View Full Version : Was the neg too heavy or was I spot on.

09-01-2014, 07:20 AM
so here is the conversation I had today with this 9 that I have been chatting with for a while. we are in a pretty advanced stage of the interaction.

First, I noticed that she changed her photo to a photo with vin diesel in a wax museum.
me, pssst..its a cloudy rainy morning, r u not gonna make it a bit brighter with a "good morning"
her: send a photo with an umbrella with the mid finger pointed out
her: thats how I feel about rainy Mondays
me: ur looking hot in that dress in the photo
her: so how are things..how is life?
me: awesome..had a super funny weekend
me: send a photo with a common friend in his underwear which happened after we got back drunk
me: always funny when he gets drunk
her: loughs loughs..what happened to his pants
me: no idea ..only got photos and videos but no memories
her: oh i want them
her: I need some entertainment!
me: hahah..but I promised him it wont leave my phone..already broke the promise with the first one
her: so then..send the rest.
me nop...
her: disappointed face
me: did you show vin diesel that photo..u two look like a match
her:yes i know he is a cutie
me: jah..and u kinda
her: oh i hear that often
sub text " i really felt like i needed to neg her at this point "
me: But ur also a nerd....i think he might actually be too cool for you
her: whaat..the connection is bad..i didn't hear that
me: pff..what..u don't hear this one that often
her: never heard before ..never
me: well am sorry to break the news..i saw your marks..so no way of denying
her: im not a nerd..just smart..i have a well functioning brain..takes stuff too quickly
subtext.." she is now qualifying her self again..as expected
me: laughing face..that is what every nerd i have ever seen said to me
her: and you know that
me: yes..i was a big bully back in high school
subtext "not really, i was actually the nerd"
me: when did you last get in trouble..i bet never
her: wont tell YOU
me: dont wanna know..probably is a boring story anyway
me: you forgot to feed your fish or something or didn't do you homework
no more replies from her

so what do you guys make out of this..should I apologize now..I don't really prefer this..or should I use another funny opener and steer out of the topic completely. am giving it one day to cool off

am not really sure if my neg was too big that I sounded too mean..but i think i was spot on

09-02-2014, 02:52 AM
I reckon it was...

me: when did you last get in trouble..i bet never


me: dont wanna know..probably is a boring story anyway

Having said that, I reckon her response is also a result of you complimenting her too much at the start. She's pushing to see if she can get away with it.

I wouldn't worry about her non response. Just drop her a message again a day later, and just ensure that the both of you have fun with the conversation.

09-02-2014, 05:30 AM
Thanks again for your reply storyofaguy..what..are you like the super man of pick up who always shows up when someone is in trouble..
I admit that I over complimented her at the beginning..but what do you mean " if she can get away with it" you mean the compliments??!!
anyhow..I did do something similar to what you said..here is how I corrected the situation
I waited till bedtime (i like texting at this time..as girls get chatty right before bed and they will sleep thinking of you..also they have still good memories of everything that happened during the day that they are eager to talk about)...any way, I changed my profile picture and the texting went like this.

Me: Sweety..was just joking about the nerd stuff..don't go get nightmares about it (apologizing in a way that will allow me to still keep my balls)
her: don't worry I wont
her: I liked you old photo better
Me: too bad..you'll have to do with this one
Me: am gonna sleep now..unless you wanna tell me a bedtime story
her: good night
me: haha..you'll never change will you
her: yes..bring back the old photo
me: okay..but first tell me!
her: tell you what:
Me: whatcha wearing?
her haha
her: good night
me: okay..just gonna use my imagination
me: good night

I woke up today at 8 am with her sending me a super sexy photo of her self :)
so everything is working again

09-02-2014, 06:34 AM
Haha. You're too kind on me. I just like analysing chat logs. It's fun stuff for me.

What I meant earlier on was that you were being nice and complimentary, and that probably gave rise to her attitude:

her: wont tell YOU

But bear in mind that I don't know what she is like as a person. So her tone in her messages could have been her way of bantering. If it is, then no worries there. If it isn't, then you might wanna tone down on the niceness.

Also, I noticed from your latest logs that you seem to be in the position of the chaser. I'd say tone that down and reframe your position, so that you become the one being chased. It can be awfully fun too, if you know how to play it. Here's how to reframe:

Me: Sweety..was just joking about the nerd stuff..don't go get nightmares about it (apologizing in a way that will allow me to still keep my balls)
her: don't worry I wont
her: I liked you old photo better

Me: I guess I'll have to print it out and DHL it to you then. How many rooms have you got at home? I'll give you 1 copy for each room...

Obviously that's not true. But it does suggest that she is the one obsessing over you. Watch out though... if you're not careful, you risk coming across as arrogant. So the key is to exaggerate so that it's unreal. This line is also particularly risky, but... high risk, high gains. If she laughs, you are in. If she gives you shit for it, which you ought to be prepared for, then you must have a good response to come back with. So if I sent that out, I would already have been 1 step ahead, with a good response in mind.

Now, that is my style - to reframe the message so that it feels like she's the one chasing me instead. That doesn't mean yours is not working though. For now. After all, she did send you a super sexy photo of herself.

That also tells me it is a good opportunity to escalate the interaction. When is the date?