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View Full Version : What does a girl mean when she says "I'm not ready for a relationship right now"



Uzi2014
12-08-2014, 04:42 PM
Hi guys,

Since the year is nearly over I am reflecting on two particular girls I "dated".

The first girl we dated for about 2 months. She would text me about 10 times before I had even woken up, we texted over 7,000 times in 2 months, as well as phone calls. We were having sex(which was a big deal as she had only ever been with 1 other person, her ex bf of 6 years). Then when it was summer break she had to move back home from where she was studying(London where I live) and she was unsure if she was coming back because it depended on her getting back into dance school in London. So she decided to call it off.

What she said was generic she said "I'm not ready for a relationship" and my response was like "wtf, we were just seeing how it goes I have never ever asked where is this going or said we have to get into a relationship NOW. If you are coming back to London, I would've like to continue seeing you."

She acted confused, said we can still see what happens, then went back to being negative and saying she probably wouldn't get into dance school. She got back into dance school and now she is dating a guy who goes to uni 3 hours away from her, and lives with his parents in a town 4 hours away from her. So her distance excuse with me was stupid.

The 2nd girl I met online also said "I'm not ready for a relationship". She would call me for 4 hours everyday for a month. We flirted, I told her I was into her, we arranged a date. She even said I better not be your bit on the side, I don't want just sex etc. She would always say she is lonely etc and spent so much money (phone bills, train ticket) I thought something would definitely come of it.

We finally went on a date, then 2 days after the date she texts me saying she has been thinking of how to tell me she "isn't ready for a relationship as she has just got out of a long one"

I thought to myself why spend all that time and effort talking to me everyday, flirting, spending money and then say that.

So what does "I'm not ready" mean, to me it sounds generic?

Ps: In the meantime I have been having success with girls in clubs who are not gf material at all, but I haven't had any success when pursuing a relationship. Odd.

CowboyCasanova
12-08-2014, 06:26 PM
My guess - They both met someone else they like better. They aren't even close by. Forget them.

rockycruz
12-11-2014, 09:06 AM
Then when it was summer break she had to move back home from where she was studying(London where I live) and she was unsure if she was coming back because it depended on her getting back into dance school in London. So she decided to call it off.

That was when she met some guy. She was confused on how to break it to you.


What she said was generic she said "I'm not ready for a relationship" and my response was like "wtf, we were just seeing how it goes I have never ever asked where is this going or said we have to get into a relationship NOW. If you are coming back to London, I would've like to continue seeing you."

When she said she's not ready for a relationship, she was saying in woman talk, "I'm not into you. And you didn't get the message which is why this next step happened....


She acted confused, said we can still see what happens, then went back to being negative and saying she probably wouldn't get into dance school. She got back into dance school and now she is dating a guy who goes to uni 3 hours away from her, and lives with his parents in a town 4 hours away from her. So her distance excuse with me was stupid.

She wasn't confused. She was more like thinking, "shit, better tone this down and make him feel better. I don't want a confrontation."

So she said, "we can still see what happens," as a way to give you validation to ease down the part when she lets go of you.

For example, when guys approach women, the needy guys, she will smile, and then she will reject the guy by a smile, a touch on his arm or just a smile, being polite to give him a little validation.

It's woman way to avoid awkward confrontation. They've been through past experiences when guys couldn't take a no.

Or she will say,

[I]Thanks. Oh, got to go, meeting my friends
Thanks. Oh, sorry got to go, so busy
I got a boyfriend[
Aww. Thanks. Oh, got to go, meeting someone./I]


The 2nd girl I met online also said "I'm not ready for a relationship". She would call me for 4 hours everyday for a month.

You screw up big time there. 4 hours on phone, texting, flirting? You need to slow down a bit and stop giving so much to someone who hasn't earned it yet. I don't mean don't text but you need to give small dozes, and be on phone only a minute, and not everyday or you will be seen needy, have low value, and desperate. It's like you got no life.


She even said I better not be your bit on the side, I don't want just sex etc.

She qualified you and you chased. Instead of other way round. I bet you didn't even neg her back but just let her speak or text you that way, and TOLD YOU how it goes. So you chased, fell for the trap, spend money, long phone calls and made her perceive she has HIGHER VALUE than you.


texts me saying she has been thinking of how to tell me she "isn't ready for a relationship as she has just got out of a long one"

Same as I said before. "I'm not into you."

She got the attention she wanted. She got her trophy. She got a guy spending all that time, phone calls, money on travel without qualifying, and got the guy come all way down to meet her.

Mission accomplished and now, she's bored. She'll do it to the next guy until she meets a guy, who knows how to deal with her and get her to travel all the way to...him.

Or he'll say, "Oh, you live in that city? I'm going down due to a job (or to meet some friends), maybe, if I have time, we might meet for an hour. Depends on my what's happening and how to fit you in."


I thought to myself why spend all that time and effort talking to me everyday, flirting, spending money and then say that.

Well, I don't spend money, time like that, and all that much effort over a woman on first date. I get them to chase me. Damn if I'll travel for a woman and or make her THINK I am traveling for hours[B]just for her/B],

When women perceive they got higher value than you, it's over. It's just a matter of time when you meet them, and it's over after a few days.


but I haven't had any success when pursuing a relationship. Odd.

Take sometime, learn more. Don't be in a rush with relationship. You're the type of guy who falls all over a girl, and give everything and surround your ife around the girl. So you need to first get things sorted. Especially when attracting a 10, you need to be ready and you're not ready yet mate from the looks of it.

I know I'm being harsh and you might think I'm a dick, but reflect on my answers and look back, observe the steps again, and you'll see there are things to learn, to adjust within you.

Uzi2014
12-11-2014, 10:50 AM
That was when she met some guy. She was confused on how to break it to you.



When she said she's not ready for a relationship, she was saying in woman talk, "I'm not into you. And you didn't get the message which is why this next step happened....



She wasn't confused. She was more like thinking, "shit, better tone this down and make him feel better. I don't want a confrontation."

So she said, "we can still see what happens," as a way to give you validation to ease down the part when she lets go of you.

For example, when guys approach women, the needy guys, she will smile, and then she will reject the guy by a smile, a touch on his arm or just a smile, being polite to give him a little validation.

It's woman way to avoid awkward confrontation. They've been through past experiences when guys couldn't take a no.

Or she will say,

[I]Thanks. Oh, got to go, meeting my friends
Thanks. Oh, sorry got to go, so busy
I got a boyfriend[
Aww. Thanks. Oh, got to go, meeting someone./I]



You screw up big time there. 4 hours on phone, texting, flirting? You need to slow down a bit and stop giving so much to someone who hasn't earned it yet. I don't mean don't text but you need to give small dozes, and be on phone only a minute, and not everyday or you will be seen needy, have low value, and desperate. It's like you got no life.



She qualified you and you chased. Instead of other way round. I bet you didn't even neg her back but just let her speak or text you that way, and TOLD YOU how it goes. So you chased, fell for the trap, spend money, long phone calls and made her perceive she has HIGHER VALUE than you.



Same as I said before. "I'm not into you."

She got the attention she wanted. She got her trophy. She got a guy spending all that time, phone calls, money on travel without qualifying, and got the guy come all way down to meet her.

Mission accomplished and now, she's bored. She'll do it to the next guy until she meets a guy, who knows how to deal with her and get her to travel all the way to...him.

Or he'll say, "Oh, you live in that city? I'm going down due to a job (or to meet some friends), maybe, if I have time, we might meet for an hour. Depends on my what's happening and how to fit you in."



Well, I don't spend money, time like that, and all that much effort over a woman on first date. I get them to chase me. Damn if I'll travel for a woman and or make her THINK I am traveling for hours[B]just for her/B],

When women perceive they got higher value than you, it's over. It's just a matter of time when you meet them, and it's over after a few days.



Take sometime, learn more. Don't be in a rush with relationship. You're the type of guy who falls all over a girl, and give everything and surround your ife around the girl. So you need to first get things sorted. Especially when attracting a 10, you need to be ready and you're not ready yet mate from the looks of it.

I know I'm being harsh and you might think I'm a dick, but reflect on my answers and look back, observe the steps again, and you'll see there are things to learn, to adjust within you.

Fair points :(

facebookpussy
03-10-2015, 07:48 AM
* Too many reasons I could think off. Like career, you're far from each other or she's really not that into you.