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View Full Version : She just broke up with me, and wants to meet me tomorrow. (I'm 32)



worgin
07-30-2014, 11:18 AM
So advice on how to deal with that talk would be welcome. I've read EX2.
I look at her as the mother of my children. My gratitude would be eternal. I'm 32, she's 29.

So last thursday she ended things. I cried, (is it ok to cry in front of her?), and sent her away. She apologized.

Friday she called me to ask me to talk things over after the weekend. She asked for some time alone during the weekend. I gave her that time.

Sunday evening I dropped a letter in her mailbox saying that I've learned from my mistakes (which I have, I wasnt really nice to her. Mutual friends, and my family gave me a lot of insight) and told her that when we meet again it will be ok between us because we will either be a couple, or we will be friends. Either way, we will be allright.

Monday she texted me and said that she really appreciated those kind words, but did not want to talk to me yet. I replied that I will give her the time she needed, and will fight for it. (according to EX2 this is a mistake? :/ )

Today she texted me as if she was talking to a friend. She asked if we could meet tomorrow (thursday). I agreed.


I never begged her to stay or anything. The letter was verry open and not needy. Any advice for tomorrow evenings talk would be verry verry welcome.

I want to tell her how I came to the conclusion I was wrong. I want to tell her I'm sorry for what I did. Something inside me also wants to tell het how I see the future, and how much I think its fucked up that future isnt with her. But according to EX2 it isnt right to do so.

Thing is, she will never ever contact me after 4 weeks of NC. According to EX2 its ok to contact her after 3 weeks, but on this forums i read different things. People say you should never initiate contact unless its a few months..

She is a keeper, and yes I've had hotter women, and yes I could go back to dating, but her character is just... whauw. I love her waaaay too much. So yes my gratitude will be eternal.

thank you in advance.

KarmaPolice
07-30-2014, 03:15 PM
Why did things end, exactly? Or, what was the reason she gave?

I'm not sure crying in front of her was the best thing to do in certain ways, but what can you do? Hard not to feel sad during times like that...

worgin
07-30-2014, 05:55 PM
Why did things end, exactly? Or, what was the reason she gave?

I'm not sure crying in front of her was the best thing to do in certain ways, but what can you do? Hard not to feel sad during times like that...

In general, I was still working through a break up from my ex when I met her. I had a hard time opening up to her. As soon as I did, I left for 6 weeks on a journey which I had planned before I met her. We did not have a lot of contact.
When I got back it was rough again. Not a lot of opening up from my side, and I had to process the journey (which was hard and exhausting) for a while. A week and a half after my return she broke up.

I guess me being a bit drunk and ignoring her while we had a fight was the last draw for her

She says we are not compatible, but we are truly. Its just that I never really had a chance to open up. We were together for 7 months, including the 6 week travel.

worgin
07-31-2014, 01:14 AM
Anyone here? Im meeting her in a few hours. Any advice would be welcome

lassebauer
07-31-2014, 02:00 AM
Worgin, since youīre in a hurry, Iīll give you a very quick reply:
Listen - truly LISTEN - to what she has to say when you meet up.
Itīs all nice and dandy that you want her, see her as the mother of your children etc etc - but for some reason, you donīt act like it. (Canīt open up, treat her poorly etc)
And before you fix whatever issues you have between you, and whatever issues YOU have yourself - it makes little sense to live in a future fantasy.
You HAVE to get real about whatīs REALLY the issue here, or you will fuck it up completely.
And if space and time is whatīs needed to gain perspective (and it certainly sounds like it), THATīs what youīll have to give both yourself and her.
Sure, itīs not a good solution for you ATM, but the alternative is losing her all together.
So again: LISTEN to what she has to say, get some perspective by calming things down and not "just be together again and all will be well" - and then get real about what YOU need to fix to make this work.

Lucky for you, we just launched the perfect tool case for your situation: "The Breakup Survival Guide for Men".
Check it out here: The Breakup Survival Guide for Men | Lovesystems.com (http://www.lovesystems.com/breakup-guide/)
Thereīs even a special bundle offer right now - so you might want to consider investing 40 bucks to fix your current predicament...

Hope this helps, and good luck!

worgin
07-31-2014, 02:33 AM
Well, i've had a certain issue for severzl years. Only now, thanks to talking with a lot of people since she broke up, i realized what it was. So yeah i still have that issue, but now i reccognize it. I am gonna listen to her. I AM TRULY gonna LISTEN. I have thought over all of our past and see my mistakes, and understand her hurt. We now know the red flags, i hope she is willing to continue with me while i work on it. She can help me and i know thats ego centric

worgin
07-31-2014, 02:38 AM
So between us there is nothing bad. It really is me. The fact that i didnt want to open up was because i was processing my former breakup. This processing is over though. For a while now. And since then things went great. My journey was just a very bad timing

worgin
07-31-2014, 03:09 AM
I am waiting for the train right now. Please you guys.. Talk me through.

lassebauer
07-31-2014, 06:49 AM
Just do NOT pressure, beg or go into panic mode. Get away from the drama so you can get perspective. This is KEY!
Good things often take time - and potentially good things that have been fucked up take more time.
So try to take a step back, give her space and do both of you a favor and try not to go "I PROMISE to mow the lawn the next 10 years if only I get that Playstation" on her :)
Best of luck

worgin
08-01-2014, 02:05 AM
Ok.. So its over. :( i didnt beg or went into panic mode. I asked her eventually if she could give me another chance. Naturally the answer was no. Yes i used the word promise. I asked her if she could show me the love she still has for me, and i promised that i would make it grow. So now my question is: is it over over? Or do you reckon there might be a shot after some time of NC, self reflection, and self improvement?