View Full Version : Where to go from here?! 3 months since breakup

09-16-2014, 02:17 AM
Me and my ex were together for 1 year roughly. Things started to fall apart as my career got busy and I was showing her less affection and care which emotionally hurt her. This started gradually happening over the last 3-4 months of the relationship.

We tried to fix things but failed and 2 months ago she decided to finally call it quits and end things. At the time it was a sudden shock for me and I just decided to delete her off all forms of communication but we had a couple of outstanding things with money which we had to resolve.

During that I said a few things at spur of the moment based on my emotions at the time, we spoke on the phone a couple of times and both cried.

After that I decided to go no contact for about a month and get myself back in a good place. After that we started texting again casually and friendly, with me throwing a few nice reminders of good times of our past which she responded well too.

Then I found out she was seeing a guy friend of hers that literally pounced obsessively on her the moment we broke up (A guy friend of hers who really likes her). She clinged onto him as emotional support but was keeping him at arms length. He's posted lots of pictures of them hanging out together on social media yet she hasn't and someone told me that she said to him she's not ready for another relationship right now.

This caused me to react a bit more intensively (I know I shouldn't of) and I ended up bumping into her at a club which caused some upset.

Off that back of that I sent her some flowers to her work with a note stating "This isn't over" and I text her a few days before asking to meet up.

She replied thanking for the flowers as it was a surprise to her but said she's very unsure on meeting up saying she has a busy week.

I sent her a letter the following day outlining my feelings which was yesterday, I yet to have a response.

Now after reading up on this situation I know I shouldn't of handled the situation in that way as I've essentially thrown everything to her on a plate.

I'm looking for some advice on how to get out of this bad phase and try and rebuild things from the ground up. I know I need to be at peace with myself before this.

Some people have said to me just move on and others said you have a chance but I'm also really believe that I can make it work if things could happen again. I've spent time identifying the underlying problems we had with a logical perspective and really feel I can make this work if there was a second chance.

So far she hasn't given me full closure as a straight up no. I feel like she's wanting me to convince myself to lot pursue as a way of being nice.

She recently added me on Facebook, then shortly after deleted me sending me a message saying she doesn't want to see me on her newsfeed (Maybe because there was some innocent pictures of me and other girls)

She then blocked me on whats app saying we should keep communication to a minimum then deleted me off snapchat.... then re-added me on snapchat and sent me a couple of snaps.

Really don't know how to go from here?

John Alex Clark
10-01-2014, 01:34 PM
Move on and try to get over her. I think she's sending you a definite message her that she doesn't want to make up with you for whatever reason.

I'd say you've already missed your chance and even if you do manage to get back together, then you'll always have this nagging fear in the back of your mind that she might just be using you. The same is true in her case. IMHO, the damage to the trust between you two is too great to be repaired.