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xslim12
03-15-2015, 03:44 PM
I have only been out once in the last two weeks, so I was looking forward to going out on Friday night. I went out with my brother and friend to a bar that is known to have tons of talent.

There was an HB9 looking for her friend. As I am passing by her, I tell her I am right here. She stops looking for her friend and we continue our conversation. During the convo, she would intermittently look at her phone to see if her friend is trying to find her. Anyways, to keep things short, I hit it off with this girl. Hit comfort very well with her, kinoed with prolonged high fives leading to intertwined fingers, and inserted activities we would do in the future, which she complied with. I could have brought this girl back to my place, but would have been a logistical nightmare (given she had work next morning, me not knowing her friend and the distance to my place). I ended grabbing her number and gave her a euro style kiss on the cheek bye.

I texted her the next day given I felt that it would be best to continue to build on the energy. Convo below:

Me: Hey there belly dancer. It is Slim
HB9: Hi Slim :)
Me: I know you had work today but you should have come to the beach with me instead
HB9: How fun
HB9: I wish
*at this point, I just put it off given that I did not know how to respond.
HB9: (same day, 50 min later):I am done with a promo right now and came to support a fashion show where friends are modeling
Slim: Sounds fun. Do you need some arm candy to show off at the fashion show? ;p

I got not response from her after that. I am not freaking out or anything because I am confident that I can recover from this and get a date setup as she was interested in meeting up again (although things could change). I should be keeping her in that frame of mind.

What I want to know is do you guys think my text at the end was bad? Would like some opinions to just improve my text game as it is my weakest point.

-Slim

WillisWillis
03-18-2015, 09:07 PM
Me: Hey there belly dancer. It is Slim
HB9: Hi Slim :)
Me: I know you had work today but you should have come to the beach with me instead
HB9: How fun
HB9: I wish
*at this point, I just put it off given that I did not know how to respond.
HB9: (same day, 50 min later):I am done with a promo right now and came to support a fashion show where friends are modeling
Slim: Sounds fun. Do you need some arm candy to show off at the fashion show? ;p

What I want to know is do you guys think my text at the end was bad?

-Slim
How long has it been since you sent the last text, and has she replied? If she hasn't, my guess is that your text sounded strange to her. I think you still have a chance to get her out because she responded to your earlier messages and tried to keep the conversation going after you quit responding. I'd wait a day or two and try to re-initiate. If she's responsive to your texts, invite her out.

Snupas
03-18-2015, 10:29 PM
Personally I don't think your last text was bad if she didn't want you to come with why would she tell you about the show , on the other side you might have been too eager to agree as she could have sent this text as a shit test.
In any case I also doubt that you lost this girl :-)

Maff
03-19-2015, 04:17 AM
I think you're doing OK but the last text was something a flirty, confident GIRL would say.
Never say or do anything that is mainly associated with the fairer sex (posting selfies on FB, using multiple exclamation marks in texts, etc.).
Stay masculine.

xslim12
03-19-2015, 04:07 PM
Snupas, I actually did not notice that her text can be interpreted as invite until now. Same with my text reciprocating it. I was just teasing and had no desire to meet up with her.

To all, I followed up with her couple days later. It went well then I said something pretty weird. Texted her the next day with an inside joke and she was responsive. Kept it short to not look desperate. I did not send the last text this time.

She is a medium fuse right now and will see how things go. I started reading the ultimate guide to texting again. Realized I have been fucking up on a lot.

-Slim

WillisWillis
03-19-2015, 05:52 PM
Snupas, I actually did not notice that her text can be interpreted as invite until now. Same with my text reciprocating it. I was just teasing and had no desire to meet up with her.

To all, I followed up with her couple days later. It went well then I said something pretty weird. Texted her the next day with an inside joke and she was responsive. Kept it short to not look desperate. I did not send the last text this time.

She is a medium fuse right now and will see how things go. I started reading the ultimate guide to texting again. Realized I have been fucking up on a lot.

-Slim

I'd ask her out the next time the two of you talk. If she's still responding, there's no sense in sending a bunch of pointless texts. Don't get too caught up in that fuse theory stuff, either, which I think they also say in the texting guide. I've had girls who send delayed text messages happily accept dates.

xslim12
03-19-2015, 10:08 PM
I am not as caught up with it. I actually asked her for drinks with the follow up and got no response. So I am going to give it a little bit more time until I go at it again.

I agree with you though. I have had the same experience of girls being willing to go out even with delayed responses.

xslim12
03-20-2015, 04:22 PM
Follow up (if someone can teach me how to transfer convos on my iphone would be great).

Me: Hey dork ;p
Her: Hi
Her: How are you
Me: Doing good. Looking forward to getting out of this office
Me: How are you
Her: I bet
her: I am good thanks
her: in traffic
Me: I know the feeling. That is why i am buying a helicopter
her: ha
Her: Good one
Me: I can have my drive (or would be flier) give you a ride but i feel like i barely know you <---- so many typos and grammar errors here
Her: What?
Me: I can give you a ride in my helicopter but i feel like I still barely know you
Her: Well first buy it
Her: Lol
Her: I dont go to santa monica really
Her: (her city) is kind of far
Me: Minus one point. I live in hollywood
Her: Thats cool
Her: Send me your driver so we can go on a date :)
Her: Lol one day when I get my own driver you wont have to do that anymore haha
Her 3 min later, i slowed down the response time: I feel better I needed to ear
Me: We might have to wait on the driver but lets grab drinks sunday night
Her: I dont know about drinks... may be we can do dinner
Me: How about I kick your butt in pool instead
Me: I am not a fan of going out to dinner for the first night

My text was sent about 20 min ago. She has taken longer than usual to respond. Will keep you guys updated.

WillisWillis
03-21-2015, 08:42 PM
Follow up (if someone can teach me how to transfer convos on my iphone would be great).
Her: Send me your driver so we can go on a date :)
Her: Lol one day when I get my own driver you wont have to do that anymore haha
Her 3 min later, i slowed down the response time: I feel better I needed to ear
Me: We might have to wait on the driver but lets grab drinks sunday night
Her: I dont know about drinks... may be we can do dinner
Me: How about I kick your butt in pool instead
Me: I am not a fan of going out to dinner for the first night

My text was sent about 20 min ago. She has taken longer than usual to respond. Will keep you guys updated.
It sounds like she's interested, but I think you wasted a few too many messages explaining yourself. After she suggested dinner I would have said, "How about I kick your butt in pool instead. grab a candy bar on the way. meet me at X at 7."

If she replies to your last text, set up the date. Have a time and a place picked out. Good luck, dude.

xslim12
03-22-2015, 09:56 AM
She did not end up responding. Thinking of two options, freezing out for a week or two because of her lack of compliance (to see if she chases or reaches out to me) or calling her today to set it up in a manner that you said WillisWillis

WillisWillis
03-22-2015, 10:14 AM
She did not end up responding. Thinking of two options, freezing out for a week or two because of her lack of compliance (to see if she chases or reaches out to me) or calling her today to set it up in a manner that you said WillisWillis
I'd lay low for a week. If she reaches out, you're in. If not, invite her out next week. You'll known where you stand based on her answer.

Just don't be too eager. I have the same problem, so I know you want to push for the date.

xslim12
03-24-2015, 12:50 PM
I'd lay low for a week. If she reaches out, you're in. If not, invite her out next week. You'll known where you stand based on her answer.

Just don't be too eager. I have the same problem, so I know you want to push for the date.

Something came up with work anyways, so if we did have it, I would have flaked. I have two girls I am talking to know so the eagerness is not there. Going to go for a week of NC and see what happens. If she does not initiate, I will re initiate with something that is low investment.

WillisWillis
03-24-2015, 03:43 PM
Going to go for a week of NC and see what happens. If she does not initiate, I will re initiate with something that is low investment.
Good call. I asked a girl out last month after a couple days of texting. She turned me down with a lame excuse, so I went to radio silence. A week later she re-initiated, then I called and set up a date. Refusing to shower girls with attention tends to humble them, or at least make them wonder why you're not chasing.

xslim12
03-24-2015, 04:00 PM
Good call. I asked a girl out last month after a couple days of texting. She turned me down with a lame excuse, so I went to radio silence. A week later she re-initiated, then I called and set up a date. Refusing to shower girls with attention tends to humble them, or at least make them wonder why you're not chasing.

Girls like that chase as well. Through my time, I have realized patience is a key characteristic with getting girls.

WillisWillis
03-24-2015, 04:05 PM
Girls like that chase as well. Through my time, I have realized patience is a key characteristic with getting girls.

It's taken me nearly three years of practice to develop that patience. Getting rejected over and over has that effect.

xslim12
03-24-2015, 04:38 PM
It's taken me nearly three years of practice to develop that patience. Getting rejected over and over has that effect.

I agree. You definitely begin to have the mentality of its only a girl. I don't how I put them on a pedestal in the past.

xslim12
04-01-2015, 07:46 PM
I ended up texting this girl about an hour ago. I was thinking about it yesterday and felt that I did not incorporate enough push/pull in the exchanges we had to warrant her reinitiating if I dropped off for a week or two.

I texted her "Are you alive?" to just gauge her interest levels. Will see what happens.

On a funny note: Went out on a tinder date last night. Girl looked like a 7 in pictures and was more like a 4 in person. It was horrible but still friendly lol. Going to try to befriend this girl though, we have common interests in music and culture.

WillisWillis
04-01-2015, 08:48 PM
I ended up texting this girl about an hour ago. I was thinking about it yesterday and felt that I did not incorporate enough push/pull in the exchanges we had to warrant her reinitiating if I dropped off for a week or two.

I texted her "Are you alive?" to just gauge her interest levels. Will see what happens.
Nah, you're over-thinking things. Radio silence intrigues them, and they reach out more often than you'd think because of it. Conversely, I've chased several girls away by re-initiating after they quit texting me. But if you just reached out today, then you waited a week, so maybe there's a chance.

By the way, I would have gone with, "made you look." or maybe some random, funny observation from your day. Either one allows you to test the waters without sounding needy. Your text implies that you've been expecting to hear from her and are disappointed that you haven't.


On a funny note: Went out on a tinder date last night. Girl looked like a 7 in pictures and was more like a 4 in person. It was horrible but still friendly lol. Going to try to befriend this girl though, we have common interests in music and culture.
One of the many reasons I've given up on internet dating. I have better luck with real approaches and in my social circle, anyway.

xslim12
04-01-2015, 09:32 PM
Nah, you're over-thinking things. Radio silence intrigues them, and they reach out more often than you'd think because of it. Conversely, I've chased several girls away by re-initiating after they quit texting me. But if you just reached out today, then you waited a week, so maybe there's a chance.

By the way, I would have gone with, "made you look." or maybe some random, funny observation from your day. Either one allows you to test the waters without sounding needy. Your text implies that you've been expecting to hear from her and are disappointed that you haven't.


One of the many reasons I've given up on internet dating. I have better luck with real approaches and in my social circle, anyway.

It's funny that you mention the neediness the text implies. Even though I wasn't really expecting much, I realized the message it sent literally seconds after I sent it.

After I sent it, I wish I sent something else. Been a couple hours and no response. If no response, what do you suggest?

This weekend might be chill, not really going out.

WillisWillis
04-01-2015, 10:08 PM
It's funny that you mention the neediness the text implies. Even though I wasn't really expecting much, I realized the message it sent literally seconds after I sent it.

After I sent it, I wish I sent something else. Been a couple hours and no response. If no response, what do you suggest?
You know the answer to that, homie. Just match her silence. If she gets back to you at some point, text her a bit and try to set up a date if she seems interested. In the meantime, hit up the two other girls you were talking to; plan dates with both of them on separate days, if you can swing it.


This weekend might be chill, not really going out.
Fuck "going out." Go grab some food and challenge your waitress to a game of thumb war. Buy a bag of skittles at the drug store, then crumple up the receipt and throw it at your cashier's face, if she's a cute girl. Worst case, you amuse yourself for 30 seconds and you have a funny story to tell later. Best case, you amuse yourself for 30 seconds and you have a funny story to tell later--and you get a number.