View Full Version : Looking for advice-6 year relationship

06-18-2014, 09:32 AM
Hey all,
Im really looking for some insight on how I should deal with this situation as so far I have not gone well...
Me and My girl have been together for almost 6 years, she is a bit younger than me and we have a 4 year old daughter together. We used to be very happy and in love and everything was great.. over the past two years We have had a lot of ups and downs and drifted a lot, mostly due to me dealing with depression and neglecting her and taking her for granted.. Not to say she is perfect, but I had said to her in the past I would change and be happier but I haven't done anything about it until now im changing my life, i am on antidepressants, being social and finding myself again.

About two weeks ago she told me she wanted to separate(only temporary) and said she needed to sort herself out and try and be happy, think about only herself for a while and have some fun. For some reason I jumped strait on her facebook and seen this guy messaging her on facebook. I flipped out and said a lot of shit things, she cried and said she was sorry for confiding with another man. I thought we were going to talk and find a solution when I got home(I work away) that was untill she went out in town, the next day she was crying and said to me she kissed this guy and she doesn't know what she wants and is confused and feels she has fallen out of love with me but still 'loves me' and a heap of other stuff. She was sorry and guilty and still wanted to try and fix things between us still.
That's where I fucked up and got emotional, went up and down for days until she turned around and said she has had enough and we are over, we have not spoken since..
Im pretty sure that she is only chasing this guy because of the excitement and the attention he has probably been giving her and I also know that she really did want to give us another go but did not think we would be any different.
I get home in a few days and I will see her when I pick up our child (she is staying with her mum). what I want advise on is how can I show her that things will be different and how can I apologise for acting like a needy idiot the last few weeks. And generally the best way to go about repairing the damage..
I don't want to just move on we have a family, building a new house right now and we have been through so much. I know we can be happy together and find our love again how can I show her that?

any advise would be great, I really don't know what I should do..


Hank Havok
06-19-2014, 01:44 AM
You want to apologize for finding out she cheated on you? While I don't agree with your methods or behavior she cheated on you and bullshitted you. Act totally unaffected, like the day is wonderful and treat her like just another friend. Don't talk, bargain, argue, nothing. You're welcome. HH

06-19-2014, 05:17 AM
Thanks Hank Havok,
I realise that, thanks for the advise, I did know that's what I am supposed to do but I was deluding myself... I found out she Is now seeing this guy. I will battle on and forget her!