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View Full Version : "Ex/FWB" contacting me...wut do



DarkInvoker
05-12-2014, 03:43 AM
I started working with this girl, we started fucking 2 months in, this continued for around 5-6 months. It was obvious I wasn't the only guy she was talking to, so I treated it as such and would rarely initiate. She would play a lot of games [E.G Arrange to hang out, then flake last minute] when she did this - I would act like it didn't bother me/I didn't really notice and then a week later she'd ask me to hang out again.

Anyway, I went on holiday to Europe for a month. Realized on holiday that I had feelings for this girl. She was texting me everyday saying how much she missed me etc. I'd be very short and 6-7 hour response times because didn't want to get into texting conversations while I'm enjoying my holiday. Decide 2 weeks into it that I'll call her - basically tell her that I want to experience more with her than just hanging out at my place, watching New Girl and having sex - so I invited her to come with me and my friends to a music festival in Melbourne when I got back from Europe.

She came, we had an amazing weekend together, got back - met her parents, felt like this was going to escalate into a relationship. I get back to work and this other girl I work with basically tells me that the suspicions I had previously were correct and I needed to talk to this other guy that I work with. Find out this girl had been sleeping with another guy from work for the majority of the time. According to him and her they stopped sleeping together around when I went to Europe (kind of around the time I started to catch feels/things started getting more serious).

Anyway, I wasn't happy. We had a mad argument, I basically said I always suspected she was like that from the start and that's why it took so long for me to bring her into my life. Basically told her we were finished (before we even started lols). She was crying and begging me to let her talk so I told her we could have a chat at the work Christmas party. Get to Christmas party, tell her "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" and if you continue to treat guys the way you do, just because you've been fucked over by your ex in the past...that you'll never find someone / be happy.

Long story short she ended up getting really drunk at said party after our chat and got herself fired (lol). We stopped talking as much as I wanted to get over her. Every time she'd ask to hang out I'd tell her I was busy. A month passed, she came over and I told her I still wanted to be friends with her. She went to Thailand for a month. When she got back she wanted to see me but I had dislocated my shoulder so wasn't really in a state to. A week passed and she got into a relationship.

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There's a lot more details but didn't want to turn this into more of an essay. I felt when she got into a relationship it gave me a lot of closure, helped me stop thinking about her as much. However I'm fairly certain her "relationship" was just a rebound as she knew she could never have anything serious with me.

Anyway, we were supposed to hang out a week after she got back from her holiday and when I texted her she said "I'm actually in a relationship now, so I think it's best if we don't hang out as I'm going to take this seriously and try to stop hurting guys." I wished her good luck with it all and went no contact.

2 months have passed and she started messaging me again asking to catch up. 1st time I said I was really busy and could possibly fit her in during my lunch break. She messaged me a week or so later and I said I'm really busy with exams but I'll shoot her a message when I'm finished.

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I've had a few relationships in my life but this girl was unlike any other. Never felt a connection with anyone as I did with her. I don't think I can trust her again but I still want her in my life as a FWB/open relationship. She's still in a relationship but as I said before has been contacting me wanting to catch up. Maybe it's because she wants the validation that I still like her? I'm not sure. How should I play this?

I basically told her I'd shoot her a message once I've finished my exams. My plan atmo is to not even bother contacting her...and wait for her to contact me. When she messages me I'll apologize and say I completely forgot. I want to play it off that I no longer care at all. I feel like the odds of me getting laid are fairly slim - so there's little point me going out of my way to "catch up". However her boyfriend goes away for a month in about 3 weeks so I think that's when I will attack.