun. College experience is quite transformative, but sometimes leaves old life in shambles. Embrace the memories you had together and move on at the same time. Meet other women, who are more aligned with what you want from your life.

08-05-2015, 08:48 PM
Sorry man, that sucks. At least be glad she showed her true colors right away instead of dragging out the relationship and eating up your college years with games and drama. College is an awesome time to be single, develop your personality, and meet lots of new people. Now you can do that without any anchors weighing you down.

As far as why she did what she did... hard to tell, but I'll lean towards the "immature girl at college" who goes crazy as soon as she's away from home. She's in the stage where she needs to develop her personality too, so just let her do that. So far, it's not looking too hot...

It's also that magic 6-month mark where the honeymoon period ends and compatibility becomes far more important. Probably the long distance, combined with the end of the honeymoon, and the raging hormones of college did her in.

What you gotta do now is delete her number, remove her from all social media accounts, and go full no-contact. This will help you get over her faster and focus on your new life: meeting new friends, studying up for an awesome career, and enjoying all the benefits college life has to offer (new girls!)

Good luck,


08-06-2015, 04:27 PM
She´s 20. Just off to college/university whatever.
Like most young women that age, she has very little experience in life - so all her heavy words about your relationship were probably true. In THAT moment.
Now she´s away from you. New fun things happen. New experiences. New reality.

She also seems immature and has the loyalty and attention span of a puppy with ADHD.
Hence it only took her a few days to forget you were supposed to visit.
TheRogue said it well.
I´ll just add: Sorry, man. I know this stings. But move on.
Immature women are easy to come by, so she´s not exactly made it hard for you to find someone better.