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throwawaycity
11-22-2014, 01:31 PM
Here's some background: My girlfriend and I are in high school and we've only been together for about a month. She's been honest with me and told me that she's slept with 13 guys, me being the 14th. Although this makes me uncomfortable I've been with a few women and I don't judge people based on their past.

My problems started when I did something I really shouldn't have and had no right to do. She left her facebook signed in on my computer and I read through her messages. Note that all of the these messages are from BEFORE we started dating: There were lots of guys she had never met that she just added on facebook and was flirting with, making plans to meet up with them. I noticed that only a week before we started dating she was calling a guy baby and telling him she loved him (obviously her ex-boyfriend). Another message was from the same time she was dating this guy, she was telling another ex-boyfriend who moved away how badly she wanted to fuck him. Another guy she offered to send naked pictures to, and I noticed that at any time in the past six months there was some guy she was telling she loved.

I really don't know how to react to this. She hasn't cheated on me, and as far as I know on any other guy, but she has obviously acted very innapropriately for somebody in a relationship. I can't confront her about this because I completely violated her trust by reading her messages.

Essentially my questions are how would you guys feel, would you break up with her, do you think she has/will cheat on me, would you confront her and how would you do it, and any other general feedback. Thanks in advance

rockycruz
11-25-2014, 05:09 PM
1. Maybe she was telling you she slept with 13 guys blah blah because...
2. She is afraid to break up
3. She knew it will trigger you with more questions and...didn't log out on purpose for you find out to...break up with her.
4. Or she said that because she's testing you out and see if you're needy, desperate, lack value, and you'll do exactly what she is expecting, and she'll know when you tell her or act weird, and creepy.

It could be anything but what's important is not all that.

It's why it rattled you. Why did it make you act out of your character?

It's because you have One-itis. It's when you have become obsessed with one single female. You're hung up on that you spend each and everyday thinking about her, what she's doing.

And you will do anything and everything to get her attention, to keep her, to be around her. You become desperate, clingy, needy and do things that's put of your typical character LIKE checking her Facebook messages and reading them.

There isn't one single girl or woman to have it create drama in your head, emotions and taking yourself so low. The moment this happens is when you give all power and control to this one girl.

You want to know how to get rid of this feeling?

Get...ANOTHER...Girl.

Get more. When you act like that for one girl, for any girl, you're going to mess yourself up and do stuff that is way out of your character. It's emotions from fear. Neediness. Desperation.

Become the guy she...can't have.

xslim12
11-25-2014, 05:21 PM
Essentially my questions are how would you guys feel, would you break up with her, do you think she has/will cheat on me, would you confront her and how would you do it, and any other general feedback. Thanks in advance

1) No, no reason to do so unless you are bored with the relationship or want another girl
2) I am not a fortune teller. You wont know until you find out.
3) No I would not confront her. I would try to forget everything
4) You are young and you are not going to be with this girl forever. I grantee you that... unless if it common practice to marry and have kids at 20 in your area/society/circle

CerebralZealot
12-11-2014, 01:17 AM
Relax and focus on bettering yourself, a lot of bad-feelings about this is just caused by your lack of experience with women which is completely normal at your age. Don't commit to your girlfriend in the sense of like future plans. You can hang out and be monogamous and shit, as long as it is fun.