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View Full Version : How do I look coming out of this relationship?



Fernando2826
07-09-2015, 09:18 AM
So my ex and I broke up a while ago - she ended things badly, due to distance - possibly cheating & then sitting in front of me texting the other guy during the breakup.

When we broke up she was a wreck but I kept my composure for the most part. Went NC immediately - no begging, no texting etc. - she spoke to me a couple of times over the next two months. I responded (fb showed I had seen her messages) so as not to look butt hurt kept both convos brief, light and fun before ending them myself. I couldn't get past the pain though so I defriended her.

A few days pass later she texts me asking why I did it, saying she was hurt. Again, kept my responses brief, saying that it was fairer to new partners. She got pretty upset, saying she thought the brekup had been amicable and she hoped said new girl made me as happy as I had made her etc. I told her we had made each other happy but felt it best to go nc for a while. So, to me, it seemed that I came out looking strong - seeing new girl, not hung up, told her I wanted to walk away, at least for a while.

Anyway, a few days later she calls me and says the whole thing felt like she had been thrown on the rubbish, that she was hurting, had been missing me somewhat etc. I told her it wasn't meant to hurt her but that the breakup had hit me hard initially and that I didn't want to see her updates/her moving on.

We then ran into one another and it was awkward as hell, in fact she went out of her way to avoid conversation.

Anyway, a few months later, I decide there's no point in keeping the veil down so readded her on fb. She immediately phones me (I didn't pick up), then texts me asking about a car accident she had heard about and asking to meet up. I agreed (again to show that I was not hurting, was looking and doing well) and we went for a walk. Trussed myself up, kept conversation light, fun and flirtatious and showed no signs of weakness as far as I'm aware.

So, all in all, how have I come out of it? Do I look weak at all?

Cheers Bros.

Trauko
07-09-2015, 03:12 PM
IMO to her you look good. But deep down it appears to me that you are still struggling.

Fernando2826
07-09-2015, 04:10 PM
IMO to her you look good. But deep down it appears to me that you are still struggling.

Right on the money, my friend. Cheers for the reply. Glad I look strong to her though.

lassebauer
07-10-2015, 04:38 AM
Why is it even important to you how you look to her?

Fernando2826
07-14-2015, 06:38 AM
Why is it even important to you how you look to her?


I suppose I'm still interested in having her respect. And I would like to think that there would be a possibility of restarting things if ever logistics made it possible.

rockycruz
07-17-2015, 08:59 AM
I suppose I'm still interested in having her respect. And I would like to think that there would be a possibility of restarting things if ever logistics made it possible.

You know all this is telling me you haven't moved on and you got some issues to sort out and one of them, is why you give a shit about her respect?

Then she plays the bs guilt trip...*


Anyway, a few days later she calls me and says the whole thing felt like she had been thrown on the rubbish, that she was hurting, had been missing me somewhat etc.

Then you fall for the "excuse" and this one was the accident and you went ahead to meet. Why? To win her respect. To prove something? I wont give a shit and moved on. Too busy dating other girls than trying to get respect from her

Mate, who you kidding here?

Why care so muuch to win her respect?

She is going to use YOU as a TAMPON to get over you and thats where this respect is going to take you. If you live in the past and pretend you live in present then it will cost you the FUTURE.

You dont need to explain squat to her or even respond. Thats not butthurt. Thats self respect!

Forget her respecting you and start respecting yourself and approach and date tons of women. Your behavior does not match a guy has moved on but still emtionally invested in her.