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View Full Version : Relationship Over, Is She Over It Already?!



Fernando2826
10-20-2014, 02:46 PM
So this girl and I had been seeing each other for 6 months. Things got pretty heavy in this time - we went on an amazing holiday, lived together for a time and spent almost all of our time together. We had an incredible summer. She was the first to say "I love you" and later regularly called me her soulmate, discussed children and our future together (even said she would be uncertain about an abortion if it was mine!)

Now, I had already realised that she wasn't the love of my life, nor was she particularly suitable for a long term relationship given that she cheated on her ex-bf as they didn't see one another enough. What compounded it was her saying she didn't feel guilty because she didn't love him anymore (he still loved her...) She has always seemed to love male attention (was insecure about weight and looks and loved to be admired) and adored sex.

Anyway, we both departed for university, promising to try to make things work but within 2 weeks things had gone quiet and snappy on her end. I visited her, only for her to say that she didn't have the emotional capacity or time capacity to make a relationship work alongside her demanding course, for us to discuss how the LDR wasn't going to work and the break up to occur. She admitted she had slept in another guy's bed but I know nothing happened. Even so, she was texting this guy in front of me the entire time I was there and got happy whenever he responded.

I know what to do now, how to progress in terms of NC and self-improvement but just want some closure in my own mind. When we ended she was a mess, saying that she wished we had met after university so we could have had a future/still wanted a future etc, so she clearly still cared. But at the same time, she said she rarely thought of me or her "old" life whilst at university. She is now seeing the guy she shared a bed with.

HOW is it she could move on so quickly? Is she just blocking out the feelings by being with someone new? (word is she feels "empty"). Are there simply girls who NEED a guy to be there, to show them attention? (she has a lot of daddy abandonment issues, slept around when younger and has gone into acting - perhaps an attention related decision?). Is it because she's young (20) and consumed with her new life? Do you think she will regret it or just forget about me entirely? What do you guys think?

Really appreciate any responses. :confused:

Duut
10-20-2014, 04:13 PM
I'm sure she will not forget you entirely, but she sounds like a girl who is in love of the idea being in love.. and those people can move on pretty quick. So yes when they break up with someone, you can expect she will find somebody fast.

But to be honest, there is no point in asking all these questions, it's hard but work on letting it go. Improve yourself and get clear in your head, at some point when you're over her you can think logically about this situation but not now.
She is not worth it!

Fernando2826
10-21-2014, 09:03 AM
Cheers, man, i appreciate the response and you are right.

However, I find that I need to rationalise these things in order to get over them. I really need to understand this.

Duut
10-21-2014, 09:49 AM
Cheers, man, i appreciate the response and you are right.

However, I find that I need to rationalise these things in order to get over them. I really need to understand this.

Yes of course, but now it's emotional for you, and I know you will think things over trying to figure out why.. but know that when you are less emotional and put it behind you, you can figure it out with a clear head and most times that works better.

Anyway good luck!

Fernando2826
10-21-2014, 12:57 PM
Does anyone have any thoughts on it?

John Alex Clark
10-21-2014, 07:05 PM
As Fernando2826 has already stated she's in love with the idea of being in love or a so-called "love addict." While I would say it's still too early for her to have moved on completely, she is also the type who likes to live in this fantasy world where "one true love" exists and this "one true love" happens to be whichever guy she's in love with at the moment. Love addicts live in an idealistic version of reality and often subconsciously latch on to anyone who gives them attention as their "the one."