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View Full Version : Do you think my stupid text ruined us?



momto4
11-24-2014, 11:14 AM
Hi everyone. This is my first post. I'm hoping to get some helpful info on this subject that I'm sure a lot of peopl ehave done.

I've been dating this guy for 10 months now. I'm 38 & he's 39. We don't normally talk on the phone, but we text a lot. I've been feeling like something is off, so I asked him last night. Here is our convo

Me "Ok, so I'm just wondering if everything is ok with us. I feel like something is wrong. Are you mad at me for something"

Him "No, just when I have things going on I don't need twenty questions about it, okay?"

Me" Ok, I get that"

He has had a lot going on recently. I've been talking to my best friend about how I felt, so I took a screenshot of this short convo between him & me. I went to send it to her & sent it to the guy I'm dating instead!

He said "Well, you just took a screenshot of our text & instead of sending it to your friend you sent it to me"
"whatever"
"night"

Do you think this ruined our relationship??? I haven't talked with him today yet.

TheRogue
11-24-2014, 11:55 AM
I don't think you ruined your relationship, but it is a betrayal of trust when you send your private conversations with him to a friend (even though we all do that sometimes when we feel the need to vent). I would just tell him you're sorry, and you shouldn't have done that, but in the moment you felt like he was pushing you away. Understand though that guys deal with issues differently. When a woman has issues, she will typically want to talk to all her friends to vent and help her figure it out. When a man has issues, he will typically want to retreat to his "man cave," brood a bit, and then think of a solution to whatever is bothering him. While you think you're doing the best thing by asking him questions wanting to talk it out, you're actually intruding into his "man space" and distracting him from handling his issues. The best thing you can do is acknowledge this and give him space to deal with whatever he's dealing with. Once he handles his affairs, he'll be open to communication again.

Rogue

momto4
11-24-2014, 12:36 PM
Thanks. He will not answer my texts now, so I think he's really mad. He hasn't even read them since I sent one at 11:38 this morning & it's now 2:36. I'm really worried.

TheRogue
11-24-2014, 09:15 PM
Give him space for a few days and let him be the one to make contact. You sent an apology, that's all you can do at this point. The more you text him now, the needier you look, and it's gonna push him away. He needs to know that you can respect his need for space, have your own life going, and don't need his constant attention. Otherwise he will feel smothered and withdraw from you even more. Try to forget about him for a bit and focus your attention in other things. He'll text back when he's ready.

Rogue