View Full Version : Constantly trying to prove something to myself after breakup?

07-26-2014, 02:22 PM

I was dating a girl for 2 months. This relationship was kind of important to me, because I had never been in a relationship before. Always casual/one night stand kind of arrangements. I had been going wild at uni, partying, meeting lots of girls. I just wanted to settled down.

Everything was great. Then when she had to go back home for the summer, she broke up the relationship due to distance. We wouldn't be living near each other till September (was 5 months away). It was out of the blue and I was very angry as she said she was really happy and was loving every second of it.

In that time I have been talking to other girls, going on dates and keeping busy. However, today I said let me just check her twitter for old times sake. I saw a tweet saying something like "feeling loved, happiest I've ever been". Basically the same nonsense she was saying to me. I flipped out, my heart started beating fast and I just got angry.

I feel like I have to keep dating girls and speaking to as many girls as possible till I feel that I'm over it. It's not the girl, is more the embarrassment and anger and confusion I felt at the breakup. Her reasons weren't clear, I don't know if there was someone else in the picture.

What do I do?

PS: I deleted her off Whatsapp, Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram. I'm now trying to find out who she is dating...

07-26-2014, 03:36 PM
You feel delusional and frustrated, and it's completely understandable. Especially if it was your first take at a real relationship.

You started off the right way in getting rid of her contact details. But why in the world do you want to torture yourself by trying to find out who she is dating? Start deleting her from your brain too.

I am not here to sell you anything, but LS just released a new book on breakups (http://www.lovesystems.com/breakup-guide/), and it's even cheap. For some free advice, check this out: Get Over an Ex (http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/relationships/future-s-classic-article-on-conquering-oneitis-beatricide)

You are absolutely right that you have to speak to and date a lot of girls. I am not one to say Go Fuck Ten Other Women, it hurts to get dumped, and it will probably hurt for a while, but throw this fish back in the sea and start meeting new girls. Do your first approach today.

07-26-2014, 04:00 PM
Thanks I will check out the book and free advice. I'm just really confused as I don't know why I'm so angry. Looks wise she's okay, I've gotten better looking girls in the past, and know I can in the future. I've moved on sexually and socially from her.

I think it's just the fact our relationship ended really abruptly and badly. Basically she tried to blame it on temporary distance, whereas I was convinced theres more to it. I never got to the end of that. When I see her acting all happy I get disgusted and feel angry. We broke up in April and I still get wound up. It's crazy.