View Full Version : The Ex's birthday

07-23-2015, 11:20 AM
This is a question about the more PUA move, or at least the one that garners the most respect post-breakup, nothing to do with getting back with her. I don't want to come off like a sociopath obsessed with keeping the upper hand, however, looking at the breakup as objective as possible and the relationship in general, I pretty well had my nuts in her purse. To the point....
My birthday was on the first of this month, hers was yesterday. She sent me a text on mine, saying "Happy birthday diddlydoo! Hope you've had a good one in this heat". Obviously there was no substance to it, which I'm sure took plenty of thought on her part. I responded with a "thanks (insert name)!". That was it. Fast-forward three weeks to hers, I didn't wish her a happy birthday, thought about it a lot during the day and I felt relatively shitty about disregarding her small reaching out to me. I just kept reminding myself of the shit she pulled though, and am really looking for some backing in that department, or a reality check by one of you guys that gives me enough perspective to save face and wish her a happy bday a day late...Background info:
Our breakup was "amicable", however, what led up to it was her lying to me in a way that was extremely disrespectful. I ignored her for four days, she went out on two of those nights acting like she didn't do anything wrong, and then proceeded to "dump me" by saying I was the one treating her like shit by ignoring her (she did reach out one day but still in a manner that showed zero remorse for lying). I put her in her place by telling her to quit being emotional, to which she complied and we talked and then split up. You can find details in some of my other posts but in general, trust me when I say that she disrespected the shit out of me and the relationship.
Post break-up she rebounded with someone after only a week of being broken up (see "dumped for a pending pro athlete"), and as many of you predicted she's now single after dating him for ~6 months. So, does it look better to leave her hanging or to say something short for her bday? Having trouble deciding which one tells her I'm over it

07-23-2015, 11:56 AM
Ignore, what is the point of saying something? Better yet why in the world are you even thinking about this so long? She is not worth the thought if I read this.

07-23-2015, 11:57 AM
It often amazes me how people (and myself included back in the day) have a hard time figuring out if we should be on speaking terms and hand out PC clichées to people who treated us like crap - or with whom we had a bad breakup and/or are better off not talking to.

If your neighbor burned down your backyard, would you have a nice conversation with him 2 weeks later while walking your dog?
If someone cheated you in business would you chitchat with that person after that?

In your case, it would seem that your ex contacted you to "put a toe in the bathwater" as we say in Denmark.
Meaning; testing the waters.
It´s a low-investment, polite, upbeat message with many potential purposes:
A lame and underwhelming excuse. An invitation for a dialogue. A test to see if she still has some control over you. A test to see if you´re mad at her. Etc etc.

As for you:
If you´re on GOOD terms and/or want to re-connect - or if for some reason you want to have a "neutral" relationship with her, go ahead and send something low-investment to her.
Otherwise don´t.

07-26-2015, 10:55 AM
Post break-up she rebounded with someone after only a week of being broken up (see "dumped for a pending pro athlete"), and as many of you predicted she's now single after dating him for ~6 months. So, does it look better to leave her hanging or to say something short for her bday? Having trouble deciding which one tells her I'm over it

The full story background for this, if any need to read is here..

And as expected, she is doing exactly what I said would happen and do. Personally mate, I'll say it again..

1. Move on. If you even try to resume, understand the message you are sending to her.

"I lack self worth, low value, and I love girls treating me like shit, dumping my ass and then convers with me. AND I have lack of options i.e. no girls are chasing me."

People messed around in other parts of their life and never do business or even talk to that person - and yet - when it's pussy, guys suddenly act so different and need answers on what to do ----- when evidence is clear in the girl's behavior, what she did and so on.

2. Personally, you got a screw loose if a girl treated you like shit and want to even resume contact with her. After all drama and BS.

You don't need anymore drama in your life man.

Move on. Do not initiate response.

When you focus on the past, there is a price to pay. You LOSE THE FUTURE! She is the past and a past that treated you like shit.

Move on like a man with balls. Do not engage, respond.

I have now said it. The rest is your choice but be warned. I was right before. I'm right again about this too.

07-28-2015, 04:37 AM
Rocky and lassebauer nailed it , do not give her any attention or feel pity that's a girl that treated you shit, she is not worth a regret . If its the same girl from the post Rocky mentioned then I told you she will last only 3 month with a pro athlete, Actually you should be feeling good that you dumped that trash and freed yourself from future disappointments.

07-28-2015, 12:24 PM
Do not send. You're obviously a nice guy, and for nice people, it kind of kills us not to be nice. But, you know what? Not nice people don't feel the same way. The relationship is over, that means contact is over. Do not send.

08-03-2015, 05:30 AM
Don't do it, I texted my ex on her Birthday last week and she didn't even bother to reply as she was busy. So even if you still give a shit, she doesn't and you will end up feeling like crap for a couple of days cos she will always treat you like crap my friend.

Move on and be happy you aren't with her anymore, you will get over it and feel better soon. This time next year, you won't even care.

08-08-2015, 01:09 AM
She chose to wish you a happy birthday, and you chose not to. That's fine.

07-22-2016, 08:27 AM
It's funny I'm reading this again almost a year later, how stupid that question even sounds. I just got on here to post something new and went back in time a bit. A 364 day late "thank you" for all of your responses. Cheers.

09-03-2016, 02:23 AM
Hey! I don't think there's any point in doing so. So just let it be.